s0phie
26-01-15, 02:02
after some googling and a conversation with my mother, we both thought i'd been having panic attacks and that i worry too much, so she took me to my family doctor.
i explained feelings sometimes where i'm crying and shaking but not feeling sad just thinking what the hell is wrong with me and sometimes not being able to breathe properly like i'm trapped inside a solid object.
she gave me some medication after taking my blood pressure called Citilopram. when i left the room she spoke with my mum in private and then i started taking the pills no questions asked
she never said what i had. i assume i have anxiety, but it's never been confirmed.
DO I? OR DON'T I?
when i don't take the pills i notice i'm a horrible person, like to the point where one side of me is like stop being so angry and the other side is like shut up i can do what i want
i'm a nice person really, honestly, i feel so ashamed when i have my "funny turns"... and i snap at people
i also rub my fingers when i talk about it, like using my thumb to rub the insides of my fingers and i've done it with my mouth too (the only way i can describe is like a cat licking its paw and then rubbing its face to clean it) i rub the edges of my mouth with my finger :shrug: people have made fun of me because of it and i'm really concious about doing the mouth one
also between my toes and the bottom of my feet, my neck/behind my ears
i do it when i'm nervous
i also use a sharp nail scissors to cut hard skin off my feet to the point where it bleeds and i can't stand on them
all of the above just gets me down
(TL;DR)
ugh what is wrong with me
sorry i'm so weird
do i have anxiety or not because my doctor never said and now i just take citilopram (10mg) :weep:
i explained feelings sometimes where i'm crying and shaking but not feeling sad just thinking what the hell is wrong with me and sometimes not being able to breathe properly like i'm trapped inside a solid object.
she gave me some medication after taking my blood pressure called Citilopram. when i left the room she spoke with my mum in private and then i started taking the pills no questions asked
she never said what i had. i assume i have anxiety, but it's never been confirmed.
DO I? OR DON'T I?
when i don't take the pills i notice i'm a horrible person, like to the point where one side of me is like stop being so angry and the other side is like shut up i can do what i want
i'm a nice person really, honestly, i feel so ashamed when i have my "funny turns"... and i snap at people
i also rub my fingers when i talk about it, like using my thumb to rub the insides of my fingers and i've done it with my mouth too (the only way i can describe is like a cat licking its paw and then rubbing its face to clean it) i rub the edges of my mouth with my finger :shrug: people have made fun of me because of it and i'm really concious about doing the mouth one
also between my toes and the bottom of my feet, my neck/behind my ears
i do it when i'm nervous
i also use a sharp nail scissors to cut hard skin off my feet to the point where it bleeds and i can't stand on them
all of the above just gets me down
(TL;DR)
ugh what is wrong with me
sorry i'm so weird
do i have anxiety or not because my doctor never said and now i just take citilopram (10mg) :weep: