View Full Version : HA been acting up lately
The past two weeks I have fallen back into HA habits ... checking constantly, worrying, googling. I'm disappointed in myself. My current obsession is my mouth.
I am trying to step outside the cycle and look at the function of my behaviors, but it feels really hard this time. I know I do this when I am stressed, upset, sad, etc even if it is about something unrelated. I have been stressed at work, feeling more depressed lately, have my big licensure exam this weekend, and also anniversary of my mom dying of cancer - something that made my HA really bad. I was doing a little better then stopped by her grave, because I didn't have time before, and came home an HA mess.
So I guess my point is I know why this is happening right now, but I feel so scared about my health that I am afraid I can't break out of it. I'm terrified if I "let go" of this obsession, something bad will happen and I will die ... I know that sounds extreme, but that's the fear at the basis of this, because it's what happened to my mom ... she got over her HA and then got cancer and died 6 weeks later ...
I'm just frustrated and don't know how to break it. I am 99% sure I am fine. I am not looking for health reassurance. I just could use some help getting through this blip ... hoping it's just a blip. The scary thing is how strong the blips can feel sometimes.
Hi swgrl,
your stressed at the moment so please be kind to yourself. Don't worry about a flare up in you ha it will pass as you know. The habit of your anxiety manifesting itself in you HA will lessen in time and if it dosent then you know what you are dealing with. You know there is nothing wrong with your mouth. This is just your dragon seein a little gap to jump in and get a little bit naughty. Just give him a kind but firm word:hugs: Lucia xx.
Thanks, Luc. I know you are right. I'm trying to listen to my rational self instead of my emotional self, but the emotional one is so much louder. I freaked out last night and my husband told me to watch it and go to the dentist if it gets worse. Well apparently that was NOT the thing I wanted to hear ... I wanted to hear "It's fine, don't worry about it." But then when I showed him, he couldn't even see it ... ugh I don't know. I wish I wasn't like this!!!
I have to try to distract myself tonight and study instead of focus on my health "issues" ...
You know " it's fine don't worry about it" would not of cut it either. remember Concentrate on you anxiety and not your mouth. If you thought there was something wrong with your mouth you would be doing something about it xxxx Now study !!
Thank you, you are right. Nothing would have cut it honestly. I did ok throughout the day, still poking/prodding, but have avoided google. Had a flare up at home when I had to break out the flashlight. I really need to try harder to stop obsessing ...
Swgl, set yourself a challenge today to ignore any compulsion to do with you dragons new fixation !!!!
Ok you are right, I am going to challenge myself. I have decided if it is still scaring me in 2 weeks, I will definitely make an appointment but in the meantime I need to ignore it.
Been doing a little better today ... not focusing on it as much, trying to focus on what's in front of me and ground myself. I can get so caught up in my thoughts and worries, it takes grounding to bring myself back to reality.
Suffering too at the moment swgrl09. Think it may be the time of year.
I am trying to keep busy and distract by giving myself more tasks to do. I felt as if I was going backwards and the Fear of going back to the way I was a year ago is not an option. TV has been bringing me down too. Try and think of something you can do to keep your Mind away from it, even if it's something completely new. :)
Sorry you are suffering too, Carnation :hugs: It sucks when you feel like you are doing well and then hit a bump in the road again. I agree, I refuse to go back to as bad as I was in the past ...couldn't keep living like that. TV and news are really hard, as lots of scary stuff on there ...
Keeping busy is a good idea. I got home and I am feeling a bit sick so didn't work out like I wanted to ... think that has also been making me feel worse. But I did clean up, vacuumed, swept, made dinner, showered, now trying to relax and study for my test ... big licensure test for my career Saturday and they are calling for a big snowstorm ... ugh!!
My husband got me essential oils for Christmas and I've been meaning to try them, what better time than now!
Wow, you have been busy. But, they are all chores. Make sure you get your personal time and treat yourself.:)
---------- Post added at 00:34 ---------- Previous post was at 00:32 ----------
Licensure! That sounds exciting. Good Luck for that. :)
Yes, that's what I seem to forget about! Treating myself! I may book a massage soon ... I think all of us with anxiety should be kinder to ourselves ...it goes a long way.
Well, I had my test today and I really don't know how I did. I know I got some questions wrong because I looked them up after. I talked to a friend who took it after because I thought I studied a lot and was prepared, but took it and felt really unprepared ... but he said he thought he was well-prepared and wasn't concerned about his performance. Shook me up a little...
I did really well yesterday and most of today with HA ... then had a downfall. Got home, found some things from my mom, got upset for a bit (just happens, i'm sure others can attest to having a good cry about a lost loved one once in a while) and then started obsessing over my mouth issue again. Convinced I had cancer again. I mean it so clearly correlated to when I feel upset or stressed, but recognizing that isn't helping the fear feel any less strong. I'm still a bit nervous but hope it ran it's course.
Carnation, how are you doing? You were having a bit of a rough time too. Hope things have gotten a little better.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions Inc. All rights reserved.