and the battle goes on

[Sar89]

well hi there lovely people of no more panic. I try not to post threads anymore when I look on my thread history its just mostly me seeking reassurance for some undiagnosed malady of sorts... the replies do really reassure me but I know I have to deal with this myself and learn to reassure myself. These past few months have been very difficult for me had a lot on and been under a fair amount of stress .. me and stress are not well matched and what doesn't help is I still have a very real stomach complaint that is actually affecting my life and still no diagnosis I have to go and have an endoscopy on Monday which I was really nervous of but now I cant have it as my work collegue is attending a funeral that day so I have stay and man the office so that will have to be put back. Im moving tomorrow back to my beloved Liverpool however some crazy lady from next door felt the need to tell me the last tenant before that was best neighbour she had ever had an the ones before that died.. cue my hysteria I am absolutely terrified of the idea of ghosts or anything even faintly paranormal I don't watch horror films because of this, so she has freaked me right out.. fabulous. Ihave felt so miserable and depressed these past few months just lost and restless I feel like I have reached a crossroads in life and something needs to be done. I tried to go back on my sertraline again and for some reason they made me feel terrible they didn't make me feel like that when I first started taking them so I stopped. The terror is still there and the feeling of impending doom, the mood swings and lost feeling. So where do I go now I still feel convinced im not going to make old bones every illness left right and centre I feel I have and my stomach is absolutely terrifiying me. I just don't know how I can keep carrying this burden with me every day its exhausting, its like I have a split personality too and other people notice. Does anyone have any tips on how to live with this

[Light_Bringer777]

Physical exercise, breathing exercises, meditation or positive visualization, stopping negative self-talk and forcing positive self-talk. Don't know if you already do any of those, but they're the basics to me.

Exercise is really good since it doesn't only take my mind off my worries, but also gives me a sense of power and control while making me healthier anyway.

Changing the way you talk to yourself and how you focus on the things that happen around you really helps IMO. As someone with HA, I tend to focus heavily on my symptoms and every little bad thing going on in my body, but trying to stop my mind from doing this while forcing it once or twice a day to notice the good things that happen really does help me ease the burden a bit (e.g. today I jogged longer, today I had no pains, today my digestion was just fine, today I was less worried and more motivated...). It slowly gives you a more positive perspective overall, like everything is getting slowly better rather than worse and worse.

Other than that, I just try to live dumb. Ignorance really is bliss, so I just try to abandon all my knowledge of illnesses and signs and symptoms. I try to imitate some people around me who just shrug off everything that seems to happen to them and keep going on. Of course I never really succeed, but every little bit of worry I leave behind helps.

[cpe1978]

Sarah, tell us what you are doing to tackle your anxiety and then we know what we're working with so to speak :)

[Sar89]

Hello Thankyou for replies... I do try the living dumb thing avoiding the news and newspapers I avoid it to the extreme though like if people start talking about someone who died or was ill I totally ignore them or change the conversation I literally cannot bear to even talk about it because if I do I will pepper them with questions and burn my own head out. Currently if I'm honest I'm not doing much but avoidance tactics. I can't seem to escape my own fear I'm so wrapped up in my head I'm full of paranoia and terror. Always scared I'm going to die and have some very strange habits such as leaving my door unlocked (incase ambulance needs to come) leaving food low down so daughter can get to it stuff like that. I scared of everything to do with death including being petrified of ghosts ! Like I find it really hard to be on my own because it feels creepy and the atmosphere feels heavy and I feel like I'm being watched... It's my first night in my new house tonight it's pretty old like 1800s terrace an bloody next door neighbours already told me about the old lady who died here from slipping into a diabetic coma and the guy I'm his 50s who died here from a heart attack and how when she was a kid a horrible nasty woman lived here who was deeply religious and wouldn't let the kids walk past the house !!! I'm absolutely terrified now and quite frankly don't want to live here I'm imagining dead people everywhere an crazy satanic rituals ... Anyway I'm going off on one but I'm just anxious and unhappy the stomach pains Iv had for months and the burning ect are just making me extra miserable and paranoid. How do I live my life like this I'm 25 and a mother of a beautiful 4yr old girl.

[SarahH]

Oh Sarah, you really are very anxious and I so sorry you feel so bad. The thing is people die all the time and in houses BUT do really believe they can come
back from the dead? I don't!I suspect your anxiety is just about the actual move and the waiting for the endoscopy rather than the fear of ghosts. You are a healthy young 25 yr old woman. You could try a different SSRI and taper up the dose, starting with the smallest possible. Sometimes when we try to go back on a drug the body doesn't like it.

Sarah

[MyNameIsTerry]

I think this woman has a morbid curiousity...its not like she was living next door 200 hundred years ago and if she was, I'm not sure the queen has got a congratulations letter for that!

Well one big thing in reinforcing anxiety disorders is avoidance so long term you want to no longer be affected by newspapers and the media as well as what the neighbour said otherwise it will continue to limit your life. This is why Exposure Response Prevention (ERP) therapy is often useful to habituate to anxiety and reduce the impact of fears, buts its not easy and it relies on a hierarchy based on least to worst in conquering it all.

I think the old acceptance practice comes in with this issue too because many houses will have had a death in them at some point. We all feel some level of fear in eerie situations, its only our response and become habituated to such environments that reduce our sensitivity. We all think about stuff like this, its only that your reaction is distorted.

What about the CBT Thought Record approach? This will ask you to write down the fear and then mitigate it with opposing questions e.g. what evidence is there that this will happen? How likely is it? The previous tenants lived there and it didn't affect them?, etc.

[Ange1]

I was going to say something similar to Terry. I found getting stuff out of my head and onto paper helped loads. It really helps to rationalise things and begin to take back control. My old nan always said 'there's nowt the dead can do to harm you it's the living you need to worry about! ' lol . Joking aside A lot of us know what it's like to get in that circle of anxiety where anything and everything freaks us out. Sending love and hugs :hugs: xx