First Panic Attack?

[jd_uk]

Hi, would be very grateful from anyone with experience for advice on this. Right now I'm not 100% sure what I've been experiencing or why.

I'm a 31 year old male and on Saturday I was in town shopping for a christening gift for a friends baby when I had a very scary experience resulting me ending up at the accident and emergency department of the local hospital.

First a bit of background: I have had a lot of stress in work recently and life has been 100 miles per hour. My boss has been making me fight to pass my probation (I work as a project manager), suggesting that I kept needing to do more and because of this I had been both working non stop and also applying for other jobs outside of work in case things didn't work out there. I'd also been going in to work with a bit of a bad cough recently because I didn't want to take time off sick with the pressures on me.

So, the Saturday morning which this happened I had been feeling in a pretty good mood. The week leading up to it had been very stressful and busy but by Friday I seemed to have my boss and other members of my team singing my praises. My boss had complimented me (for the first time ever) about how well I had come across in a meeting with some very senior people and it seemed like my worries of passing probation were over. I felt more confident than I had done in ages. I was in a bit of discomfort though after lifting weights in the gym the week before had caused me a slightly embarrassing hemorrhoid problem. So I had a morning bath to soothe this issue, played a bit of music , got changed and then walked into town feeling pretty happy (aside from the constant dull ache which anyone who has experience hemorrhoids will be familiar with).

I had some food in a local cafe and had a chat with a friend who works there before heading to the jewellers to get this christening present. After some rushing back and forth between shops to find the best prices I got to the shop where I knew what I wanted to buy. I didn't feel particularly stressed out or tired from rushing about (I'm generally very fit as I go to the gym a lot). I paid for the gift and that is the last thing which I can clearly remember before I felt very ill.

The jewellers was inside a shopping mall/arcade and the next thing I can remember after paying was being outside in the shopping mall (around 5 metres from the jelwellers entrance) and feeling dizzy and scared. I must have told myself that I needed to go back inside the jewellers and remember that I wanted to feel like I was around people. As I walked back in I must have looked confused because the staff there who were gathered together chatting looked at me puzzled asking if i wanted anything. I didn't say anything and lingered leading to one or two of them laughing that I didn't know what I wanted before I started really feeling ill. When I say ill, I remember that my breathing was becoming laboured and i was becoming more and more dizzy. I felt like i was dying and in my mind I thought to myself that maybe this hemorrhoid (which is actually technically a blood clot underneath the skin),which was causing me so much discomfort had broken away as a clot and was causing me to have a stroke or something similar. Seconds later after lingering around the staff I told them I felt unwell and as the panic set in I asked them to call a doctor. Initially they were a bit shocked but as my breathing became more difficult, one of them went to call an ambulance. I was scared of being on my own and remember thinking that my best friend might be saying afterwards how I had died buying a present for his baby :/ I was scared of being alone while all this happened and wanted the staff to write down my parents mobile number so that they could follow me into hospital (they were shopping only 5 minutes away). One of the members of staff there sat me down and suggested that I may be having a panic attack...I told her that I'd seen a doctor this week because of this 'blood clot' - after talking to her for maybe a minute the dizziness cleared and my breathing became a bit easier. I felt silly and embarrassed and told them I was feeling better and not to call the ambulance. I stumbled outside the shop back into the shopping center and called my parents asking them to take me home. My dad asked me to breathe into a bag which I did although I'm not sure it helped and I went in and out of episodes of feeling rough and struggling to control my breath - a roller coaster ride up and down. In the end I went to the hospital to get checked out...blood pressure, tests etc...they found nothing serious.

Then the next day I was still feeling shaken and woke up in bed after a fairly normal nights sleep. I immediately felt awful again like i was in serious danger and put my clothes on and ran to the front door of the house in case I needed people to see me if I collapsed. Again, very frightening but this time it passed quicker. I ended up ringing my friend saying I couldn't go to his baby's christening which was that morning.

Later that day I wanted to get out of the house just to get my confidence up a bit but didn't want to be alone so I joined my sister and her boyfriend for a quiet drink in a bar about 100 metres up the road. I felt up and down there and generally a bit anxious/uncomfortable about whether or not anything might happen again. Eventually I asked my sister just to walk me down the stairs in the bar and home and she was going to come back and stay out - but I didn't make it home. I ended up propped up on a table downstairs and feeling completely unable to walk. For around twenty minutes I tried to stand up but just couldn't and it felt terrifying - I had people looking at me as though I was some drunk or something when I hadn't had a single alcoholic drink. My other sister came from the other side of the city in her car to pick me up and drive me home but I started really struggling to breathe in the car and feeling numbness in my fingers and also in my left arm which worried me more based on what I knew about that sort of thing and heart issues. My sisters rang the out of hours GP who advised me to go back to the hospital to get checked out as I had breathing difficulties - he said that I didn't want to mess around in case I had a blood clot on my lung or something similar. After around 7-8 hours in the hospital until the early hours of the morning, I was eventually discharged with no blood abnormalities (although my heart rate was low so they do want to do some further tests in the form of a 24 hour heart monitor soon, but said this could be because I am usually quite fit and athletic).

That was Sunday night and it is now Tuesday night. I have been off work for 2 days and expect to be off for at least another couple of days. I still don't feel right. My head feels 'pressured' and I generally don't feel right in myself - I have moments where i feel myself go a bit dizzy and panic. IN fact, just as I was writing this I felt a shooting pain in my leg and immediately wanted to close this message down so that nobody would see it if anything did happen to me.

I don't really understand what has happened. I felt so good on Saturday morning all things considered and was really quite relaxed. Then next thing I know I feel like I'm dying.

Is this my first experience of panic attacks? Or have I had a virus which is making me feel dizzy and then I panic and have some sort of attack? Right now I feel a bit scared to be alone and when my parents brought me back home last night to stay with them and we stopped at a shop on the way to get food, I didn't feel at all comfortable as they wandered off. I feel very scared about going back to work and the prospect of feeling like this there as it feels so real and out of my control. I don't want my work colleagues or anyone to see me like that. Just thinking about the prospect of work yesterday morning in bed had me feeling like an elephant was sat on my chest and like my legs were numb.

So again - is this what a first panic attack feels like or is it possible that I've been ill/had a virus which is making me feel dizzy and unwell and then I'm panicking on top of it? How do I get rid of this as I never want it to happen again.

P.s. around 2 months ago when in Amsterdam I did something really stupid and ate some weed cake thinking it would have no effect on me - actually I hadn't read the label properly and ate way too much leading to me feeling awful and panicking for around 7 to 8 hours. The feelings are similar but it is more scary knowing I haven't taken anything because at least then I knew it would ware off. I have wondered if that experience did something to mess my brain up and gave me the ability to experience true panic.

Right now I don't really know what to do. My head and eyes feel pressured and lips feel tight. I thought that I was managing the stress which I had quite well and felt great about it. I am generally a fairly confident and sociable person but right now I feel very uncertain about everything.

Any help would be very much appreciated. Sorry this post was so long.

[Brunette]

Yes, it does sound like a panic attack and while it might seem as if it has come "out of the blue", reading the beginning of your post, it's clear that it hasn't and that you have a stressful situation in your life that's underlying it.

The good news is that there is unlikely to be anything physically wrong with you and that panic attacks themselves won't hurt you. The not so good news is that you can't just wish your panic attacks away. Now your body has got your attention you will have to listen to it.

I recommend you try the following:

1. Read "Self Help for your Nerves" by Claire Weekes, it will help you understand what's going in when you have a panic attack and learn what to do about it when one happens.

2. Accept that you may feel like this for sometime, don't try to rush your recovery or get frustrated at he way you are feeling - it will make things worse.

3. If you can, do something to ease the stressful situation at work. I also recommend discussing your situation with a sympathetic person such as someone in HR. The pressure of trying to hide mental health problems can make them worse.

4. Look after yourself - get plenty of rest and plenty of sleep. Try to strike a balance in your social life so that you are not on the go all the time but also so that you also don't miss out an anything you really want to do.

5. Avoid caffeine, nicotine and other stimulants. Don't drink too much alcohol either.

Hope you feel better soon.

[wiskersonkittens]

OK...the first thing I want you to do is take a few moments and just breathe. Take a few deep breaths....breathe in a few seconds, breathe out a few seconds. While you are doing that, I'm going to talk to you. In answer to your initial question, yes, from what you have described, you did have a panic attack. There are several clues to this, and I hope by sharing them with you, perhaps next time, if there is one, you will understand more of what is going on and be able to feel more in control.
First of all, you preface this by talking about the pressures you are experiencing at work. You have been stressed and worried, thus really not taking care of yourself in the way you should. It really wasn't until you got the confirmation you needed that you were doing a good job that the stress started melting away, and you started taking better care of yourself again. The problem is the stress has built up and built up (which could also account for your hemorroids) and how it has affected you physically and emotionally needs a little bit more time to dissolve. So, the key element here is the stress you have been going through (plus the added concern of the hemorrhoids) which could be the trigger to your panic attack. They always have a trigger... some are obvious, some not so much, but thankfully, yours is.
Next, panic attacks love the element of surprise. They just love to jump out at us when we least expect it, like a monster in the darkness grabbing its unknowing and helpless victim. The symptoms are scary and intense, and your symptoms have been textbook (even the ones as dire as not feeling like you can walk). Remember, too, panic attacks last only a short time (although for us it feels like an eternity), hence why you started feeling better, especially when you felt a sense of comfort. However, the tricky thing about panic attacks is they come in waves, too. You can go through the high, feel better during the low, then at some point you will be on the high again...but when??? Those sneaky little devils like to hide in your memory or subconscience, making you literally worry when the next one will hit. That gives it all the ammunition it needs, and more than likely why you had another one. People begin to fear the panic attack, and literally become emotional slaves to it (I am a slowly recovering agoraphobic, so I know this well). It is then it becomes a disorder, and I don't want to see that happen to you.
Another way I could tell it was a panic attack was reading through your gloom and doom thoughts as you were going through it. "I'm going to die," and so forth are classic symptoms of panic thinking. We focus on the catastrophe, which is easy to do when panic engulfs us in its web. The truth of the matter is, most, if not all of us, have never been on the brink of death, so how do we know what that really feels like? We are just assuming by the thoughts our panic-stricken minds comes up with. And certainly because it is such an unknown we always want to be checked out "just in case" which is the wise thing to do after a first spell; but if you get a clean bill of health, just realize what it is if it happens again and try and let it have its moment, then be reassured once it goes away that you are OK.
I want to refer you to www.anxietycentre.org. It is truly an incredible source for anxiety symptoms. I have experienced at some or another most of them. Some are more frightening than others. I just want you aware of what is going on so you will be at peace and be able to live your life free of these chains. Please feel free to PM me anytime. Wiskers~

[Ange1]

totally agree with the really good posts by wiskers and brunette. The breathing is very important for helping to calm down....slow breath in through the nose into the belly and out slowly through the mouth. Takes it away from the shallow high chest breathing of panic and physically calms the body systems down. Fear is a coward and likes to sneak about so if you turn and face it it begins to diminish in power and shrink. Just accept it and acknowledge it as anxiety and the recovery begins but like mentioned don't expect it to happen overnight or get upset by set backs. There will be ups and downs. The old saying of 3 steps forward and 2 steps back can happen at first. Please look after yourself and make time to relax in a way you enjoy. Most important of all don't stop doing things or avoiding in the hope of not panicking . Shutting your life down only makes it worse...I know having been there. On a positive note panic can in the end be a benefit in that it alerts you to the fact change is needed before your health is really affected and lead to a brighter futurexx

[icingsugar]

This pretty much describes my first panic attack. I was sat watching a film, not thinking of anything in particular and then I had a quite strong stomach cramp which seemed to spread to my heart and cause palpitations, shortness of breath, dizziness, a feeling of being in a dream and that I was going to die or collapse etc. It came in waves until the ambulance came, then I was fine for the rest of the day while I was in hospital. Unfortunately each night following this for several weeks I would have a similar attack almost by the clock...when it was dark, while I was in my house etc. They are less frequent now but seem to occur in bouts, for example I'll have a good few days with no or little symptoms, then a bad few days when I have them every night.

Although there seemed to be no obvious cause for the first one, I had moved to a foreign country a month before where I don't speak the language etc and maybe this had something to do with it, although until my first attack I didn't feel overly stressed.

[wiskersonkittens]

How are you doing?

[jd_uk]

Hi All,

Thanks for the kind responses and sorry for not replying sooner. I've had a pretty torrid few weeks and am hpefully starting to get back to normal now. I've actually been off work while I've bene having health check ups (still have to wait for some results but obviously hoping all is clear) and am now finally back but taking it easy to start with. This post is going to be really wrong and I have quiet a few questions for anyone who has the patience to read on.

After the experiences described in my written post I had perhaps my worst 'attack' on the Wednesday night. I woke at probably around 2am and i was aware that I'd maybe had a slightly stressful dream (although I can't recall what) - before I knew it I was upstairs telling my parents that I couldn't breathe. It lasted for about an hour and I honestly felt as though I was going to choke. During that time it came over me in waves and always seemed to start with an intense and overwhelming pain in my head and shooting pains in my left arm and right leg (always that combination). It felt as though my nerves were for some reason completely overstimulated.

I had experiences like this although maybe not as intense for around two weeks and only the last week am I more stable.

The thing which has had me worried this whole time is that I've just had a feeling of being not 'with it' the whole time. Even when I'm laughing and joking, watching a tv show or a youtube video I'll get shooting pains in my head. When I've attempted to go out for walks down the road to get food I've just felt so unsteady, as though a breeze could push me over. It's felt like a massive effort just to put one leg in front of the other and I've always felt off balance. I'm usually very athletic and this just doesn't feel like 'me'. One day I walked 100m down the road to the shop and actually felt drunk - holding on to garden fences on my way down the street. On another day, I hung around the Dr's surgery (which also happens to be at the bottom of the street) as I felt so dizzy and was starting to think that I wouldn't make it back without falling over or something happening. Again, the shooting pains in my arms and legs haven't helped any worries. I also just feel constantly tired regardless of how much I sleep.

Anyway, the Dr has speculated about all sorts of things such as an inner ear infection, even encephalitis (given tablets for this in case) and suggested maybe I've panicked on top of any physical symptoms I've had.

I'm prepared to accept that it a spell of anxiety and panic but there are just some things which I don't understand. I'd really appreciate if someone could cast some light on these:

- How can it be that I've still been feeling all of these symptoms..the diziness, shooting pains etc even when I'm simultaneously laughing along to something on televison or having a chat with a friend on the phone? I'm not consciously worried or anxious at all at these times.

- If this is all anxiety and panic then how do I solve it when I don't know what's causing it? I really feel that although I can get stressed out and rush about too much at times, I'm not a worrier these days. Years ago I was anxious and depressed because of a split with my ex gf. I had insomnia and was a bit of a mess but I never experienced anything like this. My attitude in the last year has been a lot more relaxed and I'm more positive and grateful for what I have. I have more of a 'live for the day' attitude and even though I have been stressed with work I still thought to myself 'well I have savings and a good CV so if it gets too much I can just quit, maybe go travelling for a bit and then get another job'. What I'm saying is, if these are panic attacks and anxiety, how can I fix it if my thought processes are generally fairly positive? I downloaded a CBT workbook and it just didn't seem relevant to me - I didn't really seem to do the catastrophic thinking that it suggested I might.

As I've said, I experienced way more stress and anxiety years ago but never had anything like this. Back then I was definitely a negative thinker (as in, hugely negative) and I also had OCD tendancies...I used to 'check' and criticise my appearance obsessively in a negative way because of my circumstances at the time. There was a point where I was so down that I felt suicidal and I'm really nowhere near like that anymore. In fact it was only the Friday before I had my first attack that I was telling a friend who is going through a tough time about these past experiences as a way of empathising with him. I'd told him how since then I have a completely different view on life. I think most people I know would describe me as a fairly optimistic and confident person. I like to get out and have travelled around the world alone in recent years but all of a sudden I'm tentative to walk down the road in case I have another attack or in case there is something genuinely physically wrong.

- Because I don't feel like my thought processes are generally are that bad - is it possible that somehow a combination of being in pain that day, the stress from the preceding working week and maybe some undelying bug just caused my body to have a panic attack? And maybe since then I've been having them because of the memory of the first one? While the first paragraph of this post I had an intense sense of panic come over me - I managed to calm myself down pretty quickly by telling me it was a good thing it was happening because maybe this was confirmation that nothing was physically wrong and perhaps I could somehow use techniques to beat this.

- If the above is possible, how long do stress hormones last in the body? I've been trying to look this up but can't find any definitive answers. I had read that once someone has an adrenaline rush there is something called a negative feedback loop which is the body's way of bringing stress levels back to normal pretty quickly. This is contrary to what I have felt. For me, whatever happened that first time has had a lasting effect and three weeks later I still feel hypersensitive to everything.

- When having an attack - what are the best coping mechanisms? I have realised that breathing techniques don't seem to help me at all. I don't seem to be over breathing (as in I don't breathe fast). All I can think is that maybe without knowing I breathe too deply for a short period and then this brings on some of the panic symptoms. The only thing I have found which helps is to challenge the panic thoughts in a 'do your worst' sort of way. But I honestly don't know if this would have been enough to help during the really bad attacks I had which makes me nervous about coping with any sudden future attacks.

- what could be causing the shooting pains/burning feeling in my arms? This happens when I'm not consciously feeling stressed even though my body must be. Is this due to stress hormones?

- Lastly.... In two days time I am supposed to be abriad on holiday for a stag do. My frends know I've been unwell and I've told them I may not be able to make the trip and will decide last minute. I have already paid so it will be frustrating not to go as usually I would enjoy it. But I am scared stiff of having an attack while abroad and ending up in some foreign hospital. I don't want to end up feeling really ill (if there is anything physical wrong) and/or panicked and have people around me just think I'm just playing up because I'm drunk. My friends have been pretty good about it and said that they wouldn't mind if I didn't drink heavily or if I needed to go back to the appartment early but I'm still nervous, especially as my sleep pattern would be so distrupted. We have to be at the airport at 5am in the morning. Would I be crazy to go??? Or could it help me to get away, have a few drinks, see friends and face my fears of something happening? I still feel very hypersensitive to everything at the moment.

Thanks if you managed to read all that!!

[Its-so-fluffy]

Hello! I read your post and the overwhelming theme I'm getting is confusion and uncertainty. I had that in abundance when I started having attacks, I honestly cannot think of one thing that caused them. For me it was a load of small things all added together and maybe some genetics and the season thrown in for good measure.

I honestly think you should sort out the root cause. Whether it is physical or mental or both! As for those symptoms of yours they do generally sound anxiety related. In my early attacks I was really not aware of my breathing being incorrect so I never noticed the start of an attack. Breathing is so automatic even when stressed I wouldn't find it unusual that you just don't notice. As for those pains I'm no doctor but as I understand it when you over breath it affects the nerves in the body as calcium ions stop being obsorbed. As far as I'm aware this just causes numbness and tinglying, maybe this can be pain in some people?

I honestly think counceling might be an option for you?

I hope the holiday or stay at home decor was best for you.

Kind regards

[jd_uk]

Hello! I read your post and the overwhelming theme I'm getting is confusion and uncertainty. I had that in abundance when I started having attacks, I honestly cannot think of one thing that caused them. For me it was a load of small things all added together and maybe some genetics and the season thrown in for good measure.

I honestly think you should sort out the root cause. Whether it is physical or mental or both! As for those symptoms of yours they do generally sound anxiety related. In my early attacks I was really not aware of my breathing being incorrect so I never noticed the start of an attack. Breathing is so automatic even when stressed I wouldn't find it unusual that you just don't notice. As for those pains I'm no doctor but as I understand it when you over breath it affects the nerves in the body as calcium ions stop being obsorbed. As far as I'm aware this just causes numbness and tinglying, maybe this can be pain in some people?

I honestly think counceling might be an option for you?

I hope the holiday or stay at home decor was best for you.

Kind regards

Thanks. yes, i'm definitely confused. 1 month later and i still feel uncertain about what has happened. My work aren't being very accomodating (no sick pay and my boss is a nightmare) so it's likely that I could find myself being unemployed soon.

What i don't understand is that i've had periods of greater stress before and never had anything like this happen. If it were going to happen then surely then that would have been 3-4 years ago when i really was an emotional mess..and not on a saturday morning when i was looking forward to finishing shopping to watch the football (albeit after a busy week in work).

I still just feel tired all the time...my nose is blocked most of the time, i get a dry mouth when i'm not consciously anxious at all and i generally just feel unsteady on my feet..as though i am recovering from flu or something (but i havent had it).

So yes...i am really confused. On the one hand i know that just recalling the original experiences was enough to bring me into a short lasting panic...but on the other hand i just generally feel unwell and like i have no energy and all sorts of very uncomfortable symptoms. My sinuses become blocked and my breathing becomes laboured. The other thing is i feel sometimes like i have an elastic band around my left arm (slight numbness) and i still get shooting pains in my feet every so often.

[John95]

its horrible try some herbal rescue remedy just have a look at it. also i think your family seem supportive to you. sometimes when i feel rough i just like hanging around my mum and dad it helps a lot.