Any other mums stuck and home feeling guilty?

[MargaretHale]

I'm a mum of two (huge age gap between them) and I'm at home with my toddler. (2.5)
Despite completing CBT last year with Mind I'm now back to square one. I also have a physical health complaint that means that I should visit the GP more but sadly I get so anxious going to see her that I'm not on top of it.

I feel overwhelming guilt that my toddler is stuck in at home. My eldest didn't have me with MH issues, I was a fun mum who took him swimming and shopping and to the park.

I can't do any of this now and although I'm not suicidal I do feel very very low and as if I'm a huge burden to my family and partner.

I can't seem to get out of this rut...I feel so alone. Anyone else?

MH

[MargaretHale]

Guess it's just me then. :weep:

[Mrsmitchell1984]

I hate going out and so I feel bad when I don't- I have a 12 week old son and I am feeling very low since his birth- but in treatment.

What is your physical complaint? Is there someone that can go to the doctors with you?

Xx

[MargaretHale]

It's a blood disorder, yes there is someone but it will never go completely, just managed.

Glad you're getting help. Sadly our local NHS is swamped and I've waited a year already.

xx

[helloworld]

Hi Margaret.

Not a mum - but a dad - and have similar guilt problems about the fact I find it so hard to take my kids out. Suffer from agoraphobia/panic attacks... Hope you're feeling a bit better these days and don't beat yourself up too much about your kids. I think you can still find lots of things you can do together...

[Shelly15]

I feel the exact same I have a 4 year old and I can't leave the house on my own I feel so guilty that I can't just take him to the park, it makes me fustrated because before I had him I was so independent always busy and since having him I feel like I'm letting him down I don't want him missing out because of me

[IzzyWizzyBizzy]

Hi Margaret,

Although I have been a long time lurker on these boards and use the website frequently, I joined specifically to respond to your thread because I feel as if I could have written it myself.

I am a stay at home mum with a gorgeous 2 year old boy and I feel guilty every single day that I am not giving him the life I want him to have. I have suffered with panic attacks for nearly 10 years but my specific problem is toilet anxiety/agoraphobia - I find it nearly impossible to go anywhere that isn't within 2 minutes of a toilet. Obviously this has severely limited my life and therefore is limiting my son's life.

I would love more than anything just to be able to head out the door everyday with him without a second thought, he loves being outside so much. I cry everyday because of the guilt I feel. The only times he really gets to do anything much is when his dad is at home at the weekend and they go off together to do activities but I stay at home. I too feel a massive burden on my partner and am lucky he is so understanding and supportive or he probably would be long gone by now!

I'm consoling myself with the idea that he is too young to remember this stage and I hope I can get a lot better before he gets to much older. I try to take him to a local play group 3 times a week, although our attendance there can be sporadic depending on how I feel, and we go out for a walk around the block (we live in a lovely grassy area) everyday but I know this isn't exactly very stimulating for him.

I'm currently trying a cbt programme that is helping slowly but surely (very slowly) and I still feel I have more bad days than good ones. I've realised that the less I do the worse I feel so I do try to make an effort to get out with him but still can't make it to the park - it's the next goal on my exposure ladder so hope I will be able to consistently make it there soon. It's very hard though, I too feel stuck in a rut. I feel like I take one step forwards and two steps backwards and find it hard to maintain any motivation to help myself. I'm definitely at a very low ebb and my anxiety is the worst it has ever been.

Sorry for the very long rambling message! I just wanted to let you (and any others out there reading this) know that you are definitely not alone and I find it a help to know that I am not alone either. It is so isolating feeling like this and I often feel I am a bad mother and my son would be better off with someone else who could do lots of things with him. We are trying our best as mums, motherhood is plagued with guilt at every turn anyway, our children love us and they are happy and healthy which is the main thing. We won't always be at such a low ebb, the only way is up after all!

Sending you a virtual hug and all the best wishes in the world :) xxx

[Jamesflames]

I'm a dad with similar feelings of guilt. It was my youngests 6th birthday party on Saturday and I ended up unable to go as agora got in the way. It's left me feeling a bit defeated and depressed really, but I can't give up.

You aren't alone with these feelings Margaret. Try not to beat yourself up over it. Keep pushing for recovery as even a few small achievements can lift your mood and help you get better.