Depression & Social Anxiety.

[CCM]

I am suffering with depression and social anxiety, I'm male,22. I have always been a shy person for as long as i can remember. I was brought up by my mother, she was depressed since the split from my father when i was very young. She often criticized him, me, other family members, people on tele, people in streets. So i've grown up very self critical, and thinking everyone must be critical of others. I don't like to go out because i feel people are watching and judging me, even if i can't see nobody around. Logically i know it's untrue, and stupid, but it's the way i feel. I've tried on my own to change my beliefs, because im my opinion believing is seeing, you believe something and your mind will find evidence to back it up. It worked for some time and i felt pretty good, but i always knew i had a long way to go and i still felt a nagging feeling that i was being watched, judged and criticised.

I know my childhood has something to do with it, being told a lot of No's can't cannot, should, shouldn't, all controlling words and behavior which has resulted in my low self esteem and negative thinking.

I haven't spoken to anybody about my problem, i don't come from a close family where we share feelings. That kind of thing isn't really taken seriously. I have no close friends to talk with, and i don't like the thought of talking to my doctor about it. Through shyness, lack of confidence, fear of judgement and criticism.

I would like to hear from those who are, have been or know someone in the same or similar situation. And what you or they did or are doing to over come it.

Those who spoke to a doctor. Was it difficult? Did you do it alone?

[happy1]

Hi I am starting to get ok but it is a big task.I went to the docs with my hubby.Then got referred to the hospital to see an consultant.I only see him 3 times a year.We work out together what I should try next like stay where I am in a panic until it comes down again.I can do more now than I did before I got help.I am on meds which seem to be controlling my feelings.Which I think is good or I might not be here now.
kat

[CCM]

Hey thanks for your reply, and i'm glad yo hear you're getting better.

I'm just curious, what made you decide to finally see someone about it and get it sorted?

I'm having trouble with that at the moment. I've done some therapy methods on myself (affirmations, reframing and mood anchors) and they've had some positive effects but i know i need more. It's just my mind is coming up with all sorts of creative excuses not to go see a doctor or therapist, and when i come up with good ideas why i should, the negative seems to out weigh the positive.

My mood isn't all that bad because lately i don't really know what i'm feeling, and it's effecting my concentration, sleep, appitite, motivation and i'm becomming more successful procrastinator everyday.

Again thanks for your post and i hope you continue to win the battle.

[confuseddd]

We're very similiar, because I too have never told anyone about this, not even my parents and ive been living with it for a few years now. I grew up the same way, but both of my parents were very critical, VERY CRITICAL. So I know where your coming from and I feel the same exact way. Whether it's how im walking, or if theres something on me, nothing could be wrong with me at all but I still feel like people are watching me and judging my every move and I can't get rid of the thought. I have yet to talk to a doctor because of fear of judgement and all of that also, but I dono I feel like I could overcome this myself. I mean we kinda put ourselves in this position, maybe we could take ourselves out?

That could just be my minds way of procrastinating but who knows. I recently downloaded some hypnosis tapes from hypnosisdownloads.com. I figure if im not gonna talk to a doctor i could take some extra steps to help myself out.


Anyways, I hoped this helped in someway.


Peace