Worried about lymphoma

[Gemmal]

Hi all !

It's now three years ago that I went to the doctor crying convinced I had lymphoma !

I can't believe it ! I'm still here but still not coping well at all .

I'm not sure how Ive even made it through the past three years with this terrible fear

The problem is i still get symptoms and start to panic - I guess I'm just having a bad night tonight I need some distractions :(

[popejoan]

Hi Gemma, I have the same obsession with ALS. Doesn't matter what kind of reassurance I get, I still end up with that fear. I've been through lymphoma fears too. It laster very short though. Can I ask what kind of symptoms have yo been experiencing?

[Gemmal]

Hi popejoan sorry to hear your going through such a hard time also !

I even spoke to an oncologist online who basically said I wouldn't be around by now if I had it but hey Im still panicking lol !

I have some glands I can feel , itchy from time to time , some chest pains

I've had so many bloods x Rays etc but managed to avoid the docs for a year now as constant reassurance wasn't helping me at all !

Just wish it would all go away !

[popejoan]

Hi Gemma, yes 3 years is way too long, you would've been seriously ill by now. Well, I have palpable lymph nodes in my groin area. I had 2 ultrasounds and both was normal. They said I am slim and in slim people glands can be more prominent.

I am always itchy, so imagine how I felt when I found the nodes. Also has slightly raised eosinophils in my blood so it was certain for me. It turned out to be nothing.

Non-Hodgkin's is related to age, I think you're young for it and Hodgkin's is very very rare.

I would recommend considering ssri's if you're not taking any. I was a mess before starting taking them and I'm doing better now. I'm not great, but doing so much better.

[Jbaine]

Hello to both of you. I just want to say that both of your stories hit home with me. In 2010 a few months after my child was born I became really anxious and I started having muscle twitching all throughout my body as well as perceived weakness. I was convinced I had ALS. I was petrified. I had an EMG and that came back clear. It took 2 years and anti depressants to get over the fear.

Now 5 years later I began to worry about skin cancer. I decided to check for nodes on the side of my body where my "suspicious" mole was. I didn't find any...however...I found some on the other side of my body and began to panic. I googled and came across lymphoma. Petrified yet again, I ran crying to my doctor. She felt around and said she didn't feel anything suspicious but to ease my mind she sent me for bloodwork and an ultrasound. Both came back normal but I didn't believe it. She then sent me to an ENT for reasurance. He ordered an Mri. That came back normal. No enlarged or suspicious nodes.

I have itsy bitsy node on the left side of my neck.
a few on the right side of my neck one of which is 1cm. The rest are smaller
1 on each side under my jaw
A 0.5cm one in my right groin area.

The one in my groin area still worries me

Gemmal I agree with your doctors. After 3 years you would definitely been sick by now.
popejoan I am thin also which is why I can feel mine. As for your current fear... there is a great website bfs.com that helped me with that. You will find many reassuring entries there

Wishing you both peace and good health.

[popejoan]

Hi, Jbaine, your story sounds very similar to mine. I'm glad you got over your ALS fear. I had a EMG too and it was normal but the doctor who performed it didn't do it professionally. He did in all limbs and tongue but I don't know, I think I should find a way to believe it. Whenever I have a twitch, whenever I bite my tongue or trip over when I walk I get sooo scared.

I think if you're thin and don't show any symptoms you should forget about lymphoma. Ultrasound is key, radiologists can see if there's something sinister going on in seconds. Have you been working on your health anxiety? I'm on Sertraline and Propranolol and they seem to be working.

I know bfs.com and read a lot of threads there. But ALS became an obsession to me, I watched all the videos about it, read everything in ALS forums and I talk/wanna talk about it all the time. It concerns me, I am beyond saving when it comes to this disease I think. I wish I could stop worrying about it.

[Jbaine]

Popejoan how long have you been worried about this? It took me a long time to get over it.

I am on 10mg of Lexapro right now. I just started a few weeks ago along with CBT neither are helping a whole lot yet. My lymphoma fears have subsided greatly but the lymph node in my groin was discovered after I had an ultrasound and Mri on my neck. I fear that the groin node is related to a "hemorrhoid" I have. I am scared that it could be the "C" word :(

My EMG was done in my limbs and trunk. He didn't do my tounge. But from what I read as long as they poked those needles in you anywhere it wouldnt matter what parts they didn't they would see changes if there were any to be found.

[popejoan]

Thanks Jbaine, the doctor I was was funny, although he was about to kick me out and told me that I do not have ALS but I have to work on my Anxiety, I will go and see him again in May when I visit my parents in Turkey. It's very easy to see a specialist and demand any tests you want there. I've been worried about it about 3 months.

I have not one but two swollen lymph nodes in my groin. They are bigger than 1 cm and ultrasound confirmed they were absolutely normal. Also the radiologist and my GP both said shaving, scratches, mosquito bites.. etc. could cause the lymph nodes to swell up and sometimes they don't go back to their original size.

Don't worry, lymphoma is not as common as we think, especially Hodgkin's is rare. Also, the most significant symptoms are night sweats and weight loss. A sinister lymph node would get bigger, it would be solid and fixed.

[Gemmal]

Hi both !

Thanks for talking the time to help me out and share your stories too !

Funny thing is I can't really feel my nodes they are all relatively small and I know that they would probably be huge after three years ! I have put on weight but recently starting to lose it but I have been eating well - of course this has me panicking - I can never win can I

I'm going to try n take up a sport or a new hobby to try and distract myself and maybe get some routine bloods just in case

[Jbaine]

I have lost weight too since Christmas. Not a whole lot 4 to 6lbs. But I quit drinking soda and and haven't had many sweets since then either. Also my anxiety had me eating very little for a few weeks. Starting to get my appetite back.

Gemmal if you can barely feel your nodes you have nothing to worry about...especially after 3 years :)

I am not so much worried about lymphoma. I have a hemorrhoid that makes me think it is anal cancer. I haven't had a doctor look at it yet. I don't go until next week. I am terribly frightened. I am 34 and been married for 15 years and I have had 2 children. I have never been diagnosed with any std's. My paps have been normal. I had a relationship in high school but we had only both "been" with eachother. My husband had a relationship at a very young age with a girl. He abstained from sex after that for 4 to 5 years. He has never tested positive for any std's

I worry that I have had some form of undetected HPV. Unfortunately I googled hemorrhoids and symptoms and of course it brought up HPV and anal cancer. This has sent me into straight panic again. :( So in my mind hemorrhoid plus groin node equals bad news. I don't even know if the node is considered swollen. I just hate that I can feel it there :(

[Gemmal]

Oh jbaine im so sorry you are going through such a hard time ! With everything you have just told me i highly doubt it's anal cancer ! Your history , and smears definitely suggest otherwise !

Google is the devil I swear ! It's how I got into this whole mess wish I could trust my doctors words and just ignore the Internet !

I'm going to make an appointment tomorrow for her to check my nodes but I know she will say im fine !

Let me know how you get on x

[Jbaine]

Thank you Gemmal. I see my doctor next week so I will post back. I know your doctor will tell you everything is ok. I really hope you can believe him/her. Let me know how the appointment goes:bighug1:

[Jbaine]

Just wanted to post an update. My gyno appointment was pushed back from last week to today. I went in and she did a pelvic exam and culture for HPV and general infections of the vaginal area. I will get those results in a few days. She looked at the spot where I have the hemorrhoid and said that it definitely looks like a hemorrhoid and based on the symptoms I told her she had no doubt. As for the groin node she wasn't concerned because it hasn' t changed since I noticed it. I wasn't able to get a pap because it has not been a whole year since my last one and insurance will not cover it. She wasn't alarmed by anything so I just need to accept that these parts of my body are normal. CBT is helping just a little anxious waiting for the HPV results :unsure:

[Jbaine]

All tests came back normal. Candida(yeast) was detected but not an infection so no worries there. They said it is normal to have some yeast.

[Gemmal]

Jbaine im so glad everything came back normal !! You must be so relieved ! Your totally fine and healthy and can start to enjoy life �� unfortunately I hav been having some time of it .

Just constantly worried about lymphoma im always second guessing myself . I am now over three years of worrying over my symptoms I honestly couldn't have survived all this time untreated or could I ?

Right now im being stupid I keep feeling my nodes which has made them really sore ! I need to go cold turkey thinking about goin for some blood tests again Arghhh it drives me batty !

[Jbaine]

Thanks Gemmal. I am relieved and feeling better about everything but you know what it is like to have HA:unsure:

I have nodes all over the place too and at times I begin to panic about them. I know how you feel but honestly if your nodes have been there for 3 years I would say that they are normal and will probably always be there. My docs all say mine are nothing to worry about and that they may always stay the size they are.

:hugs: Pm me if you ever need someone to talk to :)

[Toby2000]

You'd be dead, trust me :)