Why me anxiety?

[Nicole201017]

Hi all literally just joined! And although I HATE health anxiety I'm glad I'm not the only one in the world!! We all pretty much do the exact same thing! Constantly searching our symptoms witch always comes back horrific!! Well I'm still doing this and will carry on doing this because my head won't stop! Just woke up couldn't get to sleep last night! Crying because I thought I wouldn't wake up!! Yesterday after panicking so much because I had a weird pain on the left side of my face and head that was a blood clot trying to get thru (stroke) I have chest pain on a daily basis that's heart attack or some kind of heart decease basically I'm going to die! I've "got" every cancer possible!! I've got Ebola! Skin deceases! The list goes on and go! I CAN NOT take it anymore!! I worry and stress my self so much to the point I have physical symptoms headaches everyday fainting feeling everyday fatigue the worst! I just cannot cope anymore! I've felt like this for 4 years I'm 21 now! It's just not a life to be living I struggle with my day to day life I have a 4 year old son who is missing out on a lot of fun stuff because his mummy can't leave the house! I'm on benefits ATM because I'm scared of working but in August I HAVE to find college or a job! I have 8 months to at least make some sort of a change I'm writing here as well as phoning somewhere called (lift) for help and meant to be taking escitalopram (anti depression tablets) BTW I won't take these I'm to scared to take tablets I think think they will kill me! I've had a bad experience with anti depression tablets before they made me feeling like I was on drugs!! Gurning, shaking, feeling sick! It was horrendous!!! Ideas and thoughts please......

[panicky88]

Feeling much like you...the physical pains, dizziness, fatigue have been tough and very hard to accept as anxiety. I pretty much think the same heart/tumor/stroke etc...I don't want to die, I'm almost 27 with an almost 6yo and am due to marry my partner of 9yrs in March.

I have been this way 10wks. I got to the point I couldn't calm myself, couldn't go out, couldn't do housework or cook etc...I laid in bed and played boardgames and read books to my 6yo so I was still playing but felt guilty I wasn't outside with him or doing craft n fun things. I went to doc n he prescribed cymbalta - I took it for two days and felt rubbish, so flat and I'll I couldn't even b happy to play boardgames or read books so I stopped taking it. I had 2 awesome weeks anxiety/symptom free! Felt normal, was able to b active and have fun with my Lil guy - beach, walking, shopping, playing on trampoline, I could now theyard, iron, clean the house - everything. I even went to a friends bday and enjoyed 2glasses of wine (though I did feel anxious cos I'd read alcohol can heighten anxiety) BANG next day I wake up and anxiety is back...has been for 6 days now. I know I'll b OK but then the pains symptoms get the better of me and I start spiraling into panic again and I'm finding it so hard to beat it.

My only advice (easier said then done) is don't let anxiety consume you...still try your hardest to go out n do things u would normally do. Eat well, try to exercise regularly, read a good book (apparently our minds can't do two things at once). Positive talk to yourself - I'll be OK, I'm fine, I will get past this...and try to believe it. If anything sinister was gonna happen, it would have by now. I've been trying the above and its def not easy but just gotta keep trying. I see a psychologist in 1.5wks for first time so hoping she can help. I'm also due to start universityin match (studying psychology of all things) so hope that will help keep my mind busy too...

I wish u all the best luck and hope things gget easier for you soon. Pm me if you need to chat

[stay happy.]

I JUST HATE ANXIETY. because it's a disease on one hand and on the other hand it's not a disease!! :mad: :wacko:

[Mrschurchill]

Welcome to the forum! You'll get a lot of comfort from people who know EXACTLY what you're going through. HA is awful but you're not alone x

[popejoan]

Hello Nicole welcome to the forum. It's good that signing up here at least made you realize that you are not the only person with HA in the world.

Mine started in September 2014 when my routine pap smear results came back with borderline cell changes and hpv positive. At around same time I found out my mum had breast cancer 15 years ago but they never told me. I also turned 30 in September, I have a wedding in 2 months and I am supposed write my dissertation this year. I am also far away from my family and miss them so much. It's just too much for me to handle and I've suffered from GAD and OCD for years so it was almost inevitable for me to start having HA.

Since then I've convinced myself I had almost all cancers, neurological disorders and at the moment motor neuron disease. I've had numbers of tests, maybe 10 blood tests, I'm at my GP at least once a week and I'm putting off everything in my life. I should be happy as I'm getting married and graduating finally but no, I'm not happy and I don't have any energy.

Anyway long story short I'm living in hell like most of other people on this site and all I can do is try to support and help other people like me. Being online on this site kind of helps me stay way from google as well, I still can't resist and google but I google less now. Hope you find help here and hope you feel better soon. Whenever you feel overwhelmed I'm always here to help. x