Dan21
16-01-07, 10:28
Hi everyone.
I’m hoping that I might get a bit of advice as I’m feeling really, really rough at the moment. And I want to apologise for the gross bits of my post.
For about the last four or five days, I’ve been feeling achy. Achy legs, back, nape of the neck, across my midriff and around my groin. It almost feels like I have flu but without the cold symptoms. I had a days teaching observation yesterday and I’m just so thankful that I have a day spare today as I’m absolutely knackered. I feel like I’ve run a marathon.
I got home yesterday and on top of feeling so rough, it felt like I was constipated (kind of prickly feeling when I needed to go). Anyway, after a bit of discomfort, that situation resolved itself and I felt a little better.
The thing is, I really want to look at things in perspective. Finding out we are having our first child in the summer is something that is stressing me out a bit. Plus, my wife has been suffering with pretty bad morning sickness which means that I have been doing pretty much everything around the house for the last two weeks as well as studying, plus getting up first thing to make my wife’s lunch so she doesn’t have to smell any food as this aggravates her condition. I’m not complaining, just trying to show what I’ve been up to.
Plus, I think that being told that I am going to be a Dad has brought to the surface the pain of Dad dying last summer and all the insecurities that I have about being a father and my health. I stopped going to counselling just before Christmas as things seemed to be progressing quite well and it was then that I decided (with my counsellor) that it might be a good time to take a break. But, I feel like I’ve slipped right back to where I was before.
Still aching as write all of this. I’m terrified that there is something really wrong with me as I feel so off colour. My wife said she thinks that it is my ‘anxiety/stress/worry related reaction’ to the news of our baby. I had a similar bout of fatigue after we got married. I know it sounds stupid but I’m almost out of my mind with worry here. Too scared to forget about it but equally as terrified to go to the doctors, I truly don’t know which way to turn. Plus on top of it all, I know that the last thing my wife and unborn baby need is any element of stress or worry about me.
I keep thinking that all of these symptoms might just be psychosomatic, but that small part of my brain that controls my HA is easily convincing my rational brain that all of these twinges and aches could be the underlying signs of some awful disease. I also wonder if it is possible to feel bad because you are more aware of certain parts of your body? For instance I’m very aware at the moment of the ache around my groin and I cant seem to forget about it, so it seems to perpetuate the whole process.
I don’t know if I have explained myself very well here or not, I don’t even know if what I am feeling is a stress induced state or if I’m suffering from some kind of virus, flu or something worse.
[V][V][V][V][V][V][V][V][V][V][V][V][V]
-----------------------------
I want to go up to my anxiety, smile, put my arm around it and say to it caringly, 'Hey! How are you? How's your day been?'
Then, just as its about to answer me, I wanna throw a sack over it and give it a hiding within an inch of its life.
That would be nice.
I’m hoping that I might get a bit of advice as I’m feeling really, really rough at the moment. And I want to apologise for the gross bits of my post.
For about the last four or five days, I’ve been feeling achy. Achy legs, back, nape of the neck, across my midriff and around my groin. It almost feels like I have flu but without the cold symptoms. I had a days teaching observation yesterday and I’m just so thankful that I have a day spare today as I’m absolutely knackered. I feel like I’ve run a marathon.
I got home yesterday and on top of feeling so rough, it felt like I was constipated (kind of prickly feeling when I needed to go). Anyway, after a bit of discomfort, that situation resolved itself and I felt a little better.
The thing is, I really want to look at things in perspective. Finding out we are having our first child in the summer is something that is stressing me out a bit. Plus, my wife has been suffering with pretty bad morning sickness which means that I have been doing pretty much everything around the house for the last two weeks as well as studying, plus getting up first thing to make my wife’s lunch so she doesn’t have to smell any food as this aggravates her condition. I’m not complaining, just trying to show what I’ve been up to.
Plus, I think that being told that I am going to be a Dad has brought to the surface the pain of Dad dying last summer and all the insecurities that I have about being a father and my health. I stopped going to counselling just before Christmas as things seemed to be progressing quite well and it was then that I decided (with my counsellor) that it might be a good time to take a break. But, I feel like I’ve slipped right back to where I was before.
Still aching as write all of this. I’m terrified that there is something really wrong with me as I feel so off colour. My wife said she thinks that it is my ‘anxiety/stress/worry related reaction’ to the news of our baby. I had a similar bout of fatigue after we got married. I know it sounds stupid but I’m almost out of my mind with worry here. Too scared to forget about it but equally as terrified to go to the doctors, I truly don’t know which way to turn. Plus on top of it all, I know that the last thing my wife and unborn baby need is any element of stress or worry about me.
I keep thinking that all of these symptoms might just be psychosomatic, but that small part of my brain that controls my HA is easily convincing my rational brain that all of these twinges and aches could be the underlying signs of some awful disease. I also wonder if it is possible to feel bad because you are more aware of certain parts of your body? For instance I’m very aware at the moment of the ache around my groin and I cant seem to forget about it, so it seems to perpetuate the whole process.
I don’t know if I have explained myself very well here or not, I don’t even know if what I am feeling is a stress induced state or if I’m suffering from some kind of virus, flu or something worse.
[V][V][V][V][V][V][V][V][V][V][V][V][V]
-----------------------------
I want to go up to my anxiety, smile, put my arm around it and say to it caringly, 'Hey! How are you? How's your day been?'
Then, just as its about to answer me, I wanna throw a sack over it and give it a hiding within an inch of its life.
That would be nice.