scared

[katie42]

Hi there

I am new to this forum and just wanted to know if anybody has got any advice or been through a similar experience.

I have suffered from panick attacks and more recently really bad anxiety for some years now. I was put onto seroxat for years and managed to come off them last year ( which was a horrible time for me). I then went onto another drug citalopram last year and managed to come off them quite quickly. I am now drug free, which I am really pleased about, but I still have to deal with the same feelings everyday and sometimes to scared to leave the house ( now have ibs too )

My problem now is that I have been putting off getting pregant because I am so scared, not only about the labor but incase I get morning sickness ( I have a real phobia about feeling sick) and having to go to hospital and my husband not being able to be stay with me and sleep in the same room as me .

I know that if i do not give it a go, I will regret it forever - BUT HOW WILL I COPE, I only need to walk pass a hospital and I have severe anixtey.

thanks for your time in reading this
Katie xx

[dizzyd]

You know I could have written this post myself! I find myself in the same situation, having come off cipralex last August I really feel that time is passing me by regarding getting pregnant. (We have a 10 year old and would love another child) It is a case of me finding excuses eg I must lose weight before I get pregnant. The real truth is I am scared that I may mis-carry again (This happened 4 years ago). A huge worry is the labour (I was induced with our son and it was a case of forceps amd stitches and I know people say you forget the pain when you look at your child -well I haven't!!!!! Another worry is what if I get bad with my anxiety again? I won't be able to take my cipralex. All these thoughts whirl about in my head and I feel guilty because I know that time is passing us by and we always imagined having another child. ( We feel blessed to have 'one' and he is a real joy and I know many people would say 'at least you have one' but I just feel that rather than it being a conscious decision not to have another child my anxiety is making our minds up and that feels so wrong. Anyway, I didn't mean to hi-jack your post but is really pulled at my heart strings and I just wanted you to know that I really understand how you feel.
PS I absolutely hate hospitals so that is another fear - I had my son in a lovely, cosy cottage hospital but that is no longer there so it would be a big, brash, frightening (to me ) Maternity hospital...... Oh dear :( PPS On a brighter note I have had many months of being able to handle my anxieties - the fear seems to jump at me but I appear to have a waterproof covering that lets it run off me!!!!! So although anxiety still stands in the way of the above I have a lot more freedom to enjoy my life with hubby and son. [Yeah!]:)

'Hold me close, let Your love surround me, bring me near, draw me to Your side; And as I wait, I'll rise up like the eagle, and I will soar with You; Your spirit leads me on, In the power of Your Love.'

[Ma Larkin]

Hi Katie, the first time I actually got pregnant accidentally. I had been poorly & on antibiotics for 4 weeks & Christmas Day in 1988 I though I'd better show willing lol!! 9 months later my first daughter was born.

OMG! when I found out I was pregnant I was suicidal! I didn't eat for 3 months, I couldn't even keep the build-up drinks down because the fear of being sick, needles, stitches, labour, etc., was too overwhelming for me.

When the time came & labour started I lasted an hour before I had an emergency C section. It was the worst labour ever, but I went on to have 2 more & can honestly say that they were the most wonderful experiences ever. So I had a bit of pain, did a bit of screaming & made a bit of a mess, but there is nothing like it I promise.

I really feel for women who have nasty first pregnancies & never go on to have another baby because of fear. No 2 pregnancies are ever the same & for all you women out there who only have the one at the moment because of this fear, I strongly advise to try & overcome the fear.

I never suffered from morning sickness. Used to feel a bit sickly around tea time, but never was sick. I know that a lot of women have terrible morning sickness, but it soon subsides. Don't worry about hospital stays. When I had my daughter in the morning, they chucked me out the same afternoon!! I made my own breakfast at home in the morning, had my baby, then went home & cooked tea for us all in the evening!!

Good luck & I hope you overcome your anxiety. Who knows, having a baby might help with your anxiety.

Les, xx

[peach]

this has been my biggest fear too,,

i so sympathise with you katie. im 32 and am terrified of birth, needles, possible misscarriage etc..i also have ibs, and have felt that im just not well enough pysically or mentally to cope with a pregnancy...yet, i know id be pretty sad if i never had a kid. i think i could onlyh handle the one, so those of you who have one, you are very lucky.
im trying not to think about it for now, and will think about it in a year or two, ( i think ive still got that time)...it creeps up on you doesnt it...
i keep hearing lately (maybe cause they know of my anx) that most labours go well,without problems, and even my friend just gave birth to her first baby, i watched her whole pregnancy, she seemed to breeze through it, if only i was that brave...
theres a 4 page post about this kinda thing in phobias section in here

[ginger2006]

Hey Katie
I have exactly the same fears! My partner and I are starting IVF soon and I am 100% pertrified to a point where I make myself sick with worry. I really want a child but I don't know if I can cope with the whole pregnancy thing, never mind having to inject myself with hormones and having to go for lots of internal examiniations.
One day I feel strong enough to do it, others days the thought of it repulses me.
I'm sure we can help each other get through it though :O)
Chin up Sweetie xxxx

[Wilburis]

Hi Katie.

I know exactly how you feel, although Im actually 8 weeks pregnant now. Im suffering with severe anxiety and panic attacks and my Doc will not give me anything. I use Diazepam occasionally, when Im really desperate.

It is really hard to cope with and Im wondering how will I cope when the baby is born. I cant go out by myself for fear of collapsing.

I had a c-section with my daughter 5 years ago as I was going mental about thinking about giving birth. I just would not be able to do it. It was the best thing, you know what date, what time, etc. 20 minutes on the table and all over. I did have pain for 5 days but it was the best thing. They give you lots of drugs afterwards, which was cool!!

Ive been suffering with morning sickness that lasts all day, but your Doc can give you special tablets so you dont feel sick.

If you'd like to chat, please feel free to PM me.

Best of luck with everything and please dont let this control you. You are strong.

Hey Ginger2006.

Been there, seen it, got the Tshirt!!! Ive had the internal scans and had to inject myself with hormones.
Ive got polycystic ovaries and tried IUI (which failed). You really get used to the scans, the room is dark and the Doc does not look down 'there'. Just remember, they see loads of women all the time. Although I always did wonder if the Doc and nurses talked about it.

The injections are cool. If you are worried, ask if you can have the 'pen'. You just click the top and its done. I quite enjoyed injections, it made me feel like a proper Doctor, like on Casualty or ER and missed them when I had finished. Just remember to grab a roll of flesh near your belly button. I knew my flabby stomach would come in handy one day!!!!!

Good luck - Lizzie xx

[bambamers]

hi,i have suffered with severe anxiety for over 10years and have a real phobia of hospitals aswell.but i have a 5 month old daughter now and i coped realy well.the morning sickness i jusy got on with,i did feel my anxiety got worse while i was pregnany but its soooooo worth it.i worried non stop about the labour and going to hospital but when the time come i was realy strong and you dont have time to get anxious as all you want is the baby out.i had a 38 hour horrible labour but i would do it again.and as for staying in on your own i just refused and discharged myself after 10hours and my community midwife came to my house straight away to make sure i was ok.