A bit lost. Counsellor palmed me off.

[Alice1]

I'm finally having the investigations I feel I need for my health.
But I am also trying to control my anxiety, and have been going to my university counselling service 3 times.
This helped, and if nothing else was nice where I could just talk about everything without being judged.
Apart from the limit is 6 sessions and although I've only done 3 the counsellor I saw essentially said she's going to refer me to the local counselling centre as she feels I have a high level of anxiety before saying she can't really help any further.
What this actually entails was writing a message of self referral to said centre in my name (and wrongly using a question mark. I mean seriously, please.) where you have to pay £10 per session. (I really can't afford this every week. I get very little money)

I just feel like I've just been labelled as too difficult and tossed away and it feels a bit like I'm on my own again.

I know this is stupid but it just helps to write it down.
At least it's a distraction from dying all the time, haha.
Thank you.

[Mrsmitchell1984]

How awful- sounds like she couldn't be bothered- not that you are beyond help.

Have you read the Claire weeks books- which are great for anxiety? You can read them whilst waiting for counselling on the nhs?

There is plenty of support here too. Wishing you all the best.

Xx

[.Poppy.]

Is there another counselor you could request? I know at my university's counseling center if you call back you can tell them who you had before and if you want them again or someone different.

Or, perhaps you could request someone with a degree (if that's a possibility). Again, we have counselors and then we have psychologists with phDs (which is who I spoke to).

I feel like they can't just turn you away, though maybe your rules are different.

Either way, I'm sorry. That was very unkind of her.

[louise123_uk]

Yeah I can see how that would just add to your problems. I saw a counsellor who works for the organisation I'm employed at, I got the sessions through Occ Health for work related bullying and stress, that was leading to anxiety at work. I saw a counsellor for three session who really seemed to get me exactly (it was scary), but then she went off on long term sick herself due to stress, and I got another counsellor who couldn't even keep the situation straight in her head from week to week, although to be fair it is a very complicated situation thats ongoing. She would kind of ignore how I felt and try and give me a kick up the bum to take action despite one of my most predominant features being that I felt trapped and unable to do anything, not that I wasn't aware of the options. She didn't really try to relate and even did the last session over the phone despite me saying I didn't want this kind of appointment.

As another poster has suggested above you could contact the counselling service and explain how you didn't feel you were a good match with the first counsellor (my first counsellor treated the first session as purely to find out if we were a match to work together, I think that should be the standard for the first appt) and would like to try another before being written off. If that doesn't work could you ask your doc about whether the rate for sessions is reduced for students perhaps (or even free) it doesn't seem right you'd have to pay the same as if you were working.

Hugs, I know the very person who is supposed to make you feel like they understand must be making you feel worse, but try not to let it get to you, its most likely just that your personalities weren't suited.

[Sunflower2]

Hey, I had a similar ish experience with my university counsellor, except worse! I had an initial appointment with one, who spent about 20 minutes interrogating me about my life, then blaming my issues on my mother, asking me way too personal things about my boyfriend, and then saying she couldn't help me as I had seen a mental health nurse through the nhs now and then. So I was left feeling completely angry, a bit embarassed and pretty frustrated about the situation!

I ended up being referred to a psychologist through the nhs although I know that this is a rare thing in the UK! Understand how you feel though, I hope you manage to find something that works for you!

[MyNameIsTerry]

Hi Alice,

My opinion differs on this because I know from reading codes of ethics by sush as BACP & BPS that they state this is the correct way for a therapist to handle a client that is beyond their ability. They shouldn't just say they can't help and show you the door, they should help you access the right service.

However, I'm a bit concerned about the £10 fee. Thats really cheap however you are entitled to get this help free on the NHS. Your GP can refer you to free care and if they follow the NICE stepped care model (I can post this if required) then you would be able to access Level 2 (which is probably similiar to what you have had) or Level 3 for high intensity which is CBT if an IAPT service (although they have started offering a new psychodynamic therapy recently).

If you are self referring, then you can do this to many of the free NHS funded services like in my city. Some of the charities charge for therapy and the fees can reflect the financial status however the NHS fund charities to provide these kinds of services for their GP referrals so I'm a bit concerned that your therapist is passing you to the wrong service for your needs.

[Mindknot]

I agree with Terry, it may feel like you've been shrugged off, but if the counsellor is unable to deal with your particular case because it's beyond their training, then it's better that they don't try! The £10 session part does sound a bit off, but perhaps it's a private provider, in which case that's cheap... or like Terry says, a charity. You might get to see someone faster that way, but the NHS services should still be available to you, but you will have to go via your GP to get the details probably. In the meantime, you can try the free course that's linked to these forums maybe....?

[Alice1]

I agree with Terry, it may feel like you've been shrugged off, but if the counsellor is unable to deal with your particular case because it's beyond their training, then it's better that they don't try! The £10 session part does sound a bit off, but perhaps it's a private provider, in which case that's cheap... or like Terry says, a charity. You might get to see someone faster that way, but the NHS services should still be available to you, but you will have to go via your GP to get the details probably. In the meantime, you can try the free course that's linked to these forums maybe....?

Thank you so much (to everyone the help and advice was so wonderful). I'm not annoyed with her, it just seemed like she really understood, as she's been through some similar things herself and I dunno, she just was really so lovely and I felt comfortable round her. It was just a bit sudden.
I will talk to my GP.
It might be because I had mentioned how I had tried the free course here, yoga, meditation, exercise, diet and books and nothing was really helping. I'll perhaps try a bit harder. It waxes and wanes really, but the symptoms are always present.
Thank you again guys. Much love.

[Mindknot]

It might be because I had mentioned how I had tried the free course here, yoga, meditation, exercise, diet and books and nothing was really helping. I'll perhaps try a bit harder. It waxes and wanes really, but the symptoms are always present.

Sounds like you may need to take one thing at a time and concentrate on it - I personally found yoga and meditation nigh on impossible when I was really anxious, so I started with exercise and some dietary modifications, introducing things slowly as I felt more up to it. The CBT stuff was a little bit too much straight away, you may need to clear your head a bit first to absorb it? Have a look at cpe1978's sticky post on the top here, and think about what your own plan for tackling your anxiety might be, then work through it step by step - unfortunately it's not something that gets fixed all at once, so take it easy and accept that there will be wobbles occasionally. :hugs: I'm not saying don't go to your GP for CBT (definitely do!), but if you have to wait a bit, then it will make you feel better to know that you are able to start doing something about your anxiety yourself.