I don't know how to get out of this situation.

[EColegrove]

Sorry for the long post, I would really appreciate it if you read it.
I'm writing this post because basically I'm lost in life, I have no Idea what I'm
Doing or where I'm going. I think my main problem is my anxiety which keeps me from
experiencing opportunities, meeting new people and just getting on with my life. The
other thing would have to just be the lack of knowing the things that interest me,
I mean the only thing that I get enjoyment out of is hanging out with my mate and even
too much of that gets boring, I'm really hoping that all of this is the result of my
anxiety making my life seem sour when I know It's not there are people out there way
worse then me.

I've had my anxiety from around the age of six and its always stopped me from doing
things like school trips, socializing and anything that I wanted to do that I know
would make me anxious. I didn't really get drawn to any particular subjects, making
friends was more important to me because I knew it would make me happy, I would
hang out with friends rather then doing my homework which is why I didn't do so well
in school. And to this day I would still probably hang out with friends then do
work and I hate that way of thinking.

So after school I got a part time job that isn't bad if you like the type of work
but It's not for me. I'm now 20 and I'm pretty much going round in circles as far as careers
go. It'll pretty much go like this, research a career, read up about it and get
exited, anxiety kicks in a throws some worrisome thoughts and scenarios at me,
I get the thought "am I really interested in this to want to do it as a career" and I can't
answer this because I don't know what the career is really like because every time
I look up doing volunteering I get the anxious thoughts and scenarios that hold me
back. I mean I'm interested in health and helping people so I looked up physiotherapy
and I seemed interested in it, but then came the thoughts of

"what if I accidentally injured or killed someone, I might get sent to prison"
how could I do a job with this thought in my mind every day, I'd probably drive myself
crazy worrying if what I did to a patient would injure or kill them.
or
"what if when I volunteer I can't think of anything to say and I just sit there in
awkward silence"
or
"What if the place has lifts and I have to either go in one or say I don't like them
which would make it awkward"
or what If I try all of the careers that seem interesting and I turns out that
actually none of them interest me, then I'll just be stuck at some job I don't even
like.

And these things terrify me enough to make just make me retreat and not pursue it further.
I know that all of these things probably stem from the anxiety but I just feel like my
whole perception of life is off. I somehow feel that everything needs to be perfect
for me to be happy, perfect job, perfect friends and I know that this will not happen
and I know that I could be happy in the situation I'm in now, yeah sure it's not ideal
but it's no where near as bad as other peoples situations so why can't I just do that
why can't I just pick a career and go for it, why can't I go out and socialize and
make more friends instead of sitting at home and wishing I had more, why can't I be
someone who would do their homework instead of going out with mates. Is it that I
truly have nothing that interests me outside of socializing because I can't make money
from that. Why am I so awkward why can't I be like a normal person and find a career that
interests me do the training needed, meet people along the way and live a decent life
with a job that interest's me enough to want to do it everyday and friends that I can
have a laugh with. I just relay don't know.

Please if anyone has gone through this please tell me how you did it
because at the moment I just don't know if this is going to end. Also any
advice on what my next steps could be because I really don't know what
to do.

Thank you for taking the time to read this.

[Emma_student]

Hi EColegrove,

Reading about your situation is pretty similar to what im going through at the moment. Ive got no idead about what im going to do with the rest of my life and im pretty apathetic about my whole outlook on university, jobs, family, marriage etc. I just seem to live day to day and thats it; i would also rather hang out with my friends and watch netflix than do well in uni. Yes, anxiety is a big hinderance in our situations and i think added pressure on us as young people is a factor as well.

As i said, im in the same situation as you atm so im still looking for support for that, but just to say youre not alone as there are many people like us out there, trying to find some way to make it out of our terrible situation.

My tip for you would be to try and gain a little perspective on things, focus on CBT techniques (which if youre not getting atm, then try and get a GP appointment, or there are loads of free resources online) and communicate with someone you trust about your feelings. Sometimes, the only way to know whether were truly scared of something (like a job or a particular career) is to dive in and see how you fare.


Hope this helps :)

[.Poppy.]

Reading your post, it's almost as if I wrote it myself!

I graduated with a degree I didn't like (it's required to go to grad school for it but I wasn't accepted) so I took a semester off and went back to school to complete a business degree. I find myself sitting in classes wondering if I can/want to do this, wondering if I made a mistake by not just going back to what I originally was in (though I hated it), wondering if I'm supposed to be on a different path. I feel like I can't keep switching majors and trying to find myself but I'm so terrified that this won't work out either.

I look at it like this: life is all about finding yourself. You may get started on something and discover in five years you want to do something else, and that's totally fine. You may get an opportunity that will change everything.

MUCH easier said than believed, I know. I'm still, like you, looking for opportunities and praying I find a path that I can be happy with. It's very scary stuff.

Just know that there are many going through this. If you ever want to chat, feel free to hit me up on IM or something - we can rant about the troubles of life :)

As for taking opportunities - best advice: just go for it. It may be scary but it may also be worth it. If you're not comfortable jumping in entirely, maybe look into volunteering a few hours a week in a similar field. That way, it's not a major commitment and you can back out if you want to, but you can get a feel for it and learn something.

I know it's so hard to feel like you're missing out on opportunities or saying no to things you should have said yes to - been there, still there. Sometimes you have to keep going and think "well, I missed that, but maybe it will be because I didn't get that that I get my next break".

Best of luck :)