View Full Version : having a bad day
i hate this mental health.today i decided to try and be possitive by getting up early and goto the jib center and my dropin center.i walked first to the dropin center,but when i got there i felt i wish i wasnt there.i felt really depressed and high anxiety all the time.after being there for a couple of hrs i left for the job center.i went through all the jobs and could find anything for me.this made me more depressed.iv been out of work for 5 years now and cant see a way forward.i have so many worries on my mind all the time and my anxiety is making everything worse.im now walking back to my flat where i will be alone again and feel i have no way out of this hell in my head.iv really had enough now.years of this and today its heavy and harder than ever.iv had suecide thoughts and just dont want to be hear anymore iv had it with this crap every day of my life.i feel no joy no love no laughter no happenes at all.im down in a big bloody hole on my own...no friends no money and a lonely boring life..whats the point.i have no one to turn to
Dear Gregcool, I know how it feels. I was looking for my current job 3 years. What I want to tell you is that it can get better. When your time is not occupied with anything and you don't feel useful it's difficult to feel good. But keep on searching. It's good that you haven't given up on looking for work, I'm sure that at some point it will appear and you will have some routine. It really helps in greeting better.
Also, I know that people on the internet are not the same as real friends, but they can help and also be a nice company. Try to make best out of the forum. Hugs!
Job centres are depressing places :( Greg have you contacted the crisis team again? If not I think you should before you slip any further down.
:hugs::hugs::hugs:
Job centres are depressing places :( Greg have you contacted the crisis team again? If not I think you should before you slip any further down.
:hugs::hugs::hugs:
Yes Jobcentres are depressing places. My one just said "all the jobs are online now" and handed me this piece of paper to search for the jobs myself!
Like you Greg I then had to walk all the way home 2 miles as they do not give bus fares if you are not further away.
It seems to me the people get paid for very little and are just whiling their time away not caring if we ever get jobs or not. This is the case, of course as they are having to do mandatory interviews for ESA.
I never go to the jobcentre unless I have to attend an interview which is every 4 or so months.
fox thanks for your advice.the job hunting is crap so much want to be working and out of my flat for the day.so hard to find one tho.i will keep looking but my self esteam is a 0 ..it just feels like im never going tofind one.im bored and fed up all day just sitting around in the flat the hrs just drsg and with no company its very isolating and lonely.annie im still waiting for a phone call assment that the doctor has put forward for me.i should have heard by now?so im going back to my doctors tom to find out why i havnt had the csll yet...just fed up with my crap life....
Have you thought about doing some voluntary work? It will get you out of the house and meet people. It will also give you some structure to your week. Look on the web for ideas. Having that on your CV will also look good to future employers.
Hi Gregcool,
I am sending you some big hugs from Canada-listen honey-you are not alone -you have all of us on NMP!
I have been there and I can relate to what you're experiencing-it is horrible isn't it?
I know how excruciating painful it is to stare at the wall for hours-it is soul destroying.
Cherryade has a good idea-maybe volunteer-that's what I did.
I was housebound for almost two years (and therefore unemployed and completely isolated in a rural house) and the only thing that got me out of it was forcing myself to volunteer at an animal shelter.
I felt I couldn't let all those critters at the shelter down by not going-so it forced me to do something.
It was a start.
You are a valuable member of society with so much to share-don't ever doubt that.
thanks guys for your support.im looking into vol work tomorow.just hard being possitive.iv even looked on dating websites but cant find any that are free.they all want £15-20 per month which i cant aford.does anyone know any free dating sites i could try.i think id be less stressed if i had someone in my life again
I have sent you some links Greg.
Spring will soon be here and hopefully things won't seem so depressing. We are forecast snow today and I woke up to hailstones banging on the windows :(
thanks guys...ill look into them latter....snow anie hope we dont get it hear...i want the spring weather now.
There's one called Freedating I met my husband on there!!!
thanks ill check it out..
Greg, I know how you feel. It is very demoralising I know.
When I resigned 6 years ago from the hospital due to my mental health/stress issues, I signed on for a while. I didn't even last 6 months, because I felt demoralised, depressed, humilated when I was in there - they treat people like dirt, and usually the ones who have actually PAID taxes for years before - and just want to get you off their books, not really help you in the way you need helping. They kept pushing and hassling me back to nursing, even though I told them this wasn't an option, any jobs I approached them about, they told me not to bother as I was 'overqualified!!!!!!' I couldn't win. I couldn't take it, as it was just making me feel even worse about myself. I was lucky though, and I know this. I live with my Mum and Dad, and whilst they don't support me, they do allow me to live rent free. I just have to pay for my own needs, as it were - food, pay my Mum some money for household stuff, pay my credit card, etc.
I signed off and decided to try to make my own money. I now buy and sell clothing via ebay. I dont make a load of money, but I get by. I also now have some sense of purpose and achievement. That is very important for us. I also feel happier and less anxious, as I have a little control back. I think that when our lives seem so overwhelming and everything seems pointless, it is very hard.....but you can get through this, believe that. It is hard to keep on going sometimes, I know, especially when you just keep getting disappointed, but each day brings new hope. I know that sounds cheesy, but it does. You really never know what is around the corner or may come your way.
Don't give up! :hugs:
Try and get some routine into your life - that may help a bit so when you get up in the morning you know it's Monday or Wed and the day for the job centre, maybe Thursday and the day for shopping, Friday the day you treat yourself to coffee in the little café, Sunday the day for a walk in the park etc. Routine is not always a bad thing and it does help to focus on rather than another empty day stretching ahead and you don't know how to fill it. Certainly look into the volunteering thing - I don't know if you live in a city or not but there should be lots of opportunities around.
very interesting story debs.im glad it all worked out for you.that was good your parents alowed you to live rent free very suportive of them.sounds like you are doing well now with your ebay stuff.well done..cherryade thanks for your advice im looking into vol work trying to get something sorted.i deff need some kind of routen and structure in my life i cant go on with the life im living,just getting up every day with nothing to do.fingers crossed ill find something real soon
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