johnno
22-02-15, 18:28
Hi there, I have noticed that the feelings that persist the most are the sensations in the heart area. On my back (in that area) there is a tension, it feels like a tight grip that won't let go. At the chest area, it feels a bit like a dizzying, slow, deadening pulse that beats consistently. If I sit with it I can feel the pulse sort of reverberate along the back of my head and neck. It just doesn't seem to go. I used to think it had something in connection with negative, fearful thoughts yet when I'm not thinking it still seems to persist.
I also notice that when I feel anxious I become much more self-conscious and more aware of other people's body language, it is as if I'm looking for clues as to make sure that they like me or that they feel comfortable, soon as I notice the slightest bit of discomfort in someone I start to panic or be concerned.
The eye contact is pretty frustrating too. Then in social situations it is almost as if I'm acting so that I make the other person comfortable. I get concerned about how I may look. I worry in case my stare is too intense or whether I look intimidating or fearful so when I'm anxious I tend to look away as much as possible but even then I worry that they're losing interest or that they think I'm rude or something.
At the moment the depression seems to be the worst thing. I was walking around town today just thinking what on earth am I doing! I don't seem to get enjoyment from anything anymore. |Hence why I drink and smoke weed sometimes.
I also notice that when I feel anxious I become much more self-conscious and more aware of other people's body language, it is as if I'm looking for clues as to make sure that they like me or that they feel comfortable, soon as I notice the slightest bit of discomfort in someone I start to panic or be concerned.
The eye contact is pretty frustrating too. Then in social situations it is almost as if I'm acting so that I make the other person comfortable. I get concerned about how I may look. I worry in case my stare is too intense or whether I look intimidating or fearful so when I'm anxious I tend to look away as much as possible but even then I worry that they're losing interest or that they think I'm rude or something.
At the moment the depression seems to be the worst thing. I was walking around town today just thinking what on earth am I doing! I don't seem to get enjoyment from anything anymore. |Hence why I drink and smoke weed sometimes.