greiving,feel ill and scared health anxiety is thriving

[stars22]

Before I start with my symtoms and my questions my grandad who was like a dad to me died yesterday I stayed with him for over two hours after he passed and I don't regret it I wish I could of stayed longer although I think maybe it's not the best as now my health anxiety well I hope it's health anxiety is on one .

My symtoms started before my grandad died yesterday I had sever out if breathless from walking just around the corner I then had stabbing pains in my stomach then I managed to calm.down and take my kids to a play centre I was finally ok feeling normal just very hungry I sat down to eat and got the phone call after I had finished eating and I was stressing because I couldn't get a taxi fast enough to him anyways I got there and I reacted not like I thought not just a cry my legs collapsed and I was near enough screaming the home down anyways I guess this is also my anxiety I then uncontrollable couldn't stop shaking and my sister said she got the shaking too I stayed there on my own when everybody left I couldn't leave him then I went home and all night I couldn't swollow properly at all I kept getting random pains like brain.freeze in parts of my head and eye and then I fell asleep after hours on end of it I woke this morning feeling ok this afternoon I started having a sort of tickle/horrible feeling while I breathed in my throat I can't explain it which is now in my throat chest and left arm it's so weird to explain iv been going to toilet a lot more today too I feel like I have the flu or something but without the typical symtoms it's so strange and I'm convinced I'm next to die and that I have what my grandad had ( non hodgkins lymphoma) or a brain anyrsm or something I then Google my symtoms and put greiving to see if this is normal or if I have a infection ect and it comes up with broken heart syndrome is real I'm. Now petrified I have this ! I feel selfish I need to be greiving properly yet I'm sat scared about myself .
Also I'm crying one minute thinking of him the next it's like I have no feelings I'm emotionless I know this is long and you probably won't read it all but I really feel I need to understand if this is normal or am I dying too ?

[herbie73]

Hi stars22, I'm really sorry about your loss, losing someone you love is extremely hard, you need to go easy on yourself at the moment as you are grieving for your grandad, this will also make your anxiety worse, all your symptoms are related to anxiety so try not to worry to much, if you need to talk, I am here if you need to get something of your chest, please take care and make sure you have you friends and family around you, this will help, take care Herbie xxx

[louise123_uk]

Aww I'm so sorry about your Grandad, I've lost a couple of people over last few years and know how tough it is, hugs x

All your symptoms do just sound like your very wrung out and exhautsed by all the stress and anxiety of the situation. I know when I get worked up I make myself feel really terrible with no energy, sore throat etc. I can remember feeling very shaky and exhausted when going through a big trauma like this. I think its normal to feel this bad just after a death, try to hang in there and perhaps be around people you can talk to and not on your own. x

[Steve1964]

So sorry to hear your news. Believe me, the trauma of the loss will pass, and what will be left are the lovely memories of someone you adored.

Hang in there.

[stars22]

Thank you all I just feel like a massive surge of anxiety has taken charge of me here if that makes sence I seem to be now tonight getting what I'm hoping is panic attack was fine stood up then all a sudden hearts 120+ and can hear the thumping in my ears then pain elbow down left arm of course so I think my anxiety is just taking right over at me it means a lot with your reply because it really helps putting my mind to rest xxx

[Ange1]

Really sorry about your grandad. I lost my very dear mum in law just under 3 months ago and It flared all my anxiety up big time including really bad HA. As others say be kind on yourself and allow the grieving to progress. It may take a while so allow yourself that time. I tried to push through it at first and made everything worse. Once I accepted it and also had a chat on the phone to Cruse which helped I began to calm down a bit. Big hugs :hugs: x