Coni
11-01-07, 21:19
i feel really bad tonight. Ive had a really horrible day....got stuck in heavy traffic on the way to a training day, gale force winds, torrential rain and I was surrounded by buses and lorries. That was the start. All day Ive felt myself getting more and more tense and i cant switch it off. tonight I feel like I'm going to burst..my stomachs churning, jelly legs,heart pounding, i feel lightheaded. Ive never had a full blown panic attack for years and I dont want to start now. Im in myself with the kids and even the sound of their voices and the television is really getting to me....everything seems amplified. I just wanted to be left alone to sit in the dark with no light, no noise, no one talking to me. But I cant tell them that can I. In a way its good cos if my hubby was here I wouldnt be able to come on here and sound off....he doesnt know I still get like this.
Im trying to slow my breathing....I feel like Im on the verge of tears but i cant do that either. I tried lying in the dark in my room earlier but it didnt work and my back is aching, my senses are on overdrive. I want to scream at the kids to go away but I know its not them....great mother eh? And I cant see them going to bed anytime soon. i dont know why I feel like this now, today..out of the blue.
Sorry for going on..i hoped if I got it all out I'd feel better. Ive got some wine but i dont know if thatll make me better or worse.
thanks for listening
Coni x
Im trying to slow my breathing....I feel like Im on the verge of tears but i cant do that either. I tried lying in the dark in my room earlier but it didnt work and my back is aching, my senses are on overdrive. I want to scream at the kids to go away but I know its not them....great mother eh? And I cant see them going to bed anytime soon. i dont know why I feel like this now, today..out of the blue.
Sorry for going on..i hoped if I got it all out I'd feel better. Ive got some wine but i dont know if thatll make me better or worse.
thanks for listening
Coni x