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View Full Version : New here. Convinced I'm dying.



RhiannaLouiseHerbert
06-02-15, 19:55
Hey everyone! I'm new to this and it's my first ever post. Basically I'll explain my entire story. Iv suffered from health anxiety since I was 6 years old. What triggered it was my great nan died of a heart attack and it was my first ever experience of death as a child. Anyway a few weeks later I lost sight of my dad for a split second in telco.... I had my first ever panic attack but me being 6 years old assumed I was having a heart attack just like my late nan. Anyway that set me off for a few years worrying about dying, I once caught my dad crying because it was so painful seeing his little girl go through such worry! I was picking out my eyelashes etc. running up and down the hall way to ensure my heart was still beating. I got over that, I hit 17... My boyfriend broke up with me and a month later I got health anxiety again. I was put on vitals pram which didn't work for me so they changed to fluoxetine 20mg which did me well for a ew years until I decided to stop them abruptly ... I was fine for a few weeks then out of nowhere on holiday my vision went funny and I was convinced I was dying. I got a taxi back to the caravan with my boyfriend and I didn't step foot out of the caravan again all week. I was convinced I'd die. Got home. They upped my dose to 40 mg... Everything was fine... Fast forward 2 years. So 2 weeks ago I was in my boyfriends car singing along to take that when all of a sudden the headache I'd had all day came to a head and sent an almighty pain through the side of my head .. I don't know what happened but I felt as though my whole body went heavy, I felt like I could not move, my boyfriend had to stop the car , I got out and paced up and down for a bit, got back in, he had to drive me home... My heart was racing, my body felt numb, my head was weird, I just shut my eyes until I got home, I went to bed and fell straight to sleep. I was fine for the next few days but an incident happened at work... A little boy banged his head and he went limp in my arms and was just staring blankly and went pure white, I thought he was dead so I panicked and cried for hours. Fortunately he was fine. Few days later I was in prezzo with my sister and my boyfriend.... I started getting hot, eyes went funny, felt sick, exhausted, I rushed them to get the bill and as we were walking I felt like my legs were Ganna collapse beneath me I darted to the car!!! The whole time I was trying to compose myself, I've only been with this bloke 3 months and I'm embarrassed about all this! I'm scared I'm ganna die in front of him. Anyway now I'm a wreck im scared for the next time my limbs decide to go numb, I was at work earlier (luckily I work with my mum who also suffers ... Her name on here is herbie73 ) I broke down to her. I'm convinced I'm either dying of a brain tumour or pancreatic cancer. Reason for the tumour is because my right arm feels like it keeps hurting and going dead and I nearly faint and pancreatic cancer because I have drunk nearly every night for 3 years due to anxiety !!! :/ and I have a pain in my upper left abdomen!!! The doctor checked my eyes etc checked the strength in my arms blood pressure said. Was fine! But I feel like I know there's something not right with my body!!! Help its ruining my life!!!!!!

---------- Post added at 19:55 ---------- Previous post was at 19:08 ----------

Someone reply :(

Carnation
06-02-15, 20:02
Firstly, you are not alone. Everything you have described, I have experienced; like so many others on this Site. The good news is, that you could not have come to a better Forum. You will get comfort and advice on here and make Friends!
Now, listen very carefully to what I am about to say.
YOU ARE NOT DYING!
You are suffering from Anxiety. Yes, you can get better and you can control the symptoms until they disappear. :)

RhiannaLouiseHerbert
06-02-15, 21:46
But my arms, they don't feel right! :( iv had a drink and they still don't feel right! I'm also in a lot of pain. Say if it is something bad xxxxx

chloe1
06-02-15, 22:40
I really don't think you are dying. Because I feel the exact same as u everyday. I have a pain in one of my legs recently and im convinced it's cancer spreading to my leg from cervical or ovarian cancer. I am waiting for my smear test result but it's hell. I am so scared that I cry everyday and feel like it takes over my whole life. But if we both feel so similar (and I also started feeling anxious about my health very young, I was 6) then I think it must be anxiety and not actually physical. That's how I'm feeling when I read posts that sound so similar to how I feel

RhiannaLouiseHerbert
07-02-15, 14:13
Yeah true ... It's funny because when other people tell me bout their symptoms I can rationally think and know what they're feeling is just anxiety but when you're feeling it yourself the symptoms are so real it's like you're legit dying cxx

chloe1
07-02-15, 21:13
I know, and it's not like you just "think" you are dying, you really believe it. It's the worst feeling in the world. My boyfriend thinks I'm being stupid, he must think I enjoy feeling like this but it's like the whole world has stopped outside. I am so scared of dying. I am sure I am going to die very young and never see my babies grow up. But everyone thinks I'm ridiculous. Hope u are feeling ok x

RhiannaLouiseHerbert
08-02-15, 10:57
Yeah I know what you mean. I'm scared to death of losing my boyfriend he's been really good to me but i keep thinking who is going to want to be with someone who seems so miserable all the time? Then that makes me so much worse. I woke up next to him this morning and I was constantly on the brink of a panic attack!!! Xx