View Full Version : Where do you think your health anxiety came from?
I rarely feel depressed in my life and the only issue I ever have with anxiety is health.
People ask me where my health anxiety comes from, I'm sure you guys have been asked the same. Where do you think yours comes from?
Honestly with me I can't think where. I remember as a young child, finding a flyer giving parents advice on the signs of meningitis, and seeing the bit about a non-blanching rash and how you could test for this by putting a glass over the rash to see if it disappears.
I was only about 7-8 but I started doing this to every red spot I ever saw on my skin for a good few weeks after that, paranoid that I had meningitis.
So part of me wonders if we can simply have it in our nature not just to have a tendency to anxiety but to health anxiety in particular. I mean in all other aspects of my life I am over confident and risk taking, in fact it's not even health in general, it's the same handful of indiscriminate conditions that we all seem to worry about: brain tumours, MS etc. etc. etc. These things we 1) cannot avoid and 2) cannot be cured. And I guess I have to admit, 3) have symptoms that are vague and common enough to occur normally in people anyway, particularly if they are anxious.
I mean I have worked in refugee camps and jungle hospitals in the middle of cholera epidemics and conflicts and not stopped for a second to worry, and yet a few weeks of soft stool recently reduced me to barely being able to get out of bed through sheer terror at having something incurable.
A counsellor asked if she thought it was related to some childhood trauma, but part of me wonders if it's the fact that my childhood could even have been too safe and secure. Nobody in my childhood years close to me, or myself, ever became seriously ill or died prematurely, I never had a single health problem, not so much as a bit of hay fever, as a child. I had no experience of loss or mortality at all.
I am also a doctor, and people think that it's the knowing "what's out there" that might cause it, and I do think this makes it worse, but I remember my tendency towards this dating back to before medical school.
Then my health anxiety really "began"/kicked off following a car accident last year that I was lucky to have survived... Perhaps these things can be triggered by the rude awakening that you're not invincible? And yet it seems that living a care free and happy life requires that human beings, most of the time, believe they are.. So the question is how to return to that feeling of care free-ness?
Yorkshire born
15-03-15, 23:55
I can remember my grandma telling me that I was the spitting image of her brother when he was my age. She then told me that he just dropped dead one day! That probably didn't help. :scared15:
Once I've managed to convince myself that I'm not ill, I'm still not there yet, I'd like to try some therapy to see if I can get to the root of this. My latest bout has been the worst one I've had. For the first time I've gone beyond just extremely worried, my physical and mental health have been suffering and I need help.
I think it probably first started for me when I was really young- my two female cousins had both died fairly recently, one because of meningococcal. I got ill and my dad freaked out and took me to A&E. I don't remember the visit itself but I know that I've had excessive worries about my health from very early on. I also got dehydrated once at a pretty young age and had to go to hospital overnight. Another time, I was in hospital and ended up needing a drip down my nose (can't even remember why). I reckon it was a combination of these event and a predisposition to health anxiety as anxiety/mental illness runs in both sides of my family.
I think it probably first started for me when I was really young- my two female cousins had both died fairly recently, one because of meningococcal. I got ill and my dad freaked out and took me to A&E. I don't remember the visit itself but I know that I've had excessive worries about my health from very early on. I also got dehydrated once at a pretty young age and had to go to hospital overnight. Another time, I was in hospital and ended up needing a drip down my nose (can't even remember why). I reckon it was a combination of these event and a predisposition to health anxiety as anxiety/mental illness runs in both sides of my family.
This is what I'd expect to cause health anxiety, issues with health in your childhood.
I can remember my grandma telling me that I was the spitting image of her brother when he was my age. She then told me that he just dropped dead one day! That probably didn't help. :scared15:
Once I've managed to convince myself that I'm not ill, I'm still not there yet, I'd like to try some therapy to see if I can get to the root of this. My latest bout has been the worst one I've had. For the first time I've gone beyond just extremely worried, my physical and mental health have been suffering and I need help.
Yeah my latest has been the worst yet too, and unlike previous times, despite ruling out the things I was worried about with the doctors I am still "primed" and hyper vigilant. I don't seem to be able to let it go at the moment, and most of the stressing seems to happen when I sleep, I have such restless dreams and wake up shattered and anxious.
For me I was very ill as a child, I had a stomach ulcer that started in primary school and wasn't diagnosed until I was 17. My gran has also had cancer four times (four different types as well) and is alive to tell the tale but it really scares me and I'm convinced every little symptom is a sign of some type of cancer.
Unlike you guys, I was a happy and healthy kid. I've always had anxiety though. I remember long tuck ins at night where my mom would make me list all the good things that happened that day so I'd fall asleep thinking of those things and not be anxious or afraid. When old enough I read at night or listened to audiobooks/tv/podcasts to sleep and I still do. The health anxiety didn't become a thing until I lost a few family members to various cancers and right after those losses I myself lost two babies (one in second trimester) and suddenly "it can happen to me too" became a huge part of my thought process. Now I have a hard time letting go of any symptom that might turn into anything. This last month has been hell. I did have pneumonia and then a major ear ache. Now I'm unable to turn my focus off of body twitches and such as so recently those little pains did become big ones. It's so hard to trust myself now. It doesn't help that I do have some real problems (ibs and endometriosis and occasional migraines- all diagnosed long before my anxiety focused on health -thank god). I've had to be so busy keeping myself distracted that I'm exhausted. Which, as you know, only gives you more symptoms. Ugh. Anyway, I have always been anxious but only personal losses over the last few years have caused my brain to decide that everyone's dying, especially me. I fear missing my sons life as I never thought I'd get to have a baby. We had such a hard time conceiving (with the losses and the endo). Anyway, thanks for listening.
I don't know I was too young the first memory of it was my nana explained death to me after her neighbour died that i used to go and talk too nobody had explained death to me before then I can remember losing a pen lid and I actually believe I swallowed it this would be the lump in throat feeling a xray later and back to nursery as normal then I can remember thinking you can catch cancer later on so I think it all started there it flared up more after having a horrible after birth experience then after a misscarriage last year my health anxiety since then has been major down hill I'm now worse then the pen lid situation ����
I was absolutely fine no issues whatsoever until my step dad at 38 was misdiagnosed with bladder cancer and killed him.
So watching him take his last breath and being misdiagnosed messed with my head.
Now soon as I get something I think the worst and always have a second opinion from 2 doctors as they don't always get it right.
Plus I now get panic attacks.
Some time ago now, about 15 years.
In 1986 When I was 5 and started school, my mom took an afternoon job after having been a stay at home mom. I went from having her home all of the time to only seeing her on weekends. This caused me major anxiety. I began to have a racing heartbeat and palpitations. My parents took me to the hospital and they ran tests. The doctors concluded it was anxiety.
In 2010 a few months after the birth of my 2nd child I became very anxious again and developed widespread muscle twitching.
Currently I have been worried about many different scary diseases. It is a never ending cycle for me. I am on 10mg of Lexapro for GAD and go to CBT.
AnonyBrit, you have just said it!
Being surrounded by illness and death and trauma and near death experiences.
That's what I think does it.
You can be a strong person, very capable and perfectly normal person.
And then, BAM! Fear strikes and you suddenly realize that your Life can be taken away from you with no warning. In comes the Panic and then we all left with Anxiety.
And every little pain, mark, twitch, rash and so on tells our Brain that something serious could be wrong; even if we are perfectly healthy.
And despite numerous checks with the Doctors, we still can't seem to accept it.
It's as if we are waiting for the 'something bad' to happen.
The only way, to get rid of this feeling is to accept that there is nothing wrong with us and we have nothing to fear. (Easier said than done). :unsure:
I was never anxious as a child or even into adult hood, My anxiety started a year and a half ago when we had some devastating news.
My Auntie was diagnosed with a brain tumor and then my mum was misdiagnosed as having kidney stones when infact she has gallbladder cancer a matter of months later.
This sent me into a downward spiral and with the stress of everything i then developed 'issues' of my own and still today im trying to deal with these as the stress seems to have manifested with some not so nice physical symptoms.
Although sadly my auntie passed away last summer my mum is actually doing pretty good, she has finished her Chemo and has had three clear scans so far.
So yes, i think the stress of having close family members diagnosed certainly triggered my issues.
Compared to the other answers here, mine is really quite pathetic. One lunchtime at work I stood up and suddenly felt numb and weak all over. It lasted for about an hour but it freaked me out. I've been obsessed by it ever since, giving myself all manner of anx-related symptoms for the last four years.
The stupid thing is that it didn't hurt, and didn't last long, yet I've managed to put myself through far worse ever since.
I already had general anxiety, but it became health anxiety as well after my dad died from bowel cancer when I was in my early 20s. When it attacks, I find the HA much more severe than GA. Suddenly it's a matter of life and death!
Now whenever I find a tiny symptom, the health anxiety returns. And I'm sure the general anxiety has created plenty of the symptoms, even when they didn't seem that connected (one thing didn't seem connected but disappeared like magic after the doctor told me it was nothing). But the HA is always more likely to strike if my GA is up, and sometimes if GA is very high I'll find a reason to have HA without any obvious symptoms.
When I have HA, it helps if I remind myself how many times I haven't died in the past;). This site has also been great, so thank you to the contributors:)
I too have never felt depressed (still don't) or been an anxious person, but it's crazy how HA can grip hold.
I can think of a few things growing up that, at the time, didn't cause me massive anxiety but I think over time have built up to where I am now with HA. Probably the first thing I remember was a fellow student in my sixth form contracting meningitis (and almost dying). This was preceded by a student in a local college sadly passing away from meningitis. There was a speight of meningitis cases in the country at the time so it was in the media a lot. I recall being quite worried that I would catch it. And if I started to feel poorly with a cold (or tonsillitis, which I was prone to getting at that age) I would fret that it was the beginning stages of meningitis!
I don't think I really worried about my health between then and recently. But a couple of years ago my husband lost a work friend to cancer. He was our age and had children roughly the same age as ours. From this time onwards, I began to have little spikes of thought pop into my head about the fear of being diagnosed with terminal cancer and having to leave my children without a mother. I managed to keep a lid on it though until recently when I started feeling physically unwell, googled my symptoms (uh-oh!) and worked myself up into a state about it.
I've spoken with my doctor about it and it's apparently common for people to develop health anxiety once they've had children.
---------- Post added at 03:01 ---------- Previous post was at 02:56 ----------
I also want to add a point about those cancer adverts in the media! You know the ones I mean. I know they're necessary as a lot of people ignore symptoms or put off going to their doctor, but gosh, they're no good for those of us prone to HA! I heard the radio ad repeatedly about having indigestion for more than 3 weeks possibly being a sign of cancer. Well guess what, I began getting indigestion/trapped wind symptoms that wouldn't go away. I'm sure that advert being in the back of my mind made my symptoms worse!!
I've had social anxiety for a really long time, sometimes I'm sure I've had some sort of general anxiety from being little. But HA hit me out of the blue, due to what I think was some form of PTSD after being misdiagnosed in 2007. I Had gallstones that eventually led to pancreatitis which led to sepsis in my organs. They didn't catch on as I wasn't your typical patient when it came to pancreatitis (didn't drink at the time at all, but I was very overweight.) I ended up in the hospital in the itu for a few days out of my mind on morphine. Don't remember much except one day I could walk again and one of the junior doctors saw me in the hall and said "wow you look good" as if she was surprised I was still alive. Then I kind of just went back to normal when I got home, put it right in the back of my mind and didn't deal with how serious it was/had been, then last year I started getting a twitch in my stomach and worrying the pancreatitis was coming back. Of course I went to google before going to see a doctor but when I did go to the doctor, I didn't believe her or the next or the next I assume because of the previous misdiagnosis when doctors kept telling me I was fine. I know GA is bad but HA, I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. I was borderline psychotic about it for a few months.
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