anxiety and commitment

[bubblygirl]

Why does anxiety make me so scared of commitment! I was meant to have a job interview today which i arranged myself yesterday. I've been doing so well lately i thought it was time to bite the bullet and get back into work and yesterday i was so confident that i could do it but today i wake up and realised im not ready so ive cancelled it. Anxiety plays tricks on me one day i can do so well and the next day i feel like i can't do anything. I'm fine when im doing something i want to do but when it comes to commiting myself to someone else i freak out like when the control is taken away from me im so dissapointed in myself i would love to be back at work earning my own money. But i must not be ready yet. will i ever be ready. so embarassing when people ask what i do and i say im not working they just think im lazy if only that was the case. well maybe in a bit more time ill get there.

Sarah x

[weepinky]

Hey Sarah

Sorry that things are rough today, but please don't be too hard on yourself hun we all have up and down days on our way to recovery, you are obviously doing really well to have made that appointment so don't let this set you back tooo much ok, just try and move on from it.

Been out for any fresh air today?!!!:D

Love Pinky

[bubblygirl]

Thanks pinky:) lol no im not even dressed yet i will do later though. take care x

[trac67]

Hi Sarah,

Have you thought about going back to work part-time to begin with to ease you back into it, or maybe do some voluntary work to see how you cope, that way you will know if your ready to get back into the swing of things or not.

Don't be too hard on yourself though, as these things do take time, but you will get there, just like we all will.

Take care

Trac xx

'Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain'

[bubblygirl]

Thanks Trac the job was only part time 3 hours an afternoon it was pretty much perfect for me but i think im just not ready ive got the docs fri and im going to ask for counselling and see if that helps. Im so ready to move on but i still have the fear and lack of confidence so im going to hang fire and wait until im 100% ready. Sarah x

[W.I.F.T.S.]

I'm the same. Anxiety/depression puts me off long term jobs, relationships...even having my own place. Maybe part of it is that it's hard to imagine the future, we might see committing to something as winding/settling down and that might seem like the end of something rather than the beginning.

I feel as well that because we're so keyed up we feel like we constantly need to be on the move, so the thought of being in one place for a long time is alien to us. I find as well that I don't trust my own judgement, so i find it hard to settle in one place, because I'm not sure that it's really where I belong and I feel like maybe I'm missing out on something.

I guess that we have a sense of urgency and feel that we need to cram as many experiences and achievements in as quickly as possible.

There's also the point that we feel that 'happiness' is out there somewhere waiting for us and that we need to go and seek it out, whereas it's actually inside us and being settled in one place is more likely to mean that we're happy rather than flitting around and having no roots or deep relationships.

Ships in harbour are safe..but that's not what ships were built for.

[guest]

Hi Sarah

That could have been me writing that. I've been unemployed for a long time as i'm terrified of like you say commiting myself to a job. I understand completely about having the control taken away. My friends are always asking if i'm working and i hate it.

I think you have done so well in making that appointment and like you so say your ready to move on.

Good Luck

Jane:)

[tommythomson]

Hi Sarah

Hope you are well!!!
Sorry about the interview situation. As you say you just have to bite the bullet. You will know inside yourself when you're ready. One way to look at it would be - what have you got to lose? What is the worst that could happen?
You will have to take the control back! You will get there!
Sorry for sounding hard but I'm just trying to spur you on!!

T:D