Feeling INCREDIBLY worried/anxious and a little depressed.

[Toby2000]

Hi,

I have been a hypochondriac for about 6 months now and I hate it. I absolutely hate it. I'm convinced that everything is a sign of something horrible and unnameable. I feel like crying now because there's no point in it anymore. I just know that I've either got a terrible disease and die from it, or am going to get one in the future. I'm just so scared when I think of my previously happy life, being held in my mums arms and being told that she loves me. I'm scared that that's never going to happen again and I'm going to devastate my parents by dying of some kind of disease only 1 week after catching it.

Now I am crying thinking about it. I feel hopeless and lost. I know I need help but I know it won't help because I'll always have a looming fear of cancer or something like that. I'm even skipping seeing my granddad at hospital tomorrow because I'm scared I'm going to have a panic attack seeing those stupid leaflets saying "BE CLEAR ON CANCER" as though sending me a message. I'm not saying that they're stupid, I'm just saying that I feel as though all of these cancer warnings in the media are sending me a warning. A few months ago my sister was watching Family Guy, and when I walked in a guy on it said "..YOU HAVE CANCER!". I ran up to my room crying. Not to mention my Christmas breakdown when I nearly passed out worrying about bowel cancer.

I may be going to the doctors next week to sort all of my worries out. Last time I went because of my hypochondria, the doctor told me not to Google things because I'll end up ill. Hmm.. wonder what happened after that? I moved on from lung cancer (turned out to be hayfever) to: brain tumor, bowel cancer, meningitis, bladder cancer, heart attack, leukemia, skin cancer, gallbladder disease, enlarged spleen, enlarged prostate. GAH! I've "had" everything. There was a point when I didn't have anything to worry about, so I stopped Googling my symptoms for a while. I did fine then, but then I began worrying again which then led my hypochondria to completely spiral out of control. My family would describe me as a hypochondriac; a severe one. I even went into self harming once, which I completely regretted.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO :weep:

[Fishmanpa]

You're 14... My youngest child is 7 years older than you. I say this coming from a parents perspective...

I want you to copy and paste all your posts/threads, print them out and take them with you to the doctor next week. Let him/her read them. Ask. For. Help! PLEASE...

You're too young to be worrying like this about life. For goodness sakes, at your age, I couldn't care less about the things you worry about. I was out and about enjoying life and doing the things most young teenagers do... Ooogling over the opposite sex, going to parties, having fun with my friends etc.

That's what you should be doing... not spending you time posting on a mental health forum!

I hope what I'm saying gets through... truly I do.

Positive thoughts

[Toby2000]

I wish I could do those things a normal (god, that word makes me so jealous) teen would do, but I just can't without getting this feeling of pending dread and anxiety right at the back of my head.

[Emilym80]

I wish I could do those things a normal (god, that word makes me so jealous) teen would do, but I just can't without getting this feeling of pending dread and anxiety right at the back of my head.

I'm 18 and I feel much the same. I have done for most of my life, but unlike you I didn't realise I actually had anything wrong until last year. I've only started therapy very recently and gotten some iphone apps/strategies for coping with anxiety using techniques like mindfulness and they've already been pretty helpful! If you're going to the doctor next week, *please* tell them how you're feeling and discuss your options for treating the anxiety. It sounds like your family is well aware of how you struggle; have you spoken to them about how you feel, or do your discussions with them tend to revolve more specifically around health anxiety?

I think the earlier you get onto this, the better you'll ultimately be. A lot of people are able to overcome their anxiety with treatment and go back to being normal (so to speak). In the interim, try and eat as healthily as possible, get around 8 hrs sleep a night and try and do at least 30 mins of exercise a day. Lifestyle changes like that can help somewhat, especially exercising.

Anyway, I think your visit to the doctor should be centred around getting you some help for your anxiety, but I don't mean to belittle your worries. Ask them about whatever you're concerned about regarding your health and hopefully that too will bring you some short-term relief.

Best of luck :) feel free to PM me (if that's possible on this forum) if you want to talk to someone about it a bit further. Btw- it's normal to feel a bit or even quite depressed when you have anxiety and vice versa as they tend to go hand in hand. Generally if you treat the anxiety, the depression will improve too.