Missing

[elik]

Hi
I just need some advice regarding a break up. I broke up with my boyfriend nearly a month ago and I can't cope. Every day is painful and dull, like nothing matters no matter how 'fun' a situation is because he is not there. I love him unconditionally and have not spoken to him at all for over three weeks and feel dead inside. I have never been so close to someone to now feel so far away. I am honouring his space and am hoping but not expecting reconciliation. Nothing means anything without him, I have an ache in me constantly of deep miss and regret and nothing I can do will take it away. I have improved on myself and been busy and worked on being happy and independent on my own but that still doesn't do anything to fill the hole that is left from him. I feel like he is irreplaceable which I know no one is but I'm loyal andI don't give up on people that easily. I love him unconditionally.

Ellie

[claireypoo]

Hi

I have felt like that a few times. It's very hard. It's like a grieving process I think, grieving for the life you planned too.

All I can say is it will get better with time. I know it doesn't feel like it now.

Big hugs

Claire
X

[debs71]

I second what Claire says.

It does get easier with time. When I split with my first boyfrend many years ago, I was devastated. He cut things off without talking with me or anything. One minute we were together, the next not. No rhyme or reason. I felt like I couldn't imagine my life without him in it, and didn't want to. I went a long, long time still thinking things would be ok, and we would get back together, but it never happened.

At frist, these things are like a fresh wound - very sore and painful, and we can't see ourselves feeling any better than we do now, but I promise you that things do feel better with time. The more time passes, the easier it gets. xxx

[elik]

Thanks, I understand that what both of you said is right and everyone on the whole goes through this, but it's almost like I want to be miserable rather than let it go? Why is it still as severe as it was from day one and it's now been a month? I have so many things unanswered, so much doubt in my head and everything hurts every second of every day and I am wishing time away so it will stop. As I can't go to him for reassurance I wind up blaming myself as I can't get my head round it. I know no one needs anyone but honest to god I can hardly breathe without him. I have been proactive but it seems pointless like I am living a lie. I am fully put off of relationships, I simply cannot handle vulnerability and this pain and the healing process that is eating away my life.