View Full Version : failed to quite smoking.gutted
after nearly three days of non smoking,today the urges were just to strong all day long.felt realy depressed and anxious.i gave in to the urges and started smoking.im gutted and very dissapointed with myself.when im smoking my chest is bad..very bad wheezing and unhelthy...i really want to give up but failed...
venusbluejeans
04-03-15, 20:42
Nope you haven't failed Greg...... you went nearly 3 days as a non-smoker that is a success, next time it maybe longer....... as the saying goes "if at first you don't suceed try, try and try again"
Well done for trying Greg and you can do this...keep trying!
2296
thankyou girls thats made me feel a bit better..i will try again.but i need to get my head together and in the right place..three days so i will do it next time
So sorry to hear that Greg... its so tough I know but you tried and maybe when your head is right (I know that feeling) you can have another go.
Sarah
sarah the anoining thing aboit it is,when i smoke my chest is really bad..wheezing.so i know iv goto give up..i just miss the company of ot,the routen the rolling up.standing in the sun having a smoke..i will def try again soon.i need to for my health..
Today thursday,iv woken up feeling so flat and depressed,dont know if this is because im disapointed in myself or what,but feel quite low and anxious and wound up,even the tv is anoing me,hate all this mood changing crap,just want to feel happy again,starting to forget what that feels like
MyNameIsTerry
05-03-15, 10:43
Its not a failure Greg, its just a bump in the road, a lesson learnt...us lot on here are well used to that mate!
I think its always going to be tougher if you have all this too as the mood changes, the hunger, edgeiness, will make you question whether it's anxiety or depression and we tend to focus on the wrong things.
So, be kind to yourself. You did 3 days, try getting a smoker to not take their alloted workbreak on time and they go bananas!!! So, they wouldn't easily do 3 days.
Give it a little break, start again. Expect that it will be hard, that mood changes will happen, write positives down, etc.
I think with your isolation situation it makes it easier to fall into the trap. You need to somehow keep yourself busy for a bit, even mundane crap.
thanks terry for the suport.just wish i had friends and a life.im so lonely and isolated,my days are so boring and deppressing.my mental health is bad enough without the extra withdraw from giving up smoking.it was fine for two days,then it just hit me on day three,i just came over irratable and very depressed and my wilpower just went..the thing is,my chest is so bad i need to give up smoking,but i miss it.sitting in town making a roll up.its like a friend,compay,but its bad company really because in the long run its going to kill me..i will try again..just bloody fedup mate
at least you tried thats what counts,try again when your feeling a little bit stronger or just cut down to less fags a day,a bit like weaning off meds
well i got some tobako yesterday andy and findvit hard to cut down if i have it.so im going to smoke this then go for it again...
MyNameIsTerry
05-03-15, 11:45
My dad said the same, he enjoyed smoking. He had qui before and go back to it as well. It was just the fright of finding a lump that scared him into it in the end or else I don't think he would have bothered. He says he still feels the habit of rolling them or having something in his hand years later but it doesn't make him feel he needs to smoke now.
If you weren't so isolated Greg, it would be easier for you but its hard to know what to suggest sometimes as you seem trapped by geography! I'm trapped by my OCD sleep pattern issues so I'm asleep in the day and out at night when barely anyone is about so I get the isolation but at least I have family at home and know when I sort the sleep issues, I can get to some volunteering or support groups with being in a city.
Have you got any projects at home? Any DIY? I remember you said you liked making stuff with wood so is there any about anywhere that you can just set your mind to for a bit?
Is there nothing from the drop in centre that they do? Any opportunities there?
---------- Post added at 11:45 ---------- Previous post was at 11:43 ----------
well i got some tobako yesterday andy and findvit hard to cut down if i have it.so im going to smoke this then go for it again...
Good luck with it then Greg, the fact you are willing to keep trying says you are not giving up on kicking them.
And remember, you didn't fail, you just didn't get all the way and thats different.
jesus terry i couldnt begin to understand how hard that must be not sleeling at night and being awake all night,thats tough mate.at least i get sleep at night..so what do you do all night long..maybe you should look into getting a security gaurd job through the night.
MyNameIsTerry
05-03-15, 12:51
You get used to it, it becomes the new normal.
I tend to find myself watching TV, being on the Internet or gaming. If does limit what I can do greatly not only because of everything being closed but also I can't do anything noisy in the night because of disturbing others. I also go out walking and in any supermarkets that are 24hr. It's not ideal walking some of the places I go at night but you get used to keeping an eye on your surroundings.
Security is one option I've thought about but I think it would be better soring this issue or work may become another excuse.
It's just a different reason for being lonely but I have my family here otherwise, apart from talking on here, the only words I would end up speaking would be to say hello to one of the staff in the supermarket.
It used to get me down really badly. The only thing that changed is taking Omega 3's. My mood has been much better since and more stable. The Duloxetine certainly did nothing for that and part of me actually wonders if it's responsible because I can't remember all these trigger less mood swings on Citalopram.
Bedtime for me. You take care mate.
wow what a lifestyle terry.wouldnt suiet me..well at least you are used to it and have family around you for support..hope you get yourself sorted mate,thats not a good lifestyle..take care mate and thanks for yur support.
Terry, you give such a lot to people on here yet are also suffering badly yourself. You must be exhausted from pushing yourself so hard to recover?
I agree with you about SNRIs-no doubt in years to come they will be withdrawn from use?
Good for you to try and give up smoking greg.I have tried many times to stop tried everything I have cut back which is a start.It is 11.30 pm and I having a smoke with a cup of coffee,I do try and not smoke when my husband comes home,with him being doctor all he does is go on and on about it,I do not need to be lectured on the perils of smoking
Keep trying greg you Will stop.
Petra :D
Petra, that's what I miss. Having a nice strong cup of coffee and a smoke.
Ah well!!
Greg, Is there any night classes at the local school or college you could join?
Woodwork, Painting or something similar. for an interest.
Sitting around town will not help your bad chest.
Years ago I joined many classes I did this myself to make friends.
Greg,You need to build your confidence up.
I have had a blip myself this morning. Had a drag. Had to put it out.
Washed my hands, cleaned my teeth. felt really dirty and guilty.
Do as MrAndy says try to cut down a bit at a time.
It's your health I am concerned about. Look after yourself :hugs:xx
I know what you mean about the "rolling" therapy, fag and coffee, your friend. I'm thinking about it now:noangel: BUT I know how I would feel if I had a ciggie now... disappointed and angry with myself. Exactly how you are feeling right now. I started by using the disposable Nicorette ciggie which were £7 each. That let me feel that I was smoking with my coffee and after a meal. They definitely helped. I used them for 3 weeks until I realised how expensive they were and also I knew I wanted to break the "habit". My anxiety wheezy chest went within 48hrs. About a month later (on my birthday) I had a sneaky couple and immediately felt anxious again. So in my head when ever I want one now I think of how I don't want to be anxious or wheezy, I take a quick couple of sprays from the Nicorette spray and that urge passes.
But I know that I had to be in a strong place mentally to stop. When people ask me now a say "I am a smoker but I am choosing not to smoke at the moment". Mentally I will always be a "smoker" because I enjoyed it, but physically I feel much better for not smoking.
Good luck Greg...the time will be right for you to stop. Don't beat yourself up.
Sarah
Thanks guys for all your advice,im still looking into vol work in my area but having no luck,collage courses is out of the question because they have closed my local collage for referb and wont be open for a long time,i feel the benefits of quitting smoking outway the cons of smoking,i will try again.i do need to build up my confedance but just dont know how to,without working and having a normal life i just cant seem to find a way forward,im waiting for a appt to be given to me for phycolagy so should get a few sesions which might help with my mind,i so long to talk to someone about my life,i have so much on my mind that i need to get out there and get advice for.my mind is so heavy with stress and sadness this is why smoking is helping,but at the same time causing me stress because it makes my chest so bad,im in a visious circle,,good i wish i was someone eles
There's so much resignation in your words and that saddens me. IMO, resignation is an excuse to stop trying and when one stops trying, that's when it becomes failure. The fact that you did try is a positive. I know it's hard... believe me I know. It's been over two years and I still get the cravings.
You've been on the forum long enough to realize that change comes from within and nothing anyone can say here will change that. My wish and hope is that everyone come to a place of healing and move on from this affliction. I hope you become one of them.
Positive thoughts
fishman.i can see what you are saying.you are right in what you say,but i cant help the way im feeling.iv been up and down over the last couple of years since i split from my wife and kids and home.iv moved 6 times looked for work and tried everything pos to help myself but nothing has worked.iv never got over yhe trumatic event that put me in the mind set that i live in .its bern over 10 years and im tired of it pulling me down and destroying my life.and now living on my own in a lonely isolated life,im finding it so hard to pick myself up and get possitive.i lost everything two years ago.my home my job my wife my kids hobbies etc friends.everything and still wish i had it all back.my life is dull and lonely...i try everything poss to help myself..i find venting on NMP helps,iv made some good friends in hear that have got to know me well,and do post on other peoples posts when i can..i am trying mate
fishman.i can see what you are saying.you are right in what you say,but i cant help the way im feeling.iv been up and down over the last couple of years since i split from my wife and kids and home.iv moved 6 times looked for work and tried everything pos to help myself but nothing has worked.iv never got over yhe trumatic event that put me in the mind set that i live in .its bern over 10 years and im tired of it pulling me down and destroying my life.and now living on my own in a lonely isolated life,im finding it so hard to pick myself up and get possitive.i lost everything two years ago.my home my job my wife my kids hobbies etc friends.everything and still wish i had it all back.my life is dull and lonely...i try everything poss to help myself..i find venting on NMP helps,iv made some good friends in hear that have got to know me well,and do post on other peoples posts when i can..i am trying mate
I pray you find the way and path to healing.
Positive thoughts and prayers
Greg I loved smoking, but knew I had to give up, so I switched to vaping, took a while to get used to it, but then it became normal. I did that for a year, then started using lozenges, on and off with vaping until lozenges became normal, then I just started to forget to take them and now nothing.
I do really miss smoking because I really enjoyed it, but this way worked for me.
MyNameIsTerry
06-03-15, 08:23
wow what a lifestyle terry.wouldnt suiet me..well at least you are used to it and have family around you for support..hope you get yourself sorted mate,thats not a good lifestyle..take care mate and thanks for yur support.
Cheers Greg, I appreciate that. I hope you can too because isolation is a real breeding ground for depression. We need some level of interaction, if only to take us out of ourselves!
---------- Post added at 08:23 ---------- Previous post was at 08:20 ----------
Terry, you give such a lot to people on here yet are also suffering badly yourself. You must be exhausted from pushing yourself so hard to recover?
I agree with you about SNRIs-no doubt in years to come they will be withdrawn from use?
Thanks Pulisa, I really appreciate that. :flowers:
I'm exhausted from lack of sleep although some days its not too bad and others its not great at all. I just get stuck in big ruts a lot. Believe me, I'm, far better than I was early on in my relapse when doing anything other than just sitting on the settee all day was worrying.
I'm just not sold on SNRI's, the studies don't seem to show they are better than SSRI's so is seems its more about extending the choice to move people between rather than any reason for them being any use. Hopefully they will go and hopefully they all will in favour of something with less side effects!
You do an incredible job on here, Terry. It's exhausting just trying to motivate oneself when dealing with challenging circumstances let alone trying to help others.
Greg, it must be terribly depressing when you're isolated and feel that nothing is working out for you. Would you not just consider trying to contact your daughter again? You're still a Dad and nothing/no one can take that status away from you?
dazza.that was a good way of coming of the smokes...glad that worked out for you mate...as you said you always miss the smokes because of the routen with them but you have learnt to ignore it now.id love to be in that place...i will give it up again i want to kick the habbit....
pulisa..i do contact my girl by tex,facebook etc but she dsnt bother getting back to me.its as if she is used to life without me in it and has got used to me not being in it.she dsnt seem bothered..i dont get any text messages out of the blue from her,saying i love you dad etc.and when i text just to ask how her day has beeen ,i dont even get a reply...this hurts makes me feel redundant...and no longer needed...
how old is she Greg ?,it could just be a phase shes going through.my Daughter only wants her mom and wont do anything I tell her to,it upsets me but I know she will grow out of it one day
well i split up two years ago now when she was 11 she will bw 13 in may...i hardly ever get any contact from her and has been very rare in the last two years.its got longer between visits and contact
MyNameIsTerry
06-03-15, 10:05
She's entering a difficult age Greg which may account for it. Hopefully in time you will get this all back in your life mate.
at that age she wont be interested in parents she will be txting and facebooking with her mates,she will grow out of it.All you can do for now is be there when she is ready
thats what other people have said..ill have to sit and wait as you say andy..i do miss her tho.havnt seen her since last october..long time
thats what other people have said..ill have to sit and wait as you say andy..i do miss her tho.havnt seen her since last october..long time
I can only imagine how painful that must be that is a long long time,cant you speak to her mother about it ?
its complicated andy.my problem is,getting her over to me.she dsnt live local and her mum wont bring her to me.and i cant aford the bus fares.plus my girl shows no real interest.so its kind of just been left at that..my family keep telling me to just leave it untill she is older and wants to make an efort to see me,but iv found it hard not seeing her grow up.iv missed out on so much...just things like not seeing her at her school sports dsy,school plays etc.not giving her a kiss before bedtime etc etc..just feel a stranger
MyNameIsTerry
06-03-15, 10:40
I like the fact you keep up Greg. Its a difficult issue and whilst she may well come around in time, I wonder if you stopped contacting her whether she would see it as a sign of not caring which is far from the case? So, perhaps writing to keep you in her mind and the fact you do love her despite the distance, will pay off later?
well terry i do still text her and facebook her,but she hardly ever replies but i know she is reading my messages.so every few days i message her just to let her know i love her and am thinking of her,even if she dsnt reply.at least i know she had read my message and knows her dsd loves her and misses her.so im keeping my hand in like that and will continue to do so untill she makes contact in some way.
its complicated andy.my problem is,getting her over to me.she dsnt live local and her mum wont bring her to me.and i cant aford the bus fares.plus my girl shows no real interest.so its kind of just been left at that..my family keep telling me to just leave it untill she is older and wants to make an efort to see me,but iv found it hard not seeing her grow up.iv missed out on so much...just things like not seeing her at her school sports dsy,school plays etc.not giving her a kiss before bedtime etc etc..just feel a stranger
as a parent i really do understand,I take my daughter to gymnastics every saturday it takes most of the day but just to see her having fun with the other kids is priceless.My advice is to keep trying as not to lose total contact with her,she will come round
yea i will mate..those moments of just seeing your kids smile and have fun is so special..even the christmas time.i didnt see her at christmas at all...when i lived with her at home,every christmas eve,i loved the wraping up the pressents etc,and my little girl used to leave out a biscut and milk for santa,i used to be involved in getting this ready with her.then late at night i would put talcom powder up the stairs and put footprnts in it,when she woke she allways thought farther christmas had been and walked up the stairs.i loved doing this every year..i miss that.and every sunday,just me and her would bake cakesfor a couple of hrs.i miss all these moments
MyNameIsTerry
06-03-15, 11:12
They think they are mature at that age but aren't and there are so many changes and pressures that will be adding on top of this Greg so I agree I think you are doing what you can when you can and in time she will come to realise that you are there and that if it wasn't for distance, you would be in her life a lot more. Maybe it will come sooner than you think, she might be struggling a bit with all the change or perhaps she has done this to cope.
Did you have a good relationship before?
your right terry..yes we had a fantastic relationship.we clicked in many ways.i used to do many things with her,as i say baking cakes was her favourat time with me,every sunday we would do this.we used to play games and stuff..she loved me very much and was very upset when i split up and left the family home.she wrote a few deep letters to me at the begining and i saw her quite often in the begining.we used to just hang out and enjoy each others company.things were great.its just been over the last 15 months things have faded.i think because i havnt been able to see her much that she has just got used to not seeing me anymore,and is just getting on with her life without me in it.
Is there no way you could travel to see her, greg? Could your parents help with the travel costs? Does she still have contact with your parents?
At least it might give you some motivation in life if you were to get back in regular contact with your girl. You have every right to see her as a Dad. Maybe your ex is behind the disinterest she is apparently showing towards you?
my parents dont drive anymore and the bus is to expencive for me to pick her uo and drop her back...im only on £72 a week and struggle to pay the bills on my flat..hard to make ends meet...not sure there is another way round it..its tricky.
---------- Post added at 13:44 ---------- Previous post was at 13:42 ----------
she dsnt contact my parents thats faded away over the months gone by..my parents are in sheltered housing and i dont like to involve them.they simply dont want the stress
As for the smoking i tried about 5 times in the end i managed last year been about 12 months.
good to know lee.thanks..i will do it again
I beat myself up over it as well was so proud, Thought yes ive cracked it, and then day 3 it starts to get harder for sure, I used patches i got from the doctor and gradually cut them down.
Had a fag in one hand with a patch on , It aint easy.
The good thing is you got your mind set on it now and you obviously want to and you will, if not this time another time, it will just happen.
Think of the money you could save by ditching smoking? Or at least cutting down? That weekly £72 may last a bit longer?
lee.i might go on the patches.im on nicorett sprays and not sure thete working.when i go back ill ask for the patches...pulisa.i spend £15 per week on tobaco so if i crack it,ill save £60 a month.worth doing for sure.i do want to kick the habit
£15 a week is a significant chunk. That alone could motivate you to cut back? The better weather is on its way so maybe you could put your potential savings towards travel? Going on some days out-nothing major but just a change of scenery somewhere pleasant? Sometimes this can give you a better perspective on things?
I know it's not easy to get out of a "rut" especially when everything seems as if it's against you. It's exhausting too but Fishmanpa is right in his advice to you. Don't let despair and resignation win the day-there's always a way forward if you are determined to find one
pulisa.im going back to the doctors and going to ask to be put on the patches this time.maybe they will be better.the extra money will be great.i will give up the smokes and use the cash for better things
MyNameIsTerry
07-03-15, 07:20
I think you should get some post-it notes Greg and stick them on your fags, on the front door, etc that say "I will have £15 more per week when I've quit to do more things and see my daughter".
It may make you think again and bring your resolve back.
Wishing you all the very best, Greg. Terry, that's a good idea and will be an extra safeguard. Nicotine is hugely addictive so it won't be easy but there's a lot of free medical-led help out there in order to help people quit with support. The support is vital though.
AlexandriaUK
07-03-15, 09:26
Hi I quit 5 + years ago and haven't wanted to smoke since, its helped in lots of ways so go for it, this site helped me quit and stay quit, its run by BHF and the support is amazing, hope they don't mind me putting link on here.
Quitting at first is hard but after a while it helps with the anxiety as well.
Use same user name and I will come find you LOL
Good luck
http://forum.nosmokingday.org.uk/online
not a bad idea terry...iv got appt in a week.to see the quit smoking lady,so im going to tell her ehat happend and ask for the patches.i might be better off on them as they release a small amount into the system .wheres as the mouth spray,you just spray when you get a craving...
---------- Post added at 10:20 ---------- Previous post was at 10:17 ----------
alexandria.thats possitive .ill look onto your link...thanks
I used that spray as well and I didn't get on with it, the nicoretts are pretty good my dad gave up on these, gives your hands something to do.
lre i think ill give yhe patches a go.if they dont work ill try what your dad used
Just checking in to see how this is going...
Positive thoughts
Hi fishman.still a smoker..iv tried twice and just cant do it.i think its my lifestyle.the bordom in my life ,not working etc.iv got to much time on my hands and cant fight the urges,even with the patches and sprays.i will try again tho when i feel a bit stronger
At least you tried Greg,you will get there in the end
Take CAre. From Petra who smokes:D
Hi Greg
just wanted to drop in and say hello,hope your doing well
Hi andy,thanks mate.not to bad thanks.still having anxiety days and depression.but getting through each day..how you been mate
Hi andy,thanks mate.not to bad thanks.still having anxiety days and depression.but getting through each day..how you been mate
a bit on edge just recently from work stress but still moving forward ,thats all we can ask for isnt it.
Good weathers round the corner Greg and the lights change this weekend so you should be able to get out more
Same mate.i feel on edge to..slept for 10 hrs last night,but even with all the good sleep i get,i still have bad anxiety through the day.im sitting inna pub at the moment ( not drinking ) cant aford it.just sitting hear to kill a few hrs in the day before i go back home to watch more crap tv untill bed...yes clocks go forward sat night so loose hr sleep and lighter nights.hopefully the weather will change very soon....
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