Something wrong with me.

[Mrsh11]

My anxiety is back again, this time set off by some pretty nasty criticism at work. What is worrying me though is that the criticism related to my attitude, I am too clinical and not warm enough. It upset a patient apparently but now I worry that there is something fundamentally wrong with my personality and that my anxiety makes it worse. When I feel threatened I go quiet and withdrawn and it looks like I don't care when really I care very much and hate the thought of upsetting people. I can't change who I am but I just feel like crying. I know I am very introverted but really do try hard to be friendly, sorry if this sounds like a silly overreaction but I cannot stop worrying about what is wrong with me.

[lior]

Not much wisdom I can offer here I'm afraid. I sometimes feel like this too.

It is possible to change who you are. People change, all the time.

Just because other people perceive you to be a certain way, it doesn't mean that you are what they think you are on the inside. If you do exhibit other behaviour, over time how they perceive you will change.

It's not an over reaction. Reflecting on how other people perceive you can be useful to a certain extent - it's an opportunity for you to experiment with other behaviours to see if it makes a difference.

When I was at music school, my singing teacher got me to do an exercise where I would sing every line in a different style, like a different singer. That helped me break out of one style of singing and got me to experiment with new sounds in my voice. Similarly, sometimes I experiment with each new person I meet by acting in a slightly different way and seeing what the effects are. It helps me figure out what behaviour works. It stops me from feeling like I'm tied to being one way forever - I can change minute by minute depending on what experiences I create for myself through my behaviour.

Do you see what I'm getting at? I do believe you can change, if you want to... experimenting is fun. You're here today and gone tomorrow, so you might as well be playful with the time you have.

That's not to say that I believe you should change. I just mean that you do have the power to, if you want to.

[H.Daniel]

There is nothing wrong with you, don't worry too much. There are a lot of people who feel just like you and you are like this because like you said you are an introvert so this is just the way you are.

People need to accept you the way you are and you need to stop trying to please everybody. It is almost impossible to please everybody so it is pointless to even try. Do your job the best you can and be fair to everybody all the time and you will see how people will respect and appreciate you.

Take care!