Feeling like a failure - off sick again

[lele19]

Hi guys,

I'm looking for a little bit of positivity as I'm feeling a bit down today. Up until May this year I'd only ever worked around 25 hours a week. After 3 years of working at a job I was very settled in, I was made redundant along with half of the business. I found another job which was full time and started straight away, I was then offered a better job, also full time - and that's where I've been working for the last 6 months. During this time I've had around 10 sick days, and been signed off for a week by the Dr due to stress/exhaustion/anxiety. My boss hates it and is very unsupportive, the company is completely inflexible despite getting a letter from my dr saying this is essentially a disability as it has affected me so much for 12 years.

I called in sick this morning as I woke up with a migraine, vertigo, hot sweats and just feeling horrid. I feel like such a failure - it's only been 3.5 weeks since my last sick day. I work 35 hour weeks, 9 - 5 everyday.

I'm looking for another part time job, but they are so scarce and I'm worried I'll end up living off my savings, not being able to earn an income. I feel frustrated, upset, I feel like I've failed yet again.

Any words of comfort would be great.

:(

[davidos-UK]

Me too, I can completely relate.

I took a new job in October, I have found it and my 90 minute commute very stressful and last week I had enough so handed in my one month notice.

Last week I was signed off due to stress. It is a busy time coming up so not ideal. Also I now have huge guilt that I have handed in my one month notice and am not even working that because I am signed off sick!

I feel like I am being judged as a trouble maker, I sit around my flat dwelling on not going to work and what a failure I am, people in this world handle much more stress than me but I have just caved in. I can't even eat today.

Ultimately, you are only good to anyone if you are functioning. At the moment you are not so getting yourself better is the most important thing!

[Pineapplepie]

Hi Lee
I sympathise with your work situation. I really believe that my work situation made me develop GAD in the first place. Now I'm on long term sick and awaiting counselling, on meds etc.
I feel like I owe the company I work for nothing because of the stress they put on me. I do however miss working and the 'normality ' of it so am also looking for other less stressful part time work. At the moment I'm at home looking after my little Son who keeps me very busy :)

I feel guilty in as such I want to get out there and do more for my family. I feel a failure for having an illness that's all in the mid and can't be seen. Like it's fake or something.

I didn't realise that anxiety is classed as an actual disability.

Try your best not to think of your very not understanding boss. You haven't been there long so what can they possibly know about you. As Davidos says you need to be well to function effectively. Being anxious about not being at work will make the anxiety worse!

Your employers cannot dismiss you when you have full support of your gp. Do you have a union?