After worrying about cancer for the past six months...

[Strovbe]

I'm at my wits end. I started worrying about cancer back in August, started with melanoma, went to nearly everything else in the book. Now I'm stuck on bowel cancer/throat cancer/lung or bone cancer. A few days ago a student from my old school passed away from cancer. I didn't know her that well, and this may be selfish but I took it as a sign. I'm next. I can't get it out of my head that I'm going to die. In December I randomly thought up that I was going to die in 114 days. WHY?! Why the hell was the number so exact? I'm terrified. I can't see myself living past this year let alone this decade.

[Dazza123]

Don't you think that after 6 months, if you did have cancer there would be some very serious symptoms going on by now? Your thoughts are very irrational, which is typical, but go to a doctor and get yourself checked out for your own peace of mind and try getting some reality back into your life.

[Strovbe]

Don't you think that after 6 months, if you did have cancer there would be some very serious symptoms going on by now? Your thoughts are very irrational, which is typical, but go to a doctor and get yourself checked out for your own peace of mind and try getting some reality back into your life.

Doctor said I was healthy. I'm just concerned is all. This is a VERY strange coincidence and it's freaking me out.

[Poppy Girl]

Hi
I have been the same as you. I was ill last year and convinced myself I had cancer until I was diagnosed with gallstones and had my gallbladder removed. Thought I would be ok after that but then my evil inner voice started asking me what if I do have cancer somewhere in my body that I currently have no symptoms for. Then my imagination went into overdrive. I have 2 teenage boys and convinced myself I would die before they reach adulthood. I'd never see them grow into men, see my grandchildren etc etc. Then I had a dream that one of them died at exactly 17.46pm. Well my elder son is 17 and I'm currently 46 so obviously that meant he's going to die soon. The anxieties just kept piling up.
However, I plucked up courage to go to my doctor and tell her how I felt. She was really understanding. I was given medication to help calm me down and then had counselling and cbt which helped me realise how irrational these thoughts were. It's been a long journey and I still feel anxious a lot of the time but I can now rationalise with myself and distract my thoughts in other ways, such as reading, watching a film, going for a walk and noticing things around me or best of all, seeing friends or family for fun times.
I read a quote on the MIND Facebook page today that said "It isn't easy to use your brain logically when it has turned against you emotionally" and for me this sums anxiety up completely. It isn't easy but it will get better. Make sure you talk to someone and let them know how you feel. I was scared to go to the doctor in case she told me to stop being silly but she was amazing. She explained it was a build up of stress and my mind couldn't cope anymore. I was in a really bad way but I'm so much better now. It will get better for you too.
I've learned to live in the moment and take one day at a time. I know longer worry what might or might not happen tomorrow. X

[steph25]

Hi, I have done exactly the same. My Gran has had cancer four times (liver, bowel, breast and lymphoma) and still alive to tell the tale, but I have terrified myself about cancer.

I've done the whole melanoma one, brain tumour, stomach cancer and most recently ovarian and breast. I've been getting sharp pains in my left breast and also stomach pains and saw an article about how a woman was told she had IBS but it was ovarian cancer, so of course I thought that's exactly what I have.

What I'm saying is that as soon as one issue goes away, I convince myself I have a different type of cancer. I'm sure the breast pain is just because I'm due on and I've suffered with stomach aches on and off for years so it must be the IBS but my brain trys to tell me something different and that's what I've got to try to control.

Have you been to your doctor? I went to mine and thanks to him I'm starting a CBT course next Thursday which will hopefully help, have you thought about maybe seeing someone about it? You shouldn't have to live with being this scared, none of us should.