Lost cause for the docs

[nok_tok]

Well I have been going gp's for years suffering with anxiety, depression, panic etc...taken prozac for 2 years..just made me more erratic and I put on 2 stone!!!!, had bad suicidal thoughts on and off..taken a few other meds with no joy...diazepam helps but limited supply...I have been to a wellbeing team. Twice but I founnd it useless. ( had to write down a positive things I done each day in diary, but found they more stressful ..having homework..) I do understand but I didn't really help.felt a bit like a child....then I was told by docs that I was suffering from bipolar.. Made sense for my symptoms..referred to psychiatrist but she was a bit weird and said I'm completely normal after speaking to me for 2 mins..before i even said hello to her on first meeting the first thing she said to me was.."after reading your records, your not what I expected you to look like at all'...so I'm back at docs..with bad anxiety and depression..highs and lows... Erratic....what could they do now�� counselling?? I just at end of tether..I don't think they know what to do with me...

[MyNameIsTerry]

She does sound a bit weird, prejudging someones required appearance is not really inline with the nonjudgemental mindset of someone who works in the mental health industry! Its well documented that many people hide their mental health issues anyway. If she meant for bipolar, does she watch QI and see Stephen Fry who is bipolar and takes no medication?

Maybe they need to try different medications until they find what works for you? It depends on what fuels the anxiety & depression as to the type of therapy that might help you but the standard tends to be CBT until you access people like psychiatrists where more indepth forms are available.

The wellness stuff sounds like the basic Level 2 style people where they work short term on non complex scenarios. Thats more aimed at people with stress in their lives as opposed to more serious anxiety & depression issues.

[nok_tok]

everything smms a mess for me, last year I got a decent photography Job, paying well...I then dropped their 2k camera costing them £500 to fix it....since then I walked out of my decent job cause I felt a nervous wreck.....I crashed my car into a lampost.....my car got written off I got a new 3 grand car.. The cam belt snapped so I had to sell 3k car for £500 scrap.. Then I just bought a car for £1500 at auction, paid too much..they car has problems. Rattling, not sure how bad it is yet!!...now I'm overdrawn and skint....getting charged by bank for being overdrawn...only need car to get son to school as the school 2 mins walk away doesn't have a catchment area and he didn't get in, and no school bus for his school 4 miles away, no help from council with transport as it's not his nearest school!!!! Have appealed twice to get him in his local school but no joy...just feel like I'm plaqued with bad luck....

[nok_tok]

thanks for reply "MyNameIsTerry"

I do feel very lonely and sad, im going to see GP tomorrow, but again i will only be telling him that i have been feeling the same way as before.. :(

[MyNameIsTerry]

How did it go with your GP?

Believe me, many people on here will know how you feel going through multiple medications and feeling hopeless. I've had some terrible low moods that have made me want it to all end somehow, its part of it but you can recover from this with support & help.

With this issue of your son's school, he can't get into his local one so you've had to go to one further away. Is this one he goes to the closest next school? At 4 miles, you may be entitled to help from the LA upon applying detailing your case http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/england/education_e/education_school_education_ew/help_with_school_costs.htm#h_school_transport

[nok_tok]

hey "mynameisterry"

i have been in a real state today and yesturday..gp put me on sertraline, havent taken it yet as it will mess me up as it make symptoms worse to start and im in a bad place right now, just had 4 diazepam and i can barely type or see what im writing here..been on pone to samaritans all morning and mind..but just want to go somewhere to talk to someone,, a group maybe? im confused..i keep searchig put ita all phone or forum based...i just need someone to tell me its ok, i have bee n feeling really suicidal

[MyNameIsTerry]

Hi,

I'm sorry things are really rough for you right now. I've had some real bad times with anxiety and depression, its really tough when it gets like that and I just tried to get through the day as best as I could knowing I could at least go to sleep but it was tough again the next day. It's hard work but it is a pattern we can escape from, I just found little changes here & there add up. I also did a lot of walking so it got me into a rhythm of getting out of the house for a few hours a day and its surprising how your day can pass more quickly if you break it up like that.

You probably can't see there is a way out right now but there always is, we weren't born like this so I don't believe is our fate but it is a question of finding the thing that works and it can often be a long & difficult search.

I've been to groups, they were really helpful. Just being around people helps. It helps being on here & talking to people but it's a different feel in groups, more engaging if you want it to be although they don't tend to get into perhaps as much detail as we can on here.

There are charities that run groups, like the one in my city. I would suggest doing some searches for local mental health charities other than MIND and see if anything is available. Falling that, perhaps call MIND and see if they can recommend a local one.

Above all, if you need them, keep calling The Samaritans. Do not hesitate, they will always talk to you no matter what and sometimes when we are isolated this can help keep going for just a little while longer until it passes and we regain our strength.

I would encourage you to look up Mindfulness. There are threads on here on the Therapy and Natural Remedies boards. Look for Professor Mark Williams and his MBCT 8 week programme via Google. MBCT is NICE approved for treatment of reoccurent depression and has good anti relapse rates. There are loads of studies of the US form that it is based on, MBSR, and how it makes changes to the brain and its just daily meditation and weekly exercises to get you to try things.

I have to go I'm afraid but I will check in again later tonight, I'm sorry to leave you and I hope other members pop on here to offer support for you but I'm just going to bed (my days are really badly skewed due to my own anxiety problems). I just spotted a few thread updates on the board and I wanted to at least say something to try to help you or at least to say you are not alone on here before I logged off.

You take care.

[pulisa]

I just wanted to give you my support too. When you're feeling like this and every minute is torture it's so hard to be able to think clearly and you feel that things will never change or improve and just getting through to the end of the day is a marathon...only for it to start again the following day.

Terry has given you some excellent advice. The diazepam will help you to relax a bit and give you some much-needed respite from your anxiety. Keep on ringing the Samaritans. Is there anyone in your family or a close friend you could contact just to help you get through the day? I know you have no faith in your GP but could you see anyone else in the practice who will not just fob you off with 2 months prescription of an ssri and that's it?

Keep as calm as you can and don't lose heart. It's horrible when you're suffering like this but you will feel better when you get appropriate help.

[MyNameIsTerry]

I hope you have been a bit better last night nok tok.

Take care.

[nok_tok]

thanks

i really appreiciate it, i did speak to samaritans, but they are more of a listener rather than a helper, I was very suicidal a few days ago, it still feel very low, i am going to gp again on weds, they gave me a list of councelling services the other day but it was all old information and i couldnt get through..i think i need some councelling or a group..im so scared of tablets, i am trying not to take diazepam, although they do help, i do get a comedown and im trying my upmost to stay positive ..its really hard..

[MyNameIsTerry]

Yeah, but at least its somebody because we can get so isolated and barely speak to another human being through our weeks and just having someone to listen to you can give you something. I know you want to access people who can provide you will options/solutions, its just those people are sadly harder to access with the NHS.

Have you searched for local self help groups in your area? I've got one in mine and it sounds like you prefer the face-to-face approach. It does help being around people, these forums are a godsend for other reasons but they don't provide the same appeal as being around other people.

I know what you mean about Diazepam, 2 hours after taking it I would get bad headaches but they didn't last long. It was nothing compared to the anxiety though!

Take a look on this thread from another member as she is talking about a new NHS service that may ber useful for you. Knowing the fractured way the NHS works (its not really national, its ruled by local trusts and CQC's and they are not very coordinated with other regions) it may take a while to roll out, but you may get lucky:

http://www.nomorepanic.co.uk/showthread.php?t=165976

At the groups I attended, they were really big on promoting voluntary work to boost people by having something to do, that helps others, and having some interaction with other people. Is this something you could try?

[nok_tok]

this morning, i have felt so low, hopeless, woke up at 6am wondering if i will make it through the day, had a big hug with partner and told him that im really struggling to cope...anyway i walked kids to school as usual trying not to burst into tears..i walked home through the park and out of the woods came an elderly couple, they approched me (there were plenty of people about but only came to me (i was further away than other passers by) they handed me a leaflet about suffering and i burst just into tears, they were so damn nice to me (jahovas witness of course) (i dont follow any religeon but am open minded) the man reminded me of my late grandad so much, i just realised it is the annervesary of his death, and my nan (his wife) was getting into the jahova's witnesses as a comfort in the last few years of her life..and i wondered..were they sent to me..by her?? and as if by magic they wondered off, within a few seconds i turned back and i couldnt even see where they went...

Its not the first time this has happened to me when i have felt so low

---------- Post added at 13:22 ---------- Previous post was at 13:12 ----------

have still been feeling suicidal, just want to know when i feel feel remotely stable again, i have been a member here for 10 years (this is my 2nd i.d as i got paranoid) really appreciate pages like this..

i really do feel like doctors are a waste of space,

i want to work, i dont want to work, voluntary work might be ok, but i have 3 kids so restrcted...too afraid to claim benefits (cant go through the stress) skint and in need of money..heads in a spin

if i was rich i would get therapy, talk to psychatrists, psychotherapists etc but its not fair, i have to suffer on the NHS, i cant get any help for 6 weeks and even the group they sending me to is basic 'how to feel better' positve changes help...


been filling out a mood diary for 30 days, i got the sheet advice from bipolar uk, im rating how i feel with numbers, so hopefully i can show this to doc at some point..accordinng to my ratings on saturday i went from moderate depression to hypomanic..

im not taking any meds at all, was offered certraline, but couldnt face it..im barely eating 1 meal a day...feel like nobody cares and i just gotta get on with it..

im constantly searching for a safe haven...

A hospital bed with people telling me "its ok you are safe now, everythings going to be ok" and reassuring me i will get better...i really feel failed By the NHS..cant some rich person save me from this misery...

[MyNameIsTerry]

Sadly this seems to be many peoples experience of the NHS when it comes to mental health. Some people are lucky and drop on a good GP who pushes all the way for them and then some of us, like me, end up with a GP practice that is one step away from getting patients to sit on a conveyor belt as its all about sticking to timings and not about individual care!

The charity I used to attend walk-in meetings at said these types of GP surgeries are very common and we should use our GP's to gain access to other services so we get to the people who have the time to help us, but to not expect too much from these types of GP's. Just a broken system really!

A mood diary is a good idea. I don't know if its any help but there is an interesting book called Mood Mapping by a doctor who is bipolar. I've read some of it standing in Whsmiths on a couple of occasions and its quite interesting as it emphasises the need to manage 4 basic mood states and this could apply to anyone with anxiety & depression as well. Its interesting because it explains how to manage up periods as well so that you don't overdo it and bring about sooner or more intense down periods. It might be worth a look.

Its nice that the Jehovah's Witnesses were nice to you at that time. They have to put up with a lot of stick so they must be quiite emotionally strong as not to take offence and this helps when dealing with those suffering. The Salvation Army tend to come across the same as they do a lot for the homeless and many of them have mental health problems.