New Here - Intro and What's Up

[bin tenn]

Hi everyone. I'm new here. 27 almost 28 year old male, United States. I've suffered from panic/anxiety attacks and an anxiety driven mind for roughly 11 or 12 years. Only within the past 4 or so years did it really turn into Health Anxiety.

In the past few years I've been convinced that I have: brain cancer/tumor (my first ever health fear), lung cancer, testicular cancer, all types of common skin cancer, lymphoma, leukemia, oral cancer, heart attacks, atrial fibrillation, and more.

What have I told myself as far as why I may have health anxieties:

Number 1: Guilty. Simple as that. I haven't stayed on top of regular doctor or dentist visits since I was 18, so almost 10 years. I've had a few dental visits, but not as often as I should. I've had 2 or 3 ER visits (once for strep throat, and a couple others for stomach bugs). But aside from that, I haven't had a routine doctor visit/checkup/exam in over 10 years. I believe my anxieties may very well be due to feeling guilty. Like I have something wrong with me and it's too far to be treated because I neglected my health.

Number 2: A dream that always stuck with me, and I had it when I was a teenager -- probably 12 or 13 years ago. In the dream, my mom told me that a sibling had cancer. The worst part: she said "cancer is contagious, you need to go get checked." Since my health anxieties really began a few years ago, I think of that dream and I think "what if that was a sign, and I've neglected it?" Seriously?! Yeah, right. Like I'd have cancer for over 10 years with zero treatment, right? Haha!

I have some tiny blister-like bumps inside my bottom lip right. They're recurring. They are likely due to irritation from the fact that I bite my cheeks and lips especially when anxious. But oral cancer fears linger in the back of my mind. Especially because I'm a smoker.

Mostly just wanted to say hi, introduce myself, give a little background. I'll be as active as I can here. Hopefully I can help others, and I'll be able to find help for myself as well.

:)

[popejoan]

Hi Bin tenn,

Welcome to the forum. You will find help and support here. From what I read I think we are similar. I have that guilt and some OCD thoughts like something bad's gonna happen.

I'm going through a terrible MND fear at the moment and I've never been this scared in my life so you're not alone.

Did you need to get checked? Did you have any health issues and you avoided seeing a doctor? If not, you shouldn't feel guilty.

I would recommend you to stop smoking. Not only is it bad for your health but also it is bad for your anxiety, so is drinking.

Welcome again and I hope you feel better soon.

[bin tenn]

Hi Bin tenn,

Welcome to the forum. You will find help and support here. From what I read I think we are similar. I have that guilt and some OCD thoughts like something bad's gonna happen.

I'm going through a terrible MND fear at the moment and I've never been this scared in my life so you're not alone.

Did you need to get checked? Did you have any health issues and you avoided seeing a doctor? If not, you shouldn't feel guilty.

I would recommend you to stop smoking. Not only is it bad for your health but also it is bad for your anxiety, so is drinking.

Welcome again and I hope you feel better soon.

Thanks, popejoan. No, I didn't have any medical issues that I just "let go" and refused to be checked. I just obsess over every little sensation, and I tend to try and "self diagnose", which obviously isn't the way to go.

I used to Google like crazy. I've avoid Google for the past few months and it's helped, but I do occasionally still slip and look things up. Of course, when I do, it often sends my mind into a deeper state of anxiety.

I know I need to quit smoking. I don't drink often at all. Maybe once a month, no more than 3 or 4 light beers. However, after my lady and I went out this past weekend and had our usual few light drinks, I realized the next day that I felt more anxious than usual, and that seems to be common in people with anxiety. So I plan to avoid alcohol completely and see how things turn out from there.

Considering the fact that I'm a smoker, I must say that overall I feel quite healthy. I don't really have any issues breathing, no chronic pain. I get occasional headaches, but I work on a computer, and my eyeglasses probably need an updated prescription. I've almost completely eliminated caffeine. Only truly bad habit I have is smoking. I get occasional pains here and there, but they never really concern me as they don't last long at all, and they aren't very frequent.

[popejoan]

It's good that you can avoid google. It is very very important. I could avoid google for a little more than a week and I started checking my body and doing strength tests less and less everyday and I started feeling almost normal last week.

However, for the first time in 5 months, I drank too much on Saturday and I had the worst hangover the following day and guess what? My health anxiety came back with vengeance.

I just opened a thread about this here. It is very important for us to stay away from alcohol.

[bin tenn]

That's what I've been told many times. I think it's never been an issue for me because I drink very little when I do drink. But at the same time, even a little bit can be a big problem. So I'm trying to avoid it altogether.