AprilV
26-01-15, 18:50
I am 15 and since I got diagnosed a while back I have been posting a lot of threads and such about my endless stream of worries and symptoms. I have been obsessing particularly over my doomsday/apocalypse phobia which I cannot stop persistently thinking about recently, especially on a night.
It gets so bad during some points that I feel like I just want to die, its a morbid thought to say the least. I get this thought like "If I'm going to spend my life worrying about something like this, I may as well end it now" or "If it were to happen I cannot bear to think of all the suffering, I just want to die now to get it over with" THESE THOUGHTS ARE SCARING ME! I don't really want to die, but part of me feels almost numb to death, I feel accepting of it, yet I just hate the thought of some big catastrophe happening that will end life on Earth as I know it...I just wish I wasn't afraid of such uncontrollable things.
It gets so bad during some points that I feel like I just want to die, its a morbid thought to say the least. I get this thought like "If I'm going to spend my life worrying about something like this, I may as well end it now" or "If it were to happen I cannot bear to think of all the suffering, I just want to die now to get it over with" THESE THOUGHTS ARE SCARING ME! I don't really want to die, but part of me feels almost numb to death, I feel accepting of it, yet I just hate the thought of some big catastrophe happening that will end life on Earth as I know it...I just wish I wasn't afraid of such uncontrollable things.