Health Anxiety......HIV

[g40polo]

hello,

First post so go gentle with me!

I am so scared that I may have HIV. 10 years ago I had protected sex, and the condom split.

I havent had any of the usual symptoms, such as swollen glands or night sweats, but I have had aches and pains.

I suffer from anxiety, and its got so much worse since this event.

I have started to get what I think are panic attacks, sweating and dizziness and feeling like I could faint.

I dont know what I expect people to reply to this!!!!

Does anyone else feel like this or only me?

[AnnieMags]

I understand your fear and worry - I was there many years ago with the same issue. (I was of course absolutely fine!) Do you have any reason to believe that your partner was HIV+? Let's suppose for a moment that he was - even so, it is highly unlikely that one exposure should have put you at risk. Odds are of course that he was not a risk to you at all. You do need to put your mind at rest properly, though, so here is the plan: Go to your GP or to your local Sexual Health clinic, tell them your worry, get tested (scary, I know, but you will feel so much better when the negative results come back!) and get reassured that you are perfectly well. Go - grab that phone and make the appointment. Let us know when you get your negative results so we can celebrate with you! :yahoo: :)

[g40polo]

Hi,

Thanks for your reply.

As far as I know, she did not have HIV, but I cannot stop thinking about it.

I was at the doctors about 5 years ago, due to my anxiety, and I told her of my fears, and she said there was no way that I had HIV, but why didnt she test me?

To add to this, I havent ever had the flu, and ive had one cold in the last 4 years.

maybe I just need to accept that I dont have it, and that the aches and pains are from my anxiety.

[AnnieMags]

She did not test you because she saw absolutely no risk in what you described - very reassuring in itself! Besides, you have no symptoms (we all get aches and pains!) and clearly your immune system is doing a great job at keeping you healthy - 10 years on it sounds as though you have worried enough - unnecessarily - and it's time to let this one go, which you can safely do. Best wishes from Annie :)

[g40polo]

Thanks Annie :)

The problem is, like today, I notice things, like a red mark in the wall of my mouth, and automatically think its a HIV symptom

Stupid eh!

I hate anxiety!

[Fishmanpa]

I wouldn't say it's stupid to have the fears... Irrational yes, stupid no. The problem with anxiety is it short circuits logic. In 10 years, if you were to have the virus, you would be pretty sick. Problem is, you just don't process that. It's like you look for every pencil dot of evidence when the entire page is covered in red magic marker....

I'm not one for reassurance but a simple home test will determine if you have the virus. WHEN it comes in negative, it would be prudent to treat the reall illness.

Positive thoughts

[AnnieMags]

I know, I do, too, and that's why we are on this forum. Don't you find that it is much easier to reassure others than yourself, though? You somehow see the irrationality when it is someone else's! :) What were you DOING looking at the roof of your mouth!?! Insides of mouths are not uniform pink, there are all sorts of different things popping up and disappearing again, 99.9999999% of which are completely harmless. HIV is a bit like cancer in that almost any symptom can be made to fit - completely groundlessly - so stop looking, ya hear?! Seriously though - if you are not going to be able to let this one go, then get tested. You will feel better and can then move on. I have sought advice from the Terence Higgins Trust in the past - they have a fabulous, free-to-call helpline and are very friendly and reassuring. I have completely stopped worrying about HIV now and you can too! Best wishes, Annie

[steph25]

I did something even worse the other day which really was ridiculous.

I had jacket potato for dinner with some salad. I cut up the potato and noticed inside it that a bit of the potato was red, at first I thought nothing of it and ate it (there was a bit of beetroot in the salad so assumed that was it) but after I had eaten it I thought, what if that wasn't beetroot, what if that was blood and someone elses blood and what if that person had HIV or AIDS!!!

Completely stupid of me but sometimes our minds do that to us, it's been 10 years with you and you've spoken to your doctor and they weren't worried. If you really can't stop worrying then there's nothing wrong with having a sexual health check and having it checked.