No better

[elik]

Can't cope with the lack of closure from my ex. He has avoided my questions regarding me moving on and what the future is and as much as I know I should move on I can't until I have had a conversation with him. I know myself too well, I will hold onto him for a lot longer than I should until I get a dead straight answer. Honestly dont understand how people move on, he's all I want, all I need. I wish he could see how strongly I care for him, I don't think he has fully ever realised. I hope he wakes up and smells the coffee as I know he can't deal with commitment and doesn't want anything with anyone and I don't want to pressure him but I feel like my suffering is endless. Any advice on communicating this and how long I should give it? I'm thinking another month or two of this and I will NEED a conversation.

[Oosh]

I've been there. In my opinion you say it once then if a positive message doesn't come back you have to move on. It doesn't matter how bad you feel and how much you want them, if when given an opportunity to respond positively they choose not to then the you have to move on.

Trying to communicate with them again and again in the hope they'll somehow change isn't realistic.

I learned that in reality your best chance of getting someone back is to go away, be secure and do well. Having value attracts. Make him see you have value. Get on with your life and do well. Chasing and trying to persuade someone just has no value in other people's eyes.

Send him a final message with your questions. Just one.

(I know how difficult it is. It's a horrible, horrible thing to have to go through)

[elik]

I completely agree with you. I feel like I haven't fought for him though as I haven't don't much chasing at all and loads of people seem to think I should force him to speak as its not fair but I know him well enough to know that it won't work. I sent him a couple of messages three weeks after but that's quite early days and he responded to the first one. I think I'll leave it as you said and just disappear into my own life and if I feel the same in a month or two I will send a final text. The thing is I don't want to not have in my life and I'm not necessarily hoping to get back with him but to have some sort of friendship. Thanks, it truly is torturous