Peace of Mind Shattered Suddenly - Weeks of Anxiety Ahead

[Disillusioned]

I should have known not to take these things for granted. A little over a year ago, some new neighbours (a late 40's/early 50's couple and their teenage son) moved in next door. They are pleasant, quiet and we have had no problems with them whatsoever. It never occurred to me that they'd move out after living there just over a year, but today I found out that's exactly what's happening.

My wife was going out this afternoon and bumped into the guy putting things into his car. 'We're off', he said. There's been some movement in there the last few days, but I didn't for a moment think they were moving out. So, not only do I find out they're moving out, they actually move out on the same day.

Here's the kicker: I now have weeks of worry and anxiety ahead wondering who will replace them. We are wall-to-wall with that house so the kind of people they are and their habits they have will impact us. The nicest family ever could move in, or the loudest, most antisocial family with criminal records could. And it'll likely be a few weeks before someone actually does move in.

My family thinks I'm being irrational (and perhaps I am), but I work at home and spend the vast majority of my days indoors so undesirable neighbours will have a profound impact on my anxiety and general peace of mind. I haven't had to worry about this for over a year. The family that lived there before them were overall decent people but we did have some issues with them and their kids at times, so in some ways it was a relief when they left. More so when they were replaced by an extremely quiet family.

I don't really know what to do. I know worrying won't help, but I feel like I can't relax until I know who's in there. And if they're loud or negative in any way, my peace that I had taken for granted could be shattered for a long time to come :sad: I think I'll be taking a Diazepam tonight.

[debs71]

Sadly, this is one of those anxieties that really nobody has any control over.

That is why an anxiety such as this is really a kind of fruitless anticipatory anxiety, as whatever the case is - be they quiet or disruptive - you can't change it, bar complaining if they are too noisy, etc.

I know how you feel though. Both sides to us, the neighbours are a total nightmare. One side we have a large family with a brat of a son, who screams the house down when he doesn't get his own way, or has to go to bed (we hear all of it through the wall), and the other side we have a family who shout at each other when they speak, even if they are a foot away from each other, and two very sweet, but extremely noisy little girls.

When my anxiety is controlled, it annoys me, but I try to just block it out, but when my anxiety is at it's worst, I cannot bear the noise at all.

I am not sure how to advise, as this is one of those issues that is quite common, and frustratingly difficult to deal with, but what I would say is that worrying about it in advance is pretty pointless. It is sort of one of those 'cross that bridge when you come to it' scenarios, unfortunately.:shrug:

[Disillusioned]

Thanks for your helpful reply, debs71 :)

You're totally right; I have no control over it and that makes it so frustrating, yet worrying about it is completely pointless. It's a strange one.

So sorry about your neighbours. I hope they quieten down, or better yet, move out and be replaced by quiet ones :D

[debs71]

No probs, Disillusioned. I'm just sorry I can't be more helpful, advice wise!

Yep, we live in hope that one or the other (or even better, both) may move out asap, lol! :shades:

[Disillusioned]

Honestly, just being able to vent about this really helped. Thanks again :)

[debs71]

You're most welcome.

I truly hope you end up with some nice, quiet neighbours. Our living environment does does make a huge difference to our anxiety.

Fingers and toes crossed! :)

[Disillusioned]

Warning: nonsensical babbling on ahead. Feel free to turn back now! :blush:

I have always felt that my anxiety is at the root of the periods of feeling low and the bouts of depression I've had throughout my life.

It concerns me how much things that happen can affect my mood one way or the other. At the beginning of this year, I was sort of in the middle: just going through each day not particularly optimistic or pessimistic. But getting out more, tending to some minor health issues I had then going away and seeing an amazing concert (twice) seemed to be the catalyst to my mood and outlook rocketing up. That sounds more ridiculous now I've written it down, but it's true :blush:

So after that, I was full of hopes and dreams. Motivated, optimistic and looking forward to a great year. I threw myself back into my work and felt like nothing could stop me. Then, one night just under a couple of weeks ago....I'm sitting relaxing in my living room after my wife and son have gone to bed. It's around half-past midnight (I'm a night owl). I hear (what I think sounds like) someone knocking on the patio window :scared15: Instead of going to it, opening the curtains and seeing if anyone actually is there....I run to switch all the lights on and make sure I'm near the phone. Of course, when I go to look outside there's nobody there.

That set my anxiety off for days. I'd love to say I don't actually think there was anyone there, but every time I play it back in my mind it sounds like someone was knocking on the window. Burglar? Potential burglar? I don't know, but I haven't been able to relax since. Then a week later, I suddenly find out that our neighbours are moving out. Our quiet neighbours who it's been a pleasure living next door to. I simply can't seem to relax in my own home any more. And as I work at home, this has had a detrimental affect. I say 'work at home'; I've actually just got back into that in the last few weeks and that's causing me frustration. But that's a whole other subject in itself.

To top it off, on Sunday night, I put a speculative £5 bet on something. Mostly for fun; the odds were extremely high. I was a whisker away from winning it....and close to £2,000. I've cut down on gambling recently, but to say that would have made the next few months is an understatement. It would have taken some financial pressure (that I put on myself) off my shoulders and myself and my family would have fast-tracked to some goals I set for this year. I'd probably still be on cloud nine now.

I hate that my mood is apparently so fragile that it can lift or plummet so easily. It seems I'm one good thing happening away from being happy (at least temporarily) or one 'bad' thing happening away from being down, and even depressed. I was on Propranolol until last month, but my doctor took me off it as it was making my asthma (which I hadn't had since childhood) really bad. I'm completely fine now with my breathing, so maybe I should think about asking to go back on it. I generally felt calmer, more rational and my moods were more stable while I was on it.

I just want my get up and go, the optimism and security I seemed to have just a couple of weeks ago back. It's probably going to take time, though.