Can't stop crying and panicking

[Vida]

I've suffered HA for 10 years. My family doesn't believe my fears anymore. I used to have age on my side when I was younger. Now I'm 37 with a history of smoking and drinking. My recent fear started with hemmorhoids which turned into anal or bowel cancer. And now with some blood work and an abnormal lab value I realize I might have pancreatic, lung maybe ovarian cancer.
I don't think I can do this. I have a dr appr today and I know a long line of testing will start.
What if I am diagnosed with a terminal disease?
I have kids. I have a wonderful husband. Wonderful parents. A wonderful life. It's all going to be taken away. I don't know if I'll know how to cope
Before they were all symptoms without any real diagnosis. Now it's actual blood work.
How will I cope?

[Frankie123]

Hi Vida

I hope your visit to the doctors has proved less traumatic than you thought. Abnormal blood test results can be a number of things and do not show that you have cancer. You would need to have a lot more symptoms which you don't mention.

I do hope your GP has been able to put your mind at rest.

[popejoan]

Pancreatic??? Why made you think you have pancreatic cancer? It is rare and you're still too young for it. Are you yellow? Do you have pain on your abdomen and mid back? I've been there so I know how you feel but if your doctor is not worried you shouldn't be either.

[Vida]

Hi. I have developed left sided abdominal pain from ribs down and it feels like it's going toward my back. It comes and goes. I don't think I'm yellow but if I look long enough I may be. :D trying to have a sense of humor.
My doctor ordered everything under the sun. My fear is my elevated amylase which is a pancreatic enzyme. I do drink. Not loads and loads. Not hard liquor. Now my HA has me diagnosed with anal cancer, bowel cancer, pancreatic cancer and ovarian cancer. I'm a complete mess. I'm in a state right now where I think life is cruel. I look around and everyone seems ok and living normal and I think why not me and then why me? What makes me so special?

Here are my symptoms
Left side abdominal pain sometimes across upper abdomen and sometimes radiating to left side
Soft stool
Gas
Anal itch
Loss of appetite
My urine was super dark

[popejoan]

Oh hun, I feel the same today, I feel very down, my ALS fears are sky high today and I can't stop checking my hand muscles if I have any atrophy and I'm convinced I have. I totally understand you. Everyone around me is normal and for me everyday is another challenge. I feel bad when I wake up because I prefer dreaming to be awake.

I'm sure you don't have pancreatic cancer, you don't have its symptoms and if your doctor wasn't worried you shouldn't be either. Your symptoms are anxiety related and I had anal itching too, I used creams and it went away. Have you used any creams for that, I just got an over the counter cream and it worked.