View Full Version : im so sorry
Hi everyone,
I have been wondering whether to post this or not over the last couple of weeks... the thing is, i dont wanna let any of you guys down. Over the last few months the only posts i have been posting have been positive and how everything is going great for me and now... I've let you and myself down :(
You see, two weeks ago was my A- levels results day, I hvae had panic attacks about this day... It was sucha big thing to me, my whole school career summed up in one day... to top it off two years earlier my brother got 5 A's at A level and i knew i could never level up to him in my parents eyes.... I had to get BBC to get into lancaster university so all the way i am panicking thinking "im never gonna get these grades" when suddenly the thought pops into my head... "if i do get these grades, i will have to go to university in less than 6 weeks!!!!"
Well im opening the results and everyone immediately thinks ive failed as i burst into tears when in fact it is the total opposite... I got BBCC!!! im going to university!!!! HELP!!!
Im not ready to cope on my own yet.... What if i panic and no one knows whats going on??? I cant have anymore CBT sessions... I have to do everything off my own back ut worst of all... WHAT HAPPENS IF I AM SICK ON MY OWN???
I now ive taken a massive step backwars but i need you guys to help me....
Im so sorry for letting you all down, i really am [V]
H
Rennie1989
02-09-04, 22:19
hb
im pleased you got a good results with your a levels and well done for getting into uni
iv just came back to school again and im a yr10 and iv only done 2 lessons today and im finding them difficult, im feeling down, a failure, thick etc
i suffer panic attacks at school and im alone like you. just tell the teachers about your condition and hopefully they will understand, like my old teachers did
im hope your ok today
Scooter Girl
if i wa hungry would u feed me, if i fell u you help me up, if i was crying would brush away my tears
Helen,
Many many congratulations on such great results !!
Yes its scary but its also exciting and they both feel similar .
Why wouldn't you cope ? You always have done so .
The sick bit - I'm sure during your CBT you went through all the theory about it and coping strategies.
How far from home are you going to be and what will you be studying there ?
Meg
Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind.
If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.
Robert Albert Bloch
Hi HB,
Well done on your results!! I'm sure that the thought of going to uni is very scary for you. I'm sure that once you get there you will meet people who will help you along the way and chances are there will be other people suffering from anxiety and panic attacks too. Before you know it, it will feel like home!!
Sarah :D
Hi Helen
Firstly congratulations for your results, especially with what you have coped with.
You should be proud of yourself.
I expect the though of university and people not understanding what you have been through and how will you cope with it, will not be as bad as you are imagining.
All us anxiety suffered tend to over exaggerate on problems and when they arise they seem not to be as bad as we expected.
Its a big new step for you, so look on the positive side you coped with your alevels and i am sure you will cope with this. You are going to university to study something you want to study, you can only build confidence and gain so much experience from this.
Best of luck and i am sure you will be fine.
Love Sal xxxxx
thanks for all the congratulations... for some reason they are not making me feel better, only worse :(
Meg... I will be just over 150 miles from home, studying religious education so i will hopefully one day be a secondary school teacher.
Jade... I hope school starts getting easier for you, fingers crossed!
H
So just about 2 hours away by car. Not bad .
Should you get in a state its not too far to pop home for the weekend and some reassurance .
I know being sick and getting into a panic can be far more immediate and instant than that.
There is a phone with family on the end to calm you down and you have have done so very well indeed and I am hopeful that you will be fine - uncomfortable for a bit but you will cope with it all well.
Are you completely off your meds now ?
Meg
Anxiety is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind.
If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.
Robert Albert Bloch
Yeah i am completely off everything and my lsat CBT session is on 15th sept which is worrying. I am trying out different relaxtation techniques though which seem to help in the short term xx
H
Rennie1989
05-09-04, 17:56
WOW HB i couldnt go that far, ill get home sick, lol
im glad you want to be a RE teacher, are you religious your self
thanx for the encouraged ment
Scooter Girl
if i wa hungry would u feed me, if i fell u you help me up, if i was crying would brush away my tears
No im not at all religious but it just interests me, its not even about the bible and boring stuff anumore, its about moral issues and philosophy and stuff :-)
H
Hi Helen,
What have you decided to do about uni ?
Meg
Rennie1989
15-09-04, 19:58
sounds interesting!
Scooter Girl
if i was hungry would you feed me, if i fell you help me up, if i was crying would you brush away my tears
Hi there!!!
I remember when i went to uni, I was sick every day for a week, I cried all the way there in the car (which was a 4 hour drive!!!!) and begged my mum and dad not to leave me!!! I was fine after about 2 hours there on my own. I met some fantastic people and had the best experiance of my life and wish I could do it again. It was scary and exciting all at the same time. I am now a teacher, so don't be put off by your feelings, once you get there its great. Its a big step but its really worth it. Your A level results were great (much better then mine!) so don't worry about coping academically. Hang in there!!
mabel
Well i am off to uni in one week three days!!
H
Rennie1989
16-09-04, 15:00
can you still contact us!!!???
Scooter Girl
if i was hungry would you feed me, if i fell you help me up, if i was crying would you brush away my tears
Hi H
When are we truly ready for anything that is new to us.
We could put it of until the next life time as no one like major change, but you will be fine.
We are all here to support you and with your grades dont let them pass you by.
You did it on your own credit so derserve the move on and we will help you through it.
If you werent up to it you wouldnt have got the grades.
You are taking a big step but its a move forward that you deserve hon after what you have been through.
just look at how well you have done and take time to give yourself the praise you deserve.
Love Sal xxxxx
lilac kitten
27-09-04, 16:32
HB,
By now you will be at Uni, hope things are going really well.
When I first got my own place I used to phone my mum and dad in the night if I even felt sick.
That was 12 years ago, both my parents have passed away, I have a partner, and two children, and sick still terrifies me. But honestly, things get better with time, and you get to realise that you have to get on with it and have to cope - hard though it is.
I so hope you make the most of this opportunity at Uni, and that you cope OK. You've come such a long way to date you should be so proud of yourself.
Good luck sweetie,
Ruth
x
Rennie1989
27-09-04, 21:11
to be honest wid you if my parents past away i couldn live! but i am 14 anyway
Scooter Girl
if i was hungry would you feed me, if i fell you help me up, if i was crying would you brush away my tears
Hi Jade
You do so well and know you rely on your parents then dont rely on them so must be so hard for you but you do so well to cope.
You know we are always here if you want to talk.
You need to remember how well you are doing this term and forget saying sorry you havent let us down at all you had a bad time which we all have hon.
Love Sal xxxxx
Nothing to be sorry for. :D
You haven't let anyone down. I think you've done amazingly well.
It is only natural that a big step forward is going to create doubts.
You wouldn't be human other wise.
What if you go and have a great time and make new friends?
What if you explain your difficulties to a tutor so they can make provision to help and support you?
Don't be so tough on yourself. Take the plunge and have a great time.
Love, light and Best wishes
Liz xxx
With hard work and determination and all the things you know.
The world is there for you to take. There's nowhere you can't go.
[:p]Scatty Eccentric & 'Poet Laureate to panic and anxiety'
Rennie1989
30-09-04, 14:58
i havent let anyone down!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
see 'panic attacks at school' or the other one i did (which i forgot its' name, lol) and it sed something about child d. i had today, rather upsetting
Scooter Girl
if i was hungry would you feed me, if i fell you help me up, if i was crying would you brush away my tears
See, I really have let everyone down now... lasted 4 days at uni... am back home... not ready for it yet.
H
Rennie1989
02-10-04, 12:04
ow no, what happened?
Scooter Girl
if i was hungry would you feed me, if i fell you help me up, if i was crying would you brush away my tears
Hiya H
Just picked up on this thread but are you still at home or did you go back to uni? Love to hear how you're getting on and whatever way things have worked out, you certainly haven't let anyone down hun, just hope you're OK.
Best wishes, love Jo xx
Yeah i am still home Jo but things seem to be picking up... can go back to uni next year but just go to one that is nearby so thsat i can drive every day.. like driving and get to stay with my family at the same time... also have a new boyfriend which has given me so so so much more confidence in myself. Not relying on that lasting forver tho. Thanks for every bit of support guys.. dont know what id do without you!
H
Hi Helen,
Glad to hear you're more settled and happier .
Good to be making plans to get you to uni in an easier way . What might you do for this year?
Happy to hear about your new boyfriend !!
Meg
It is impossible to get out of a problem by using the same kind of thinking that it took to get into it.
- Albert Einstein.
Yeah thanks... he is really really nice. Have told him a little about what to expect with me sometimes and he is really intrigued to know more about it which i find quite settling... at least he didnt run a mile!!!
Just hope things stay a little bit more positive from now on.. could do with them staying up :-)
H
lilac kitten
25-10-04, 16:54
HB,
You have not let anyone down. Some things just aren't meant to be, and if you're not ready then theres no point in putting yourself through it, that won't aid your recovery.
You may also find something else you enjoy more and go a different direction altogether.
Your new boyfriend sounds nice, most people are understanding and those that aren't are missing out. You need to have some level of fear and panic its not normal not to.
Good luck and keep us posted, and never call yourself a failure - that you are certainly not.
Ruth
x
Glad to hear things are looking up for you.
You didnt let anyone down, at least you gave it a go.
Sue
Rennie1989
25-10-04, 20:26
HB
im happy for you that uv got an understanding boyfriend! with all men were lol
hope ur ok today, got to go to my m8s birthday party/re-union with my m8s from primary, worth looking foward to
Scooter Girl
if i was hungry would you feed me, if i fell you help me up, if i was crying would you brush away my tears
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