Hello im new :) i have agrophobia and anxiety :(

[MarcusD]

Hello there and thank you for reading my thread. My name is Marcus and am a 23 year old from Southampton. I found this website by pure chance and what a nice website it is full of great information. Ok best i explain my situation

I first encounterd panic attacks about two years ago now. I finnished college after obtaining a Distinction in GNVQ Advanced media studies, which was the best grade at my college. I decided to take a year out having been in education since i was 4yrs old and go traveling around the world with my firends for a year. We all got a job together and started saving up for the dream holiday and everything was great. I was even accepted into Sunderland Uni to study Film as i am planning to be a film director, Sunderland is the best uni in europe for film as its sponsored by sony entertainment. I had never been so happy and felt life was perfect. I had looks, friends, a wicked sense of humour and a future i had worked hard to forge how did it all go so wrong? lol literally.
THE BAD SIDE

So i was preparing to go away with my friends and i recall going into a shop to buy something and there was a huge que but i decided id que anyway. I started to feel un-easy and kinda sweaty as if i was going to faint or something . I just had a horrible feeling over come me and didnt know what was happening and naturally felt frrightened. So i got outa there as quick as i could lol. I got home and lay on my bed thinking about what was happening to me and as you can imagine my mind was all over the place wondering what it could be. I finally worked it out that i was having a panic attack and it was the worst thing i ever encounterd in my life. After a few weeks this feeling kept appearing out of nowhere for apparently no-reason and i didnt know how to stop it!! It started to feel bad to go outside coz i knew that if i went outside id most likley have another one and its natural instinct to try and avoid pain isnt it.
So i had to quit my job and didnt tell my friends what was happening as i didnt know what to say. In my mind i hoped it would disapear after awhile and i could continue my job and go traveling.
It started to get worse and became so bad that i withdrew from my social life completly as i felt ashamed of myself and didnt know why, i was and am a very socialble person and am very fortunate to have a vast amount of friends, id go clubing most weekends and spend all my free time with my mates, but after telling them so many i cant goes or im not available tonight i just felt awful with myself and decided to tell them the truth about what was happening. Fourtunatly they understood and that my prediction of them thinking i was a freak or something lol was indeed wrong. So i explained to them and they then went off on the trip for a year and i thought i have this time to get better and i will.
So after seeing my doctor which was extremly hard i started taking seroxotine which just made me feel really bad and major depressed, i started to question why this was happening to me as i didnt think i deserved it and all the bitter thoughts i was having aimed at myself wernt helping. So after awhile i didnt think i was improving and if anything started to feel worse so decided not to continue my medication and see if i can make myself better by forcing myself into the situations my body (not mind) seemed afraid of, but every single time i do its just the same secnario over and over and the panic attacks resume and forces me to retreat back to my home. Its a never ending predicament.
So my friends return and we prepare to set off for uni and im happy again and my depression seems to have gone and to this day it seems to still be gone. But the day i arrive at uni at sunderland which is 9hrs away from where i live i setlle in and meet my room mates and there all really nice and i feel glad i came, then that night when un-packing it starts to set in again and i have the worse panic attack of my life!! The feeling of being so far away from anyone i truley know or anyone i care about just takes hold of me and before i

[PAULF]

Hi marcus, im paul, aged 25, suffer from anxiety, have done for the past couple of months. It comes and goes, its a pain in the backside when it hits you!

I can relate to your story. My mum and dad are away at the moment, my sister has gone on holiday and yesterday it hit home that everyone was so far away, and low on behold i had an anxiety attack and the "what if" thoughts.

You have come to the right place, this website will certainly help you, eveyone is really friendly.

Sounds like you have made progress, so keep your chin up and we will all support each other!

Take Care

Paul

[MarcusD]

Thanx for your post paul thats really reasuring to know there are good people such as yourself still out there hehe, its good having people to relate to as i havent really ever met anyone else before who suffers the same as me, i realise a vast amount of people do tho which is quite sad isnt it.

supporting each other is a good thing as im sure if anyone is ever feeling down they can get friendly advice and a warm welcome here

so its good to feel welcome and thank you for your kind words [^]

[Meg]

Hi Marcus,

I finally worked it out that i was having a panic attack and it was the worst thing i ever encounterd in my life. Well done for figuring it out for yourself and Yes it does feel terrible . We've all been there.

After a few weeks this feeling kept appearing out of nowhere for apparently no-reason Your body and mind had learnt that if it did this then you took notice and eventually you learn the fear of the fear cycle and then started to self perpetuate them by associating symptoms and thoughts.

The feeling of being so far away from anyone
Several times you've written feeling when you really mean ' thought' . You are a very creative and sensitive person and its great that you are in touch with your feelings but :

All feelings are created by thought.

You feel happy because ....

Energy follows thought

You feel upset because ..

i could just get rid of it I wish . It is very getoverable but it will take hard work and perserverence .

Stick around here a while to ask, learn and implement some techniques..

What are you doing day to day now . Are you with your parents ?

Take a peek at these :

Lets try to keep our thoughts in perspective (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=283)
First Steps to overcoming Panic and Anxiety (http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=942)










Meg

Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind.
If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.
Robert Albert Bloch

[sal]

Hi Marcus

Sorry to hear you have had such a hard run of things and especially as you feel your doctor isnt very understanding.

It must have been so hard for you been away from home with how you had been suffering and a hard knock back for you to take not doing you course.

Are there any further opportunities for you to go back into it once you are starting to feel more confident. Could that be something really positive to give you the strength to give it a finally go.

I hope you are getting on ok and i do hope you manage to improve so you can try again. I know it will be very hard for you but you sound so keen and dedicated to that maybe another go would be worth it.



Love Sal xxxxx

[HB]

Hiya marcus, sounds like you've been doing it tough... this is exactly the right place for you to be.... I too suffer from panic and anxiety which i know, is the most terrible feeling but hang in there... have you thought of trying some relaxation techniques and if they fail.. going to see a doctor who can refer you on to a specialist?

H

[Karen]

Hi Marcus

Welcome to the forum. It sounds like you've been having a tough time of it lately.

I am sure you will find loads of helpful advice and support here.

Briary

[tina]

hi marcus, my name is tina i suffer with panic attack and agoraphobia if u would like to chat just email me im always here on line bye

[pyramid]

morning, well i'm glad i'm not the only one, many people have no idea of how panic attacks effect people. I myself have epilepsy which seemed to be a trigger that started my panic attacks and they happen any time any place and anywhere. as soon as i feel mt heart starts racing i think oh no here we go, not now not again.

[Meg]

Hey Pyramid,

This is more what I was looking for from your other post....

I hope your epilepsy is now well controlled . It is a common cause of panic starting - after all - fitting in itself is a very scary occurance .

So your heart starts racing as a result of you being scared you might have a fit or a panic attack or both ?






Meg

Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind.
If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.
Robert Albert Bloch

[jollywalrus]

Hi Marcus,
I'm Christine and I live in Eastleigh, which you will recognise at once I know!

I just wanted to let you know that I have been exactly like you and it is possible to come out the other side. We have very good mental health support here and a Mental Health Unit you can walk in to on spec and speak to the duty psychiatric nurse who can get you help. I have also attended a very good anxiety management course which was very helpful.

It is hard work getting through anxiety and unfortunately means putting yourself in the situations you fear most. There are some wonderful people on this site who have helped me through some very bad days and never thought me stupid, even though I have had days when I have run out of shops like a mad woman!!

You are already on the way to getting better!

Best wishes,
Christine

[stimpy]

I remember when Sunderland Uni was called Sunderland polytechnic.[:P]

I'm Liz (now 32) and I am originally from Chester-le-Street (along the A183 from Sunderland).

I've been an a member of the Agrophobic and Anxiety Club for about a year.

I can totally relate to how you feel about the shame.
I felt (and sometimes still feel) usless and worthless.
It does help when you have people you can talk to and who are able to understand you. You are very fourtunate that your friends have been supportive.

Being able to laugh and smile again is a wonderful start. Well done.

You haven't done anything to deserve the loving attention of Mr Panic.

I think, from what you have said, it is your bodies way of telling you to rest. You have worked and studied hard, got good grades.
And now your brain is saying whoa! I wanna break.

You will get over this.
It will take time and slow small steps.
But we are all behind you every step of the way.

Remember if it is good enough for Jeremy from the League of Gentlemen to be Agrophobic there is no reason why we should be embarrassed by it. [^]

Good luck hun and hang in there.





Love, light and Best wishes
Liz xxx
With hard work and determination and all the things you know.
The world is there for you to take. There's nowhere you can't go.


[:p]Scatty Eccentric & 'Poet Laureate to panic and anxiety'