View Full Version : Please someone help me
Hi everyone,
I'm new to the forum and really need some help since before Christmas2014 my anxiety has been truly bad this I believe had started then due to my little girl becoming Ill (she's ok now though) but over the past 4 months my anxiety has worsened and worsened and worsened my fears are:
My children's health even if they get a sniffle now I break down in tears with fear of it being worse.
And
My health every ache every pain is always (in my head) worse then the physical appearance.
Because of this I have now started taking 10mg citalopram I started this on the 27th of Feb and even though the nausia has gone my appetite has gone with it and in return my side effects now include paranoia increased anxiety a foggy head and emotional numbness others appear from time to time.
This is really killing me I want to be me again I want to smile To laugh I want to hug my children and actually feel somthing again for God sake I'm a 30 year old man I shouldn't be like this I'm sat here typing this and I'm in tears I just want all this to go away do I can be me again.
I'm scared all the bloody time all weekend my paranoia has played up so far I've thought I'vehad a brain tumour, blood in my perfectly yellow or lighter urine and now my sciatica is acting up but oh no it's not sciatica it must be kidney problems....... Thisis the rrubbish I'm having to deal with day in day out and I can't stop it even if I rationalise everything I still have this little doubt chipping away at me :-(.
I've referred myself for cognitive therapy but that's still 4 maybe 6 weeks away I really really need to get past this so I can get back to my life.
Please can some one help me get rid of this.
Please can some one help me with my anxiety and panic attacks.
Please can I be me again.
Many thanks
Andrew
Andrew I'm really sorry you're feeling this way. I never had HA until one day I decided that I wouldn't see my daughters first birthday because I had a few chest pains (I was only 21).
Every day closer to her birthday my anxiety soared. It got the point I wouldnt leave the house, I cried all day, spent my days and nights googling all my symptoms and worried to death about the results I found.
I worried about not seeing her grow up, about leaving her without me, the irony being that whilst I was in such a constant state of anixiety I was actually missing her grow up. She will be three in July, and thankfully I am still here.
I could give you a list as long as my arm of things I thought I had, I was convinced I had or that I definitely 100% had. I've had a brain aneurysm on the edge of rupture for about two years now, I've certainly had about 20 DVTs, 10 different cancers and about 5 lots of appendicitis.
If you think the citalopram is giving you all them side effects don't take them, ask for something else. The first time I felt like I could beat this was in January 2014 when I was taking amitriptyline. I wasn't even taking it for my health anxiety but after a week or two I really felt like a cloud had lifted.
I didn't take the CBT, but I know it works wonders for lots of people and I hope it does the same for you. Beating HA takes a lot of hard work and effort and a huge leap of faith. When you genuinely believe you are very ill, it takes a lot of courage to sit back and trust others.
You have already made the first step by admitting that this is anxiety. You've said yourself theres no blood in your urine and its sciatica that is playing up, you already know this, which is great.
I found distraction really helped. Do something with your kids that requires your full attention, no time for thinking about your health. Start a diary, write down everything and then it a weeks time see how much you have improved. I have regularly sat and read through my post history to see how far I have come, it's really enlightening that I sometimes cannot believe that it was me writing them.
If you have a habit of googling your symptoms, stop. Stop right now. Any health stories in the paper ignore them, there may be one person who was misdiagnosed at the doctors but the millions of people who went home happy who will not sell papers. And if the story has made the paper, then this is because it does not usually happen!
Stay on here. It really really helped me, there are some bluddy wonderful people on here, and I would never have had the kick up the arse I needed to change if it wasn't for the help on here. It really turned my life around having people on here who understood what I was going through.
You know you have anxiety, you know that deep down you are not ill. This is really the hardest step (well it was for me) once you recognise that the only illness is HA, then you can really start to get on with your recovery.
Read the sticky threads at the top of the forum, there's loads of help there.
Good luck x
That's for the reply ,I'm trying all the above but I'm still struggling I have come off the citalopram now as the doctor thinks that's the culprit and she's wanting to put me on sertraline but I'm scared to try it I don't want any more side effects.
HI azeluk,
I feel your pain, I am going through a time of it just now with a constant worry tht something is going tohappen to one of my chikdren and I cannot shake it. My middle son was born at 3 weeks and I went through a really strssfull time (although he is nearly 15 now) I cannot shake this feeling. I have been on citalopram for 12 years now and I have been given diazepam along with it just now to try and curb the feelings but mines seems to be delayed,I can deal with a problem if it arises but weeks later I am ill. I feel like givin up everyday but we need to keep telling ourselves that our children are alive and healthy for the timebeing and we will deal with any issues that arise. I will be starting cbt again next week which has really helped me before so not sure if that is something you could try
So I'm having a really bad day today, thoughts of illness keep running through my head for some reason I can't stop thinking that I've got a brain tumour :-( ridiculous I know but I can't get rid of this thought :-(.... I'm suffering with side effects of coming off the citalopram, my appetites gone, I'm dizzy, nausia is ever present and I just feel that im not in the moment even when I'm having a conversation with some one I feel distant and as if the words aren't coming out my mouth.
I'm so fed up I just want a day were i can be happy where I don't worry about stupid fictitious problems were i can be a daddy and husband again.
Where I don't sit down and burst in to tears when writing in a forum page.
I feel sooo lost and scared I just want it to stop
Andrew
Andrew I know exactly how you are feeling, it started with me worrying about my own health and I went for cbt which really helped. This time though it is the fear of something happening to my children so I am waiting to start the cbt again. Can I ask are you like this all day and evening?
I'm like this most of the day,every now and then though i do find restbite but thats few and far between.
Im better in the evenings usually from 7 (however yesterday 6) i kinda snap out of it and become me again i feel positve i feel confident then i go to bed and wake up usually with a panic attack the following morning :-(.
My health anxitey does vary though all weekend i believed i had a probelm with my toilet i finally snapped out of that now my health anxiety is going more towards "have i got a brain tumor " regardless of the fact that i dont have any of the blooming symptoms and have had reassurence from family and doctors.
This citalopram has well and truly done a number on me i have been off them for almost a week now and im still having side effects, nausia, dizziness,cloudey head,forgetfulness, no appetite and general emotional numbness (apart from panic and anxiety).
I have to ask is this normal and how much longer is this going to last ive heard 4-6 weeks to be completely off them but have heard horror stories of months.
Im really not doing very well but i'm trying to keep it together.
Andrew
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