koala
07-03-15, 13:14
Don't know if anyone else feels like this but every time I feel like i am getting somewhere and starting to beat my anxiety I trip myself up and suddenly find myself going backwards again.
My recent dilemma involves work. I am a qualified fitness instructor and I am desperate to do this full time for a living. Instead I work in admin and absolutely hate my job. I find it extremely boring, i'm frustrated i am not getting to use my qualifications which i've worked so hard to get and my boss keeps pressuring me to do overtime (which reduces the hours i have to work on building up my own business) and travel to events even though she knows i'm agrophobic and struggle to travel far from home. I find it very difficult to get up in the morning and go to work as i feel like i have a big black cloud hanging over me and i am feed up of my work constantly trying to change who i am to fit in with their priorities and not giving a damn about my priorities.
I have recently been offered a job interview at a gym. However this gym wants me to start work a 5.30am and I will need to drive a 40 minute journey along a motorway to get there. I am worried as I am not sure i will be able to do this. I am also concerned about the impact this will have on my own part time business. If i am getting up at 4am i will need to go to bed really early as lack of sleep really effects my mood (I have sleep problems as it is). This means i won't be able to teach any classes on a Monday and Tuesday night. To add to my confusion even more I have recently been asked to cover local fitness classes (some of which are on a Mon & Tues night). I have agreed to cover the local classes but this won't start until May and will only be cover to begin with so won't be enough of an income to quit my office job.I have also signed up to several courses and I am worried a new employer won't give me the time off to attend the courses. The one good thing about my current job is they are usually pretty flexible about letting me take time off to attend a course.
I just feel so stuck in a rut and don't know what to do for the best anymore. I am worried whatever i decide to do will end up being the wrong decision and i will regret it. I know I want out of admin and into a fitness job but I also worry that i will end up aggravating my anxiety if i start juggling an early morning job, travel, evening classes and studying.
My recent dilemma involves work. I am a qualified fitness instructor and I am desperate to do this full time for a living. Instead I work in admin and absolutely hate my job. I find it extremely boring, i'm frustrated i am not getting to use my qualifications which i've worked so hard to get and my boss keeps pressuring me to do overtime (which reduces the hours i have to work on building up my own business) and travel to events even though she knows i'm agrophobic and struggle to travel far from home. I find it very difficult to get up in the morning and go to work as i feel like i have a big black cloud hanging over me and i am feed up of my work constantly trying to change who i am to fit in with their priorities and not giving a damn about my priorities.
I have recently been offered a job interview at a gym. However this gym wants me to start work a 5.30am and I will need to drive a 40 minute journey along a motorway to get there. I am worried as I am not sure i will be able to do this. I am also concerned about the impact this will have on my own part time business. If i am getting up at 4am i will need to go to bed really early as lack of sleep really effects my mood (I have sleep problems as it is). This means i won't be able to teach any classes on a Monday and Tuesday night. To add to my confusion even more I have recently been asked to cover local fitness classes (some of which are on a Mon & Tues night). I have agreed to cover the local classes but this won't start until May and will only be cover to begin with so won't be enough of an income to quit my office job.I have also signed up to several courses and I am worried a new employer won't give me the time off to attend the courses. The one good thing about my current job is they are usually pretty flexible about letting me take time off to attend a course.
I just feel so stuck in a rut and don't know what to do for the best anymore. I am worried whatever i decide to do will end up being the wrong decision and i will regret it. I know I want out of admin and into a fitness job but I also worry that i will end up aggravating my anxiety if i start juggling an early morning job, travel, evening classes and studying.