separation anxiety, fear of being alone

[Jw123]

Hi everyone, I'm looking for some advice please......
My partner is driving to Italy tomorrow from the UK, he's going out ahead of me joining him next week. I am so so worried about him. I'm convinced that when I wave him off tomorrow it will be the last time I see him. I can't stop crying even though I know that it upsets him when I'm like this. I'm also dreading being on my own at home for a week. Surely something terrible will happen??? I hate being on my own with my thoughts.
What to do??? I've got out all of my self help books, practised my CBT exercises but nothing is helping. It must be so wearing for him, I'm worried it will drive us apart.

Thanks for reading x

[Oosh]

Why would something terrible happen ? Aren't the odds MASSIVELY in favour of nothing happening ? That makes it very improbable something will happen.

What's the movie that plays in your head when you think of him away ? Change it so that he appears strong, confident, safe, productive, well looked after, a very boring safe movie. Visualise it and calm yourself down picturing it. It's just the opposite to visualising him in danger which is what you are doing now.

Your time while he's away - space and time to do all the things you enjoy !
So what are things you enjoy ?
List them. Plan them. Arrange them. Make it fun and enjoyable and then focus on it all.

If your mind starts to focus on him again play the boring safe movie.
The anxious movie plays - don't let it continue playing. Break it up, ruin it and only see the boring safe movie.

[duns]

This is directly relatable to me at the moment. My partner has been away for nine days and I have four more remaining. I am now beginning to panic about the two flights home that he has to take but desperately trying to rationalise my anxiety.

I have kept really busy with work ( are you working whilst he is away?) and kept particularly busy at the weekend, avoiding long spells in the house whenever possible. I've found a countdown particularly useful as I've enjoyed crossing off the days left. You will be fine but it probably doesn't feel like that now, I was in tears for a week and had a real break down on the first Friday night, now I'm not crying and finding the stress lifting slightly. You'll get there, I promise.

[Jw123]

Hi Duns and oosh, thanks both for your replies, it helps to know that there are others out there!
Duns, I totally get how you've been feeling. I am at work while he's away but am dreading tomorrow as I just know I'll be in meltdown. My colleagues are very tolerant but being quite a private person I'd rather meltdown on my own. The weekend is looming and I'm having a new hair do and then a shopping trip. Trouble is, I also get panicky about being away from home in case someone needs to contact me!! Nightmare!
Hey you're almost there, your husband WILL be safely home very soon. Have you something nice planned for his return? Good idea about crossing the days off, I'm going to do that.
Thanks again and I'll be here if you need reassurance.

[duns]

How are you coping so far? Hopefully you've seen that ticking off the days help -you've already managed a few. It's great that you have a busy weekend planned which will make things go even faster. I've got two days remaining but I think he will be delayed a day due to the weather in America.