ikkle_Vix
16-01-07, 10:52
Hiya :) I just wanted to try and share my story again because I accidently deleted it all after I wrote it last time [:I] hehe.
Anyways where to begin... When I was very young I was taken to go and see someone about the way I was, I think it was a counciler or sombody like that because my parents were a bit concerned about me. I used to make sure the doors upstairs in my house were closed at all times and when we were out I would check the bottom of my shoes every minute or so to make sure they were clean, my room was also emaculate.
After a while; going to talk to someone every so often must have been helping because I got out of the habit of closing all the doors and checking my shoes, although I still like my room to be clean and tidy.
At school I was always the sensible one that couldn't bare to be late to my lessons and never skive off, which made me fall out with a few of my friends because I was boring and too sensible...I suppose it's a good thing that I am sensible though.
As the years went by I started to forget all about how I was in the past and I just thought I was a sensible person. Until I got with my boyfriend that is. I am a huge worrier and am constantly worrying about something which is why myself and others around me believe I have OCD.
I know this is not what you want to know about but when me and my boyfriend started to get intimate my worries started to really show. We were using protection and I was on the pill and have been for around a year and a half now. The first time my mum found out me and my boyfriend were intimate, was because I was crying my eyes out telling her I thought I was pregnant. Every month I would worry myself silly thinking I could be pregnant, making myself ill and ofcorse because I thought I may be pregnant I thought I was getting the symptoms of a pregnancy. Although people were promising me time and time again including the doctor that I was NOT pregnant. I still wouldn't listen. Like I said I have been on the pill for over a year now and am only just getting over my pregnancy worry and finally understand I can not get pregnant on the pill and that I AM taking it correctly...I now understand it.
But as soon as I was getting over this worry ofcorse another one began.
My boyfriend was attacked when I was with him. Pleae read --> http://www.thecomet.net/content/comet/news/story.aspx?brand=CMTOnline&category=News&tBrand=herts24&tCategory=newscomnew&itemid=WEED12%20Oct%202006%2011%3A13%3A02%3A400
This attack happened at the end of my road and the gang of youths still often hang around there attracted by the druggys that have recently moved in to our street. I stay at my boyfriends every weekend as it gets worse then and sometimes there are about 30 of them. I hate my boyfriend driving to my house and don't want him picking me up and dropping me home...Dad is my 24 hour taxi at the moment because I get sooo worried about my boyfriend coming anywhere near my street. I stay clear of my local shops where they also hang around sometimes and I feel sick everytime I know I might see them.
What is not helping my situation is that I found out from this incident how rubbish the police are round my area therefore I don't feel safe anymore. I was a nervous person even before this happened.
Everyone tells me not to worry, that it won't happen again and that everything is fine but I still can't stop worrying and people are starting to get annoid of my worry's. Although I know I have so much support.
Mum gets so worried about me...My worries are causing my mum worries because sometimes it makes me ill.
I have court on 8th March and hope things get better soon.
Thankyou for your time
Vikki
-x-
x Vix x
Anyways where to begin... When I was very young I was taken to go and see someone about the way I was, I think it was a counciler or sombody like that because my parents were a bit concerned about me. I used to make sure the doors upstairs in my house were closed at all times and when we were out I would check the bottom of my shoes every minute or so to make sure they were clean, my room was also emaculate.
After a while; going to talk to someone every so often must have been helping because I got out of the habit of closing all the doors and checking my shoes, although I still like my room to be clean and tidy.
At school I was always the sensible one that couldn't bare to be late to my lessons and never skive off, which made me fall out with a few of my friends because I was boring and too sensible...I suppose it's a good thing that I am sensible though.
As the years went by I started to forget all about how I was in the past and I just thought I was a sensible person. Until I got with my boyfriend that is. I am a huge worrier and am constantly worrying about something which is why myself and others around me believe I have OCD.
I know this is not what you want to know about but when me and my boyfriend started to get intimate my worries started to really show. We were using protection and I was on the pill and have been for around a year and a half now. The first time my mum found out me and my boyfriend were intimate, was because I was crying my eyes out telling her I thought I was pregnant. Every month I would worry myself silly thinking I could be pregnant, making myself ill and ofcorse because I thought I may be pregnant I thought I was getting the symptoms of a pregnancy. Although people were promising me time and time again including the doctor that I was NOT pregnant. I still wouldn't listen. Like I said I have been on the pill for over a year now and am only just getting over my pregnancy worry and finally understand I can not get pregnant on the pill and that I AM taking it correctly...I now understand it.
But as soon as I was getting over this worry ofcorse another one began.
My boyfriend was attacked when I was with him. Pleae read --> http://www.thecomet.net/content/comet/news/story.aspx?brand=CMTOnline&category=News&tBrand=herts24&tCategory=newscomnew&itemid=WEED12%20Oct%202006%2011%3A13%3A02%3A400
This attack happened at the end of my road and the gang of youths still often hang around there attracted by the druggys that have recently moved in to our street. I stay at my boyfriends every weekend as it gets worse then and sometimes there are about 30 of them. I hate my boyfriend driving to my house and don't want him picking me up and dropping me home...Dad is my 24 hour taxi at the moment because I get sooo worried about my boyfriend coming anywhere near my street. I stay clear of my local shops where they also hang around sometimes and I feel sick everytime I know I might see them.
What is not helping my situation is that I found out from this incident how rubbish the police are round my area therefore I don't feel safe anymore. I was a nervous person even before this happened.
Everyone tells me not to worry, that it won't happen again and that everything is fine but I still can't stop worrying and people are starting to get annoid of my worry's. Although I know I have so much support.
Mum gets so worried about me...My worries are causing my mum worries because sometimes it makes me ill.
I have court on 8th March and hope things get better soon.
Thankyou for your time
Vikki
-x-
x Vix x