impossible
24-02-15, 21:34
So I'm 22, and have tried to move out twice - during my degree. Both times I became a wreck. This was due to a mix of things. I would hide in my room because I was in a shared dorm and became scared of seeing anyone. I felt homesick, and missed my home and family. I don't deal with change well at all. I ended up moving home and doing a four hour round trip to uni every day.
Anyway, fast forward. I have my degree now, and I'm doing a postgrad course. I am now looking for jobs to start in September. Trouble is there are not many close to me, at least not commutable, so I think realistically if I want a job I will have to move out and move away.
I would be quite happy to live at home with my parents forever if I could. Not only does it avoid the change that I fear, but I have an unnatural attachment to my parents. My counsellor thinks that this is because of my rocky family situation, which has led to me feeling as if I am the only thing holding the family together. I definitely think that is true. My parents are only together because of me, and without sounding arrogant, I really do hold them and the household together. I worry about what would happen if I left. I fear I would feel as if I need to go home and check all the time.
I don't know what to do. There are jobs coming up in cities I'd love to live and work in, but I'm not applying for any that I feel I would have to move out for. It scares me a lot, and the job will mentally take it out of me, without balancing a new job and a new place. That is a lot of change for someone who doesn't adapt well.
Sorry that this is a lot of info. If anyone has any advice I'd be really grateful.
Anyway, fast forward. I have my degree now, and I'm doing a postgrad course. I am now looking for jobs to start in September. Trouble is there are not many close to me, at least not commutable, so I think realistically if I want a job I will have to move out and move away.
I would be quite happy to live at home with my parents forever if I could. Not only does it avoid the change that I fear, but I have an unnatural attachment to my parents. My counsellor thinks that this is because of my rocky family situation, which has led to me feeling as if I am the only thing holding the family together. I definitely think that is true. My parents are only together because of me, and without sounding arrogant, I really do hold them and the household together. I worry about what would happen if I left. I fear I would feel as if I need to go home and check all the time.
I don't know what to do. There are jobs coming up in cities I'd love to live and work in, but I'm not applying for any that I feel I would have to move out for. It scares me a lot, and the job will mentally take it out of me, without balancing a new job and a new place. That is a lot of change for someone who doesn't adapt well.
Sorry that this is a lot of info. If anyone has any advice I'd be really grateful.