Really Needing Help!

[Spectral]

Hi everyone, a couple of you may have seen my posts before but I've got a new problem that has come on.

Here's a little background into my situation. I was a frequent marijuana smoker (once daily at night for 4 months straight) and a frequent coffee drinker (1-2 per day for a couple years). On December 3rd, 2014, I had a monster energy drink at around 4pm, after which I smoked at around 7pm. After smoking, I quickly went into my first panic attack (although, at the time, I didn't know what it was). Two days later, on the 5th, I smoked again and once again went into a panic attack. I stopped smoking altogether after this, but I began to have panic attacks daily while sober. This began a viscous cycle of constant anxiety on top of the attacks and was accompanied with excessive worry about my heart, particularly. At this point, my symptoms were as follows:

- Fast heart beat (I went to the gym and just walking/doing light weights I was reaching 101-111. I've been an athlete all my life, and even when running/doing a heavy weight routine I would only reach 70s-90s).
- Constantly stronger heart beat than usual to the point where it keeps me up at night because I can hear/feel it.
- Waking up frequently during sleep
- Constantly yellow/dark yellow urine, occasional diarrhea
- Sweaty & Cold feet and hands
- Chest pains, sometimes when I take a deep breath and hold it I get a stabbing pain on the left side or I feel like I'm starting to pass out
- Constant burping/belching
- Trembling of hands and random bodily twitches
- Constantly red eyes
- Restlessness, constantly have to be moving something/tapping
- Shortness of Breath
-Constant, unending hunger

Now, many of these symptoms have gone away and the worry about my heart is about 10% of what it was. However, now I am experiencing the following:

- Constant fear of schizophrenia/psychosis
- A feeling that things aren't the same as they once were, and a fear that nothing will be the same again
- A fearful response to philosophical thoughts (I used to love engaging in philosophical thoughts/discussions/debates)
- Constant fear that I'm going crazy somehow or that I've damaged my brain beyond repair
- Occasional depersonalization/derealization

Is anyone familiar with these symptoms? Any input that anyone has would be greatly appreciated; I just really need to talk to someone about this. Thank you SO much for any replies.

[Spectral]

Is anyone able to talk to me about this?

[JMA]

Is anyone familiar with these symptoms?

Not as such, but the feelings you describe, after a less than positive weed experience, are quite well documented.

For example:

http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2014/11/10/fear-of-schizophrenia-after-drug-use/

What is happening here is atypical anxiety. You have had a negative experience, and your brain has latched on to it. Look at it like the initial panic attack was the foundations, and since then negative and obsessional thinking have been building upon them. Every new symptom breeds another new one until your brain needs a time out, as it's getting overwhelmed. This is when dissociative symptoms like you describe kick in. This is the brains safety valve, usually only reserved for when shit really hits the fan, but prolonged anxiety can trigger it.

The only thing I can say for sure with DR/DP symptoms is that they do pass. They always do. You are no going insane. The first step is to recognise this. Strip these feelings of this association, and you will remove their power. Accept them as a symptom of anxiety, and not a precursor that you are losing your mind.

Have a read of this also: http://www.anxietynomore.co.uk/depersonalisation_and_derealisation.html

[Spectral]

Not as such, but the feelings you describe, after a less than positive weed experience, are quite well documented.

For example:

http://psychcentral.com/ask-the-therapist/2014/11/10/fear-of-schizophrenia-after-drug-use/

What is happening here is atypical anxiety. You have had a negative experience, and your brain has latched on to it. Look at it like the initial panic attack was the foundations, and since then negative and obsessional thinking have been building upon them. Every new symptom breeds another new one until your brain needs a time out, as it's getting overwhelmed. This is when dissociative symptoms like you describe kick in. This is the brains safety valve, usually only reserved for when shit really hits the fan, but prolonged anxiety can trigger it.

The only thing I can say for sure with DR/DP symptoms is that they do pass. They always do. You are no going insane. The first step is to recognise this. Strip these feelings of this association, and you will remove their power. Accept them as a symptom of anxiety, and not a precursor that you are losing your mind.

Have a read of this also: http://www.anxietynomore.co.uk/depersonalisation_and_derealisation.html

Thanks so much for your response and your help, I really appreciate it. Do you think that something could go wrong with thinking this way if it continues? It seems like its always in my head no matter what unless I'm reallyyy distracted (perhaps playing video games or something similar). I'm just scared of rewiring my brain to permanently be like this or get worse - do you think that's possible? And any advice on how to get out of this?

[JMA]

unless I'm reallyyy distracted (perhaps playing video games or something similar)

....and here's the clue it's anxiety based. While you are 'fragging newbz 4 lolz' you brain is occupied, so it cannot spend it's time making you feel all weird. If you have schizophrenia etc, then I am fairly sure it doesn't take a break to allow you to play a video game.


Do you think that something could go wrong with thinking this way if it continues?


You're currently in a bit of a negative thought loop, with your brain jumping on every single thing it is hyper-monitoring, and you need to pop yourself out of it. The first step is to remove the fear from these feelings, and eventually they will drift away.

A couple of reads you may find helpful are this: http://web.archive.org/web/20130928045837/http://nothingworks.weebly.com/

...and this is a very good book: http://www.amazon.ca/At-Last-Life-Paul-David/dp/0956948103/ref=tmm_pap_title_0?ie=UTF8&qid=1424163274&sr=1-1

I should caveat this all with I am just a dude on the internet. In order to sort this out, you may need to speak to your GP or a therapist. You seem to be in the relatively early stages, so nothing is too entrenched, and you should be able to turn this around.