Advise please

[yorkylover]

Hi,Im having a few problems at work.
I work a few hours in the evening cleaning.I work with another woman but we dont work together,I do downstairs part of the building,she does up.She keeps coming up to me a talking about her problems.I used to enjoy going to work to get away from problems at home,but now Im getting so agitated and stressed before I go,and while Im working as I know shes going to come and give me her life story.She is also one of these people whos not happy unlesss shes moaning about something.She finds problems at work.I started going in a little later and finishing later,but its not working,she hangs around when shes finished and talks.
I dont know how to approach the situation.I dont want to involve the manager.I just dont have the confidence to tell her face to face.Its making me ill.I just want to do my job and go home.
I have been in that job about 11 years,shes been there about 4.
The reception staff hate her,all off them,where she stires so much trouble.Any advise would be appreciated.HELP!!!!!!!!!!!:(

Ellen XX

[Granny Primark]

Hi Ellen,

What a difficult dilemma you have.
I dont think theres any other way to solve the problem than to tell her straight. Tell her that you too have problems to cope with but that you enjoy your job and the break that it gives you from your own worries. Tell her your sorry but at the moment you cant cope with the added pressures of someone elses worries.
Other than that just tell her to SOD OFF!!! lol

Take care
LYNN xx

[honeybee3939]

Hi Ellen

I used to work with someone like that also, when she used to go on about her problems, i used to change the subject quickly, she soon realised i wasnt interested and stopped hassling me.
Like Lyn says you dont need the added stresses.

Hope you can work things out Ellen

Love

Andrea
xxx

"If you have a worry turn it into a problem, you cant solve worrys but you can solve problems"

[manmoor]

Hi Ellen,

Aww hun thats no good. You so don't need to have to listen to her and her problems. I agree with Andrea I'd change the subject when she starts to waffle. Aww hugs for you Ellen. xxx

Take Care

Mandyxx

[yorkylover]

Thanks,I just dont have the bottle.But If I dont do something soon it will come to a point where I will explode and tell her to sod off!!!!!!!!
I thought about doing a letter and explaining how I feel.I start counselling thursday,maybe that will help me get more confident.Its not that I dont want to listen,my little job is my escape from my problems at home,its my space,if you know what I mean.I dont get any hassel there apart from her moaning!!!!!!and going on & on & on!:(:(:(

Ellen XX

[kittykat]

hi ellen,

I agree with what everyone 's been saying so far, its just so hard to deal with your own probs without the added stress of this, try to change the subject or make up some excuse that you've got to go and hopefully she'll get the hint , apart from that im afraid you'll have to just tell her straight hun for your own sake and sanity. I'll be thinking of you. You can do it.

Take care , and let us know how you go

shirley xx

'' I am an optimist, but I'm an optimist who carries a raincoat. '' - Harold Wilson

[samc100]

Can you wear a walkman and pretend to be too absorbed in that when she approaches.

Or as the others suggest when she appears smile sweetly and say sorry but you must get on with it tonight but hope she's ok.

[yorkylover]

My partner said about wearing a walkman,but its a dr surgery and sometimes the staff and drs are about so its a bit difficult.I will sort something out,Im off to work soon so it looks like another night of thinking in my head" why dont you sod off"!!!! instead of being brave and saying it nicely.I never thought someone could get on your nerves so much it makes you feel so crap.:(:(

Ellen XX

[Melina]

Hi Ellen
I think your own idea of writing a letter is a great idea if you are not feeling up to telling her (to be honest, I wouldnt be able to in that sort of situation either). when my step mums son was having difficulties with a next door neighbour he wrote a letter, he was so anxious about how the neighbour would react but the neighbour didnt realise how much he was offloading onto him, and was really apologetic

i think that some people can be so wrapped up in themselves they are totally obilvious to others reactions/feelings, you have to almost knock them over the head to get their attention & make them realise

[matilda]

Is there someone you can talk to at work and get them to say they have noticed you two chatting a lot and can you stop, as if its both your faults. That way you dont feel guilty and if she comes up you can say look i dont want to get into trouble!!!

[groovygranny]

Hello Ellen! Yeeew, bit of a sticky one this?!

I can totally understand you not wanting to be anti-social but at the same time not ready to give her your time because of your own probs.

Why don't you suggest she sign up to NMP and we can all help her, and therefore you, at the same time by getting her to 're-direct' her energies?!!! Just a suggestion.

lotsa luv

GG [:P]

xx

'There are no such things as strangers; just friends we haven't made yet!'