Lymphoma/Throat Cancer/HIV scare

[tastetheqwerty]

I've been suffering from health anxiety for nearly a month now. Let me start chronologically.

August of 2014 I suddenly felt a pea-sized lymph node on the right side of my neck. Being in first year med school, I asked one of my doctor professors if it was normal. He said it's just an inflamed node and would shrink in a couple of days. It didn't.

Around the end of November 2014 I noticed that my tongue was white. I spent the whole month brushing my tongue every time I brushed my teeth. It didn't go away.

First week of January 2015 I decided to search the internet for possible diagnoses for my symptoms. I found that I might have oral thrush (Candida) due to being immuno-compromised. I started to freak out. I couldn't stop looking up diseases that could be associated with it an I kept seeing the terms HIV, Lymphoma, and Throat Cancer. My hypochondria began.

2nd week of Jan, I was touching the underside of my jaw and felt another slightly larger node. It made my paranoia worse.

Last week, I was looking for more nodes on my neck an found 2 on the left side next to each other. I felt like breaking down. I decided to see an ENT specialist. She palpated my neck and even found another one near the back of my ear. She checked my throat with an endoscope and said my throat was "phlegmy". She told me that I have an infection in my throat that's possibly stress-related because of being in medical school and prescribed me with antibiotics (Clarythromycin 2x a day for 7 days). She even had me get a chest xray to rule out pulmonary TB which I did and shwed normal lungs, heart, etc.
I also asked about my tongue and she said that i had a "dry tongue" and told me to use a tongue scraper and prescribed me with an oral antiseptic. (I haven't gotten to do any of these yet)

3 nights ago, I decided to search my body for more nodes. I felt more on my inguinal (groin) area. 5 on the right and 1 on the left. I couldn't sleep then. The thoughts of lymphoma and hiv ran through my head multiple times.

Today I took the last tablet of antibiotics but I could still feel my nodes and I'm not sure if they shrunk or not but they're still there. Paranoia intensified.

I felt the entirety of my neck a few hours ago and I found a large one on the far right side by my laryngeal prominence (adam's apple).

Now I can't stop worrying that my white tongue was misdiagnosed and I could still be infected with HIV or metastasis of throat cancer or lymphoma. I'm going back to the doctor's tomorrow.

[popejoan]

Hello welcome to the forum. I'm so sorry you're feeling this way.
I had all the fears you've been having and more. About hiv, there is no need to be stressed about it, its test is accurate, there is no misdiagnosis in it and you can get your results in 5 mins. You don't have it, but we all get stressed about it when we have flu like symptoms because we have HA.
You said you are a first year med student. I'm sure it has a huge effect on your HA, it is very common for med students to have it. There was another student here, he was writing his dissertation about a nasty neurological disease and convinced himself he has it.
I have 2-3 lymph nodes swollen in my right groin. I had a huge fear of lymphoma and convinced I have it. I'm also itchy without a rash and for me it confirmed that I have it. I saw two doctors about it and one said lymph nodes are more prominent in thin people like you. Are you thin? Have you seen a doctor about it? Swollen lymph nodes don't mean lymphoma. They swell all the time.
About your tongue, it very well can be just a dry mouth, which is a common symptom of anxiety. Mine was like that too, I'm a little bit nature freak so I started buying natural mouthwashes from holland and barret and that white coating on my tongue dissapeared. Hope this could help and hope you feel better soon.

[tastetheqwerty]

I'm too scared to get an HIV test but I'm building up all my courage to get it done.

Yes I am and always have been skinny. What do you mean by "Have you seen a doctor about it"? About my weight/body figure or my nodes? Cause I just had my check up last week about my lymph nodes on my first post. Sorry I'm just confused.

And my tongue was white before having anxiety which is why it's still unnerving to see it everyday for two months.

Thank you so much for spending time to read and actually reply to my ramblings. I just can't shake off the feeling that there actually is something wrong with me.

[popejoan]

Sorry I confused you, I mean did you see a doctor about your lymph nodes apart from asking your professor.
I know you're too scared but I had it too and you can see if it's negative or positive in just seconds and then you can forget about it.
I know you've been suffering from HA for a short time, I'm the same, mine started 5 months ago but I've always been a worrier. Been diagnosed with OCD 10 years ago, and than GAD and social anxiety. Is it the case for you or you didn't have any kind of anxiety before your HA started?
You are welcome, this is what we do here, just help and support each other :)

[tastetheqwerty]

The time I asked the professor was months ago.
I decided to get a check up with a clinical doctor last week so yes I went to our University's health services and they referred me to an ENT doctor.

I never really had any severe form of anxiety before all these. I mean I get anxious when I'm the centre of attraction in front of a crowd of strangers like public speaking and all but that's the worst that it gets before the HA.

I'm sorry about your OCD and anxiety disorders. Did you see a therapist about it?

[popejoan]

Yes I did and my OCD is pretty much in control now, I just learned how to live with it. It gets worse with my anxiety though. I will start cbt soon about health anxiety and looking forward to it.
For 5 months I've convinced myself I have almost all types of cancer, and some neurological disorders, now I'm convinced I have another neurological disease and it's really ruining my life at the moment. Finally got a referral to a neurologist but I know I'm gonna have to wait for months before seeing one. I stopped being scared of cancer since I've started being scared of this disease (can't even type its name) and now I can look at cancer in a more rational way.

Right now, you are doing your best, you've seen a doctor and been referred to an ENT specialist, what else can you do? I know right now you need reassurance but sometimes we have to just wait. If the lymph nodes don't go down you will have further tests.

I'm the same my lymph nodes haven't gone down and I will see my doctor tomorrow. She'll probably send me for an ultrasound and all I can do is wait at the moment.

You can do something about your HIV fears though, I'm sure you don't have it but it's always good to be tested for stis.

[paul78]

White tounge is may be coused by smoking and people whith thick silvia also have this type tounge.are u chain smoker?

[tastetheqwerty]

Update:
I went to see my doctor again to check up on the large ones on my neck. She felt them and had me get an ultrasound for suspicious cervical lymphadenopathy.

So I did the ultrasound (which was scary 'cause it was my first time to get one) and waited an hour for the results. I was so anxious the whole hour. I even tried to distract myself by studying so I opened the e-book on my tablet and guess what page it was on. The page about lymph nodes. I was like "Well ain't this swell (pun intended)". Back to the story.

Results came and interpretation included "normal thyroid gland", "no lymphadenopathy" and "no mass". Everything was normal.

Went back to the doctor and she told me that it's probably just an enlarged blood vessel and I shouldn't really worry since nothing came up on the ultrasound and I have no other symptoms. I just got prescribed serrapeptase which is a food supplement to help reduce swellings.

In my head I was all like "WTF are you kidding me I can feel two ****ing marbles there why is it there blood vessels arent supposed to be spherical what is going on gaaaaah" but outside I was all calm and shit.

Is it possible that they have missed something? I mean the physician who took my ultrasound even asked me to point the areas of concern on my neck.

*I also found out that my doctor is a medical professor at our university. We got our ENT course next school year. Oh I can't wait to see her at school and have her judge me for being one of her patients. Ha

[popejoan]

Always believe in tests :) And congratulations, it's great news. I think you should leave this fear behind and move on, you are fine.
I just wanted to ask, did all these happen in one day? I mean you saw the doctor and had the ultrasound in one day?

[tastetheqwerty]

Yeah. Sonogram results only took an hour cause I was like the only patient who needed an ultrasound today so I just did all of it the whole day. My doctor's clinic hours are from 9-5.

Thanks. Yeah I know. Even the doctor told me I was being paranoid over nothing.

All I need to accomplish now is getting an HIV test.

[popejoan]

Wow great, I just came back from doctor and she said I have to wait another 2 weeks and then maybe she'll send me for an ultrasound, I don't know how long I have to wait for that! Just taking forever.
I'm sure it will be negative and then I think you need to work on your anxiety, mine is out of control now and I don't like seeing other people following the same path :)

[hanshan]

Hi Tastetheqwerty,

Most med school students suffer a massive case of health anxiety at some stage - it goes with the territory. You are being trained to find malignancy from the slightest sign. How can you not apply this to yourself?

Well, the answer is, first, you are most likely young and healthy. Second, you are bombarded with potentially serious problems that most people don't even know about, so it's reasonable for you to think that some may apply to you.

Enjoy the fact that you are young and healthy - your work will bring you into contact with many who are not.

[tastetheqwerty]

@popejoan: I hope you find resolution. I doubt you're sick and your anxiety has gotten the best of you. I know it's difficult to ignore your symptoms but try to distract yourself once you find out you have nothing. Do not revert back to being a worrywart . I, too, am going to try it for myself.

@hanshan: Thanks. I'll try to enjoy life and not dwell on these stupid thoughts of dying. I'm trying to become the doctor not the patient.

[popejoan]

Thank you, I think you'll be a great doctor. Now you know our side of the story so you will approach your patients with empathy.

[tastetheqwerty]

Health anxiety doesn't really go away does it? I still can't move on.

The fact that I know and can still feel that something there is enough to keep me anxious. Even if the ultrasound showed nothing I still feel worried because I have no definitive answer as to what this lump is.

I have a practical exam tomorrow and I can't focus.
I hate this so much.

[popejoan]

I know what you mean, I'm the same, definitely.
Wouldn't the ultrasound show if it was something sinister? Your problem is anxiety, not the lump. It's not done with you until you're done with it. Don't focus on the lump, focus on your anxiety and make steps to get better.
I have this lump on my shin, it's a very weird one. It's not there when my muscle is relaxed but is there when I flex my muscle.
I saw two doctors and a nurse and they had no idea what it was, I saw my GP and than an oncologist. Finally an ultrasound confirmed it was a muscle hernia. Totally harmless. I worried over it for a long time and it had an effect on my HA to start.
Sometimes lumps just appear and you don't have to know what it is exactly as long as you know it's nothing sinister. Your ultrasound confirmed it's nothing sinister.

[tastetheqwerty]

Well I'm glad you got to find out what it was.
All I got was "probably just a blood vessel" which is very unlikely since blood vessels aren't shaped that way unless there's an aneurysm which is something that should not be dismissed.

Before taking the ultrasound, the ENT doctor even had the decency to tell me that the most probable next step after the ultrasound was a biopsy. And then completely dismissing it after looking at black-and-white smudges on smooth paper. Like why even tell me that if she didn't think it was suspicious in the first place?

[popejoan]

But they told you it's nothing serious right? You're totally ignoring this side of it.

[Distressed]

How strange, I am going through pretty much the exact same symptoms you are. It started with a sore throat but then I started feeling these glands around my neck. As I started feeling more and more, I started to worry. The same kinds of illnesses you are afraid of started to run through my mind.

3 months later the glands are still up, but I have been assured that it's 'just a sore throat' . But like you, the doctors are completely not worried, and didn't even refer me. It is a HA issue I am still struggling with, but my concern is dying down now. You just have to ignore that little voice telling you that the doctors have missed the problem.

[tastetheqwerty]

@popejoan: Well, I'm not really ignoring it but instead I'm taking it as incompetence on their part? You know how HA works. You'll almost always see unclear things negatively.

@Distressed: Good to hear you moving on. I surely can't. Did your swellings shrink down or have you accepted them as a normal part of your body now?

[Distressed]

I still have them. I am expecting them to go away at some point, but am much less worried about them. In any case, there are no signs of them being caused by anything serious.

[tastetheqwerty]

Trying to keep a clear head. Major examinations next week and the last thing I need to be thinking about is this. Hope I make it. Thanks for the sympathies.

[hanshan]

Don't forget dissociation of anxiety - anxiety about one thing (eg exams) makes you anxious about other things (eg health - and vice versa).

Good luck with the exams.