View Full Version : Health anxiety... Pancreatic cancer
I'm new to posting on this site but I've read many other posts on the subject of health anxiety. My story started about 5 weeks ago when I received news that an older (close) family member was unwell. I won't go into detail about that as I don't wish to fuel anyone's anxiety further. Anyway, at the time I didn't realise it had affected me so much, but I guess sub-consciously it set off the trigger for how I've been feeling since then. Looking back over the past few years I can see that I've always been a bit prone to anxiety: since having children almost 5 years ago I would have random thoughts pop into my head from time to time about being diagnosed with a terminal cancer and having to leave my children without their mother. The rational side of my brain would always win through though and the thought would be quickly banished and I'd happily go about my daily life. This recent episode is by far the worst feelings I've experienced and it has scared me how easily it seems to take over. It all started when shortly afterwards I began having indigestion/trapped wind type symptoms, which I've never suffered with before. Over the counter remedies didn't make it go away, so guess what, I consulted dr. Google! In hindsight this turned out to be a terrible idea but I didn't know that at the time, since I didn't realise I was prone to anxiety. Google threw up terrifying results of pancreatic cancer, and since then I've become obsessed with the thought that I have it. I've seen 4 different doctors and none of them think I have it. I have had blood tests which came back clear. Despite this, I am only ever reassured temporarily and it's not long before I find myself researching online for the symptoms all over again. I have also developed intermittent pain in my back/ribs which has further fuelled my fears. I'm caught in a chicken/egg situation now as can't tell if the pain is due to a medical reason, or if the pain is because of the anxiety. Also, the irrational part of my brain keeps doubting what the doctors have told me, which again leads me into a vicious cycle of researching online. My husband is very supportive but I haven't shared most of my thoughts with him as I don't want to worry him. Just wondered if anyone else is going through something like this.
I think nearly everyone with Healthy anxiety goes through that. I certainly did, consulted Dr google in a moment of madness and set off over a year of mental torture that I wouldn't wish on anyone.
Its such a hard cycle to break, but this forum is a really great support. The back rib pain sounds like costochondritis, I had this brought on by anxiety and stress! When your anxious your muscles tense, they hurt.
You will be fine honestly.x
Thank you Roxy90. It is good not to feel alone on this.
Definitely not alone. Your story sounds exactly like mine except i thought I had a heart problem. Obviously that quickly developed into a brain aneurysm, appendicitis, dvt, cancer etc. I spent my whole day on Google. I knew it was bad, I knew it was nowhere near accurate, but you cant help yourself its like a horrible addiction.
I have been 'google free' over a year now. It takes a lot of self ccontrol and a lot of effort, changing your whole outlook on life. I wish there was an easy fix, in some instances it can be worse than actually having a bluddy illness.
Someone at the local pub earlier said that her husband had passed away from stomach cancer.
My wife has not been feeling very well, with stomach pains.
I went onto Dr Google, and the NHS site.
Cue anxiety.
Note. It is NOT a good idea to go onto Dr Google.......ever......
I am going through this right now. I have pain in my left rib that goes around back. The doc says it is likely trapped gas that keeps happening... He said pancreatic cancer is exceedingly rare for someone my age (25).
He is however sending me for full bloods and a full ultrasound. I have the bloods tomorrow so I am very very nervous.
Thanks for the replies everyone. It's an incredibly difficult habit to break. Googling symptoms seeking reassurance and evert time feeling way worse afterwards having immersed myself in patient stories of pancreatic cancer. I've had telephone condultation this week to start the ball rolling for cbt and other therapy options so i'm taking steps in thr right direction to try to combat this terrible anxiety. Just wish in the meantime I could shift these physical symptoms. I've barely slept again tonight due to the anxiety over it.
RedXIII all the best for your tests, I'm sure you'll be absolutely fine.
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Ps excuse my typo's. it's 4:30am and I guess my fingers as not working on the keypad quite as well as usual!
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Roxy90 well done for being google free for a year. I look forward to a time when I can hopefully say the same
Steve1964 yes you're right. And I identify with the scenario of hearing about an illness from someone, or on tv, and it then planting the seed of worry.
You'll be able to, Vicky! It sounds as though you're already very aware of your anxiety and while that doesn't sound like much, it's the first and biggest step. You will wrestle between trusting your doctors and yourself for a while, but a lot of people don't seem to properly register their anxiety and how awful it is. If you have a bit of time, instead of dr googling, find the threads "getting there slowly..." And the sticky one at the top "get a plan..." Both were integral to me when I was in a very same spot as you are. You've got this if you keep at it. :hugs:
It is such an awful cycle though, I never knew it could exist or happen and when I look back to my last holiday which it completely ruined, I remember spending hours on the train reading about all these diseases when my worry had started out over stomach issues. Can't believe I fell down the path of googling every morning but it's so easy to do. But like I said, you've taken the first step and you want to get better. That's so hard :)
Thanks wnsos. I am glad I've got an appointment scheduled to tackle this anxiety. Unfortunately it's not until the end of the month and in the meantime I'm feeling dreadful. I had a terribly night of barely any sleep, and now at work struggling to concentrate. Trembling, heart racing, feeling sick. The standard anxiety feelings. Obsessing about being seriously ill as can't believe anxiety can make me feel this ill every day at the moment. I will look at the threads you suggested, thanks.
Yeah it's really difficult to convince yourself that anxiety can do this to us. Incredibly. I never believed anyone, especially not doctors. Then I saw one who really changed my outlook and I felt like "yeah, I'm not letting this steal more of my life, I'm going to believe her" - few months later most of my symptoms have disappeared.
I am going through the exact same thing right now. It all started with me googling thinking I had tetanus after accidentally stabbing myself with a screw driver despite getting my tetanus shot 6 months ago.Then I had noticed my veins seemed more prominent (my mom has the same prominent veins) and then the vicious cycle started. I think I triggered my anxiety so bad I upset my stomach and digestive tract which lead to a much vicious cycle that is still on going. Maybe we can all help each other break this cycle some how? It is vicious and I didn't realize how common this was until I found this forum.
That's brilliant.
I've managed to calm myself down for now, and the fact that my symptoms largely disappear when I manage to relax a bit confirms that the terrible physical feelings i get are brought on by the anxiety. I'm looking forward to the therapy to try to learn techniques that I'll be able to use for the rest of my life.
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Sorry JustJoe25, I wrote my latest post before yours appeared on my screen. I didn't want you to think I was saying 'that's brilliant' to your post! But in fact I was referring to the one before.
I completely agree I had absolutely no idea there was a world of health anxiety sufferers out there until I became one myself. The fact that health anxiety is rising must surely be due in some part to the vast amount of medical information (not all of it accurate!) that we now all have at the end of our fingertips 24/7 via Google.
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A great example of this is that when I was in my early twenties, I found a lump in my neck. I wasn't bothered back then by anxiety, so I wasn't searching for lumps and bumps. I merely come across it, probably by scratching my neck or something. Anyway, it was very much there, very hard, and pea sized. I made an appointment with a doctor as soon as I could. She took a look, said it looked like a fatty deposit that would go away on it's own and nothing to worry about. I believed her, and do you know what? It did go away exactly as she said and has never come back since. If the same thing happened to me for the first time now I would undoubtedly google it, convince myself it was cancer, work myself up into a dreadful state, and not believe the doctor when she told me it was nothing to worry about.
Too much information is not always a good thing.
Vicky,
You are right about Dr. Google making health anxiety worse. Any indiviual can type in their symptoms at their fingertips and find the worst possible disease and become convinced they have it. The symptoms might be similar or perhaps when searching there might not even be certain symptoms but then anxiety takes over and the individual starts to think he or she feels these symptoms. In the past we would just go to a doctor and take their word for it. Even if we were unsure then we would just follow up with another doctor. Now through the Internet there is so much information, some which isn't even correct as you mentioned and we can worry ourselves so bad and make our anxiety worse.
I am glad I found this forum that has people with similar symptoms. I think we all worry because of Google and because the stomsch is one of the first things to act up when anxiety starts taking over. I have slways had a sensitive stomach as is so that doesn't help matters.
Hi all,
My physical symptoms have been so strong that I've been back again to the doctors. I am being sent for an ultrasound scan (which doctor has said just to rule anything out). I voiced my fears again about psncreatic/stomach cancer and he did his best to reassure me (although obviously can't say for sure). I feel glad that my symptoms are being taken a little more seriously and really hope the ultrasound comes back clear so I can try to get on with my life. Now I have an anxious wait for the appointment...
Hi I had to reply to this as I have had such a similar thing to you- however mine was gallbladder and I ended up having mine removed. I was very honest with the gastro guy that I saw- I told him I still had terrible back pain after the removal and I was terrified about pancreatic cancer ( I too have young children and I make myself ill with worry about things)
He assured me I didn't and it would have shown up on bloods ultrasound- he said google is a terrible thing because even things like ibs make you think something awful. I have banned myself from google now because the stress google results bring me actually make me ill! Please try and not stress and I do feel like I can say that as 3 weeks ago I couldn't eat sleep or concentrate on anything because I was so worried x
Hi VickyC,
I found your post on here, omg I could have practically written it myself word for word. It really helps to know that I'm not the only woman in the world thinking like this. And like you I'm not voicing too much of my worries to my husband as it would just freak him out. One minute I'm fine, the next I'm convinced I'm dying, this is so out of character for me I can't believe it!
How are you doing now? Have you got the date of your scan yet? I've just had my bloods done yesterday (I think it was kidneys, inflammatory markers & glucose, is that what you got done?) and I'm feeling pretty nervous about the results tomorrow. Already I can imagine them saying that they're not right, even tho I'm trying to picture being told that they're all fine, but I'm fighting a losing battle! I haven't even got the letter from the hospital about the date of my scan yet, and the dr referred me for it 11 days ago. The back pain which I went to the dr about originally is long gone, only got a bit of left rib pain now, but instead I've got a bloated tummy. I'm literally moving through the symptoms every day. I'm also absolutely shattered, last night I got about 5 hours of sleep, and I'm a girl who likes to sleep.
Staying away from Google sounds like a damn good idea, all it's given me is grief. I'm going to do my best to keep away, hard as it sounds.
Anyway hang in there hon and keep me posted. I really hope you're feeling a lot less anxious about it now. (and then you can inspire me!!). xxxx
Thanks Lula20. You're absolutely right about avoiding Google. I've managed to stay 'google-free' now for a few weeks and it's helped enormously.
Milly, thanks. Not that I would ever wish this on anyone but it's reassuring that I'm not alone! I'm doing really well now thanks. No.1 step was to stop Googling as it was sending my anxiety into orbit. Reassurance from doctors and test results have done the rest. I know not everyone likes to go down the route of having tests done, but personally I felt that reassuring words from a doctor were not enough to overcome my anxiety over PC and I would need confirmation in the form of tests to be able to properly get a grip of my anxiety. Glad to say everything came back clear. Not sure exactly what blood test was but I think it was what they call 'full bloods' which I think is a pretty standard test. Fortunately my ultrasound appointment came through quickly and I had it 10 days after referral. I'm sure your appointment will come through soon.
I'm actually seeing the doctor again this week, not about my PC fears but because I am still getting intermittant pains in my ribs/back. I suspect he will say it's IBS but figure I should go and speak to him about it to see how to proceed.
All the best for your results and let me know how you get on x
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