View Full Version : In a bad way
Logan_Five
21-03-15, 22:06
Anxiety has been really bad today - not panic attacks as such, but feeling constantly on edge as well as feeling like I'm going to be sick (which I have been trying to do, to get it out of the way) I took a 2mg Diazepam at 3pm, whilst gave me a few hours peace, but didn't last too long. Feel like I'm sort of climbing the walls - unable to settle and worrying about if I will sleep tonight. :( When my anxiety has been really bad before, I've had sleep problems and it would seem that I'm becoming locked into that cycle again. Monday can't come quick enough - I'm going to go and see the GP to ask for some sleeping pills (to take as and when) and also some more Diazepam, but a stronger dose. 2mg just doesn't seem to do anything and it's not like I've been popping them like smarties - I've had 4 in the last 2 weeks.
Just so fed up and I feel totally a mess. So much has been going on in my head of recent, it's no wonder I'm this ill. I've not even done any relaxation today, but I might try some before bed in a bit. Am at my wits end, almost. :(
Your not alone with this,You described me perfectly, including the trip to the Gp on Monday. Best of luck.
Hi
Its awful when you feel like this,I know.Have you tried any other sort of meds to help?
The stop, start, effect of taking the Diazapan mightn't be as effective as possibly an antidepressant could be,that's what worked better for me.
A tough day by the sounds of it, as hard as it maybe try not to get ahead of yourself with worries and what if's. I remember days like this from my distant past and I remember the what if's and might be's. Even if your anxiety is still up, it will by it's nature come down as the evening progresses, exhaustion will take over and you will sleep ;) I worried about that countless times, so you're not alone there.
Logan_Five
23-03-15, 14:26
Sat night/Sunday was a really bad time and that coupled with a severe lack of sleep, led me to having suicidal thoughts yesterday morning. At that point, I figured it was time to get help (after an hour walking around at 630) Wife came and took me to the walk-in-centre in Newcastle. Saw a doctor and he was very honest - he prescribed me 10 5mg Diazepam tablets to take as and when (have had 3 in last 24 hours) and I've also bumped up my Citalopram to 40mg a day. Call was also placed with the CAT Team (Crisis Action Team) and they have been to see me this morning. Cut a long story short - I'm back at the family home - of to see a doc at 5pm and we'll see where we go from here. The wife has been a huge help to me.
The anxiety just become so over-whelming, coupled with the lack of sleep. Am glad to say that I slept much better today.
Thanks for the good wishes. :)
Its been tough, but take from this the positives
1. You came through it - You are stronger than you think
2. You have sought help - This is where life starts to get better
3. You have the support of your wife - You are not alone in this
Every situation has something positive to teach us. Keep us posted :)
Logan_Five
24-03-15, 12:24
Have had another OK sleep (took a Temazepam) Feel a wee bit anxious at the moment, but nothing I can't handle really - got some more diazepam to hand, just in case. Doc has upped the Citalopram to 30mg per day, with a view to going back up to 40mg towards the end of next week. Gonna head out after lunch to get a bit of fresh air and take the dog for a walk, before the school run to pick up my little girl. It's good to be back 'home' after 9 weeks away.
Good to hear you are making progress, getting out and about makes quite a difference doesnt it? I walked the dog today in a park I havent been to in a very long time. Sun was shining, the dog was causing chaos!
Logan_Five
25-03-15, 11:21
:D It's got to be done, Mart even if we don't feel it. I'm heading out for 30mins on the field, very soon. :)
Yep same here just about to head out with the woofer, have a good one :)
Logan_Five
26-03-15, 18:03
I've actually had my first day free of any anxiety for almost 2.5 weeks. Not sure why, but am relieved. Mind, that's not to say I'm suddenly all better, but it's nice to have some respite.
Awesome news, look upon it as the start of your recovery, your anxiety levels must be dropping to allow you a free day, take them one at a time ;)
Logan_Five
27-03-15, 11:46
Yup - gotta take each day as it comes. I know there will be bad days, but good days too.
Logan_Five
31-03-15, 09:11
Anxiety has cranked up a bit over the last day or so, after 5 days of being 'ok'. Took 7mg diazepam yesterday, along with a Temazepam to help me sleep (slept very poorly the previous night) Anxious again this morning - just popped another 2mg and am now off to see my counsellor.
Not sure as to why it's hit again - Citalpram was upped to 30mg a week a go, with a few to going back up to 40mg at the end of this week. Possible side-effects? :(
Logan_Five
31-03-15, 16:00
Took another 2mg dizepam at just after 2pm and I can 'feel' the anxiety getting worse. :( Counsellor went well and he told me not to be afraid of taking my meds, as it's what they are prescribed for. I had 5 days without taking anything, but am defo in need now. I still have some 5mg's left, so will see how I get on over the next few hours.
Its possible the increase needs to stabilize, hopefully you'll feel an improvement soon.
You've had a few good days recently, you'll get them again :)
Logan_Five
01-04-15, 07:42
I hope so, Aprilmoon. :) Haven't had a great night - took a Temazepan to help me sleep, but was awake at 4am and tossed and turned until it was time to get up. Took 5mg Diazepam about 30mins ago as anxiety not great, especially in the morning. At the docs tomorrow, so am gonna have to be honest that am struggling at the moment.
Louise190685
01-04-15, 08:39
LoganFive my anxiety is always worse in the morning too :(
Logan_Five
01-04-15, 11:05
Louise - if I remember, the morning anxiety is something to do with Cortisol levels. I just know if I'd gotten a better night's sleep then the anxiety wouldn't be so bad today. It's a vicious circle for me. :(
Yep mine too, its also the dawning of a new day ... how am I today? what will happen today? etc etc
Logan_Five
01-04-15, 12:50
Think it's because I've had two ropey night's sleep and the Temazepam (10mg) hasn't kept me asleep all night. I might try doubling the dose tonight to see how I get on. Just took another 5mg diazepam about 15mins ago, after anxiety kicked back in and I started dry wretching. :( Appetite has disappeared today - been drinking OJ and have had a banana thus far - I can't face owt else at the moment.
Logan_Five
01-04-15, 21:50
Managed to have some chicken soup and bread for a late tea - have laid off the caffine and only had one cup of tea today. Still going to double the Temazepam dose in the hope that I won't wake up at 4am again and be unable to get back to sleep. Mother-in-law is taking my little girl to school tomorrow, so I can have a little lie in if need be. Docs at 10am.
Logan_Five
02-04-15, 11:43
Saw a doc that is different to the one I normally see and whilst she was very nice, she wouldn't prescribe me Pregabalin which I was hopeful for. She says that I need to give the increased Citalopram extra time to kick in as the anxiety and sleep problems may well be side effects. Also been told to stop worrying so much about sleep (easier said than done!) - that I need to accept I might have a bad night's kip and that my body will eventually give in and sleep. The lack of sleep is what feeds my anxiety, so it's a vicious circle. Gotta watch what I'm doing with regards to the diazepam and temazepam, so am going to try to do without both today and tonight. Double dose didn't do much last night - still woke up very early and tossed and turned until I got up at 830am.
She has also prescribed me Zopiclone which I have to use very sparingly. Back for another appointment, next Thursday and have also been signed off work for another 4 weeks.
Logan I have replied on the other thread about my thoughts on this.
Sarah
Logan_Five
02-04-15, 13:10
Will have a read, Sarah. :)
Logan_Five
03-04-15, 11:09
Pleased to report that I had a better night's sleep, abeit with the help of 10mg Temazepam. Was tired when I went to bed at just before midnight- must have fallen asleep pretty quickly. Good thing was no waking up with a shock at 3 or 4am. :)
Wee bit anxious this morning - but nothing I can't handle at the moment. The wife and daughter are off to a holiday park for a week, today (caravan) Going with extended family, so there's no room for me - not that I'm built for caravans anyway. ;) I'm off to stay at my dad's for a week - more just to have some company and someone to keep an eye on me. My sister lives very close by (she has net access) to I'll be at hers a fair bit. Mam is only a couple of miles away and the bonus is that the holiday park is only 5miles away so I can visit everyday. Hopefully today is a better day and I'm back on the up. :)
Good luck Logan... hope you have a good break.
sarah
Logan_Five
10-04-15, 11:57
I've been away from this thread for a week, with staying at dad's (he has poor net access) Bit of an update - the Citalopram seems to have kicked in and the anxiety has dropped off, save for a wee bit when I wake up in the morning. I've had no diazepam or temazepam for a week now and I'm doing 'ok'. Not sleeping wonderfully, but am managing enough. Was at the GP yesterday - she wants me to stay at 30mg Citalopram for another couple of weeks and see how i feel then. If the anxiety comes back- I can bump it up to 40mg. I'm not out of the woods yet, but I feel a bit better in myself, although problems with the oldest step-daughter has reared it's head again over the last 24 hours, so it's made me realize that there is still much work ahead for me and my wife. Wife and daughter are back home from the caravan (which I've visited everyday), so a quiet weekend beckons.
Glad things have been a bit better for you :)
Logan_Five
11-04-15, 13:27
Well, anxiety has flared up a wee bit today and yesterday, due to some on going extended family issues. :( The sort of kind that made me ill in the first place and that I was supposed to be trying to avoid, but alas. Not outta the woods yet.
Well done Logan on shopping the Valium. You can do this:D
Logan_Five
11-04-15, 21:47
Anxiety bad tonight - popped 5mg Diazepam about an hour ago, but it's had little effect. Have been dry wretching off/on for the last 45mins or so. It's put paid to tonight's TV viewing for myself and the wife.
I've not helped myself the last couple of days (because I thought I was on the mend!) I've done a couple of mammoth Football Manager sessions (all day-ers - not through the night) had not really had any exercise. I must not get complacent as there is still plenty work ahead. Going to take another Temazepam at bedtime tonight, to see if that can give me a few hours kip at least. Took one last night, after a week off. Kind of accept that this is going to come and go before I get back to normal. I've just got to watch out for triggers - although there wasn't much I could do about the one the other day. Family stuff. :mad:
Was at the docs on Thurs and told her that I'd had a good week. Low and behold 2 days later. :D Back at the docs two weeks on Monday - might have to discuss going back up to 40mg Citalopram, which I was on previously.
Logan_Five
12-04-15, 11:11
Not a great night, last night. Didn't feel as if I slept, but I guess I must have had some otherwise I'd be wrecked at the time of writing this. Took a Temazepam but I guess I was just that wound up, that it had little effect. Been some more dry retching this morning, although I have taken the decision to up my Citalopram to 40mg (from 30) as of today. Gonna head out for a walk soon, despite the crappy weather. Needs to be done.
Logan_Five
14-04-15, 10:00
Well, I popped a Zopilcone on Sunday night and it did the trick.... slept well, anxiety down yesterday. So much so that I didn't have to take I managed fine yesterday and no problems at bedtime - I've slept unaided. :) Good to know that I have these things in reserve when needed.
Just got to worry about the car passing it's MoT today, first though. ;-)
Logan_Five
15-04-15, 11:04
Another reasonable night's sleep (no meds) and am feeling OK today. Been to the counsellor this morning, which went well. We discussed my extended family problems (and how to try to deal with them) and also my issues surrounding sleep when anxiety is bad.
Car got through it's MoT too and just needed a wee bit of work doing. :)
Logan_Five
17-04-15, 12:24
Anxiety has been up a little bit yesterday and today, though managable in that I haven't needed to take any Diazepam, though I took a Tem last night to make sure I slept ok - which I did. Anxiety does tend to be worse in the morning when I wake up - probs the Cortisol effect. Hopefully it will burn off a wee bit this pm, as we are off for a visit to the Roman Wall - so fresh air awaits!
Good news though, in that Tyneside MIND have put me in touch with a Newcastle-based service, called Moving Forwards. Heading along for a chat with them, next Thursday. Apparently they do stuff like courses, coffee mornings, social events, etc. With the wife and daughter heading back to work/school next week - I need to develop a routine to keep myself reasonably busy and give myself things to look forward to, as opposed to sitting in the house and winding myself up. When I find out more about it, I'll post a thread somewhere to make those who live in the North East aware of the service. :)
Logan_Five
18-04-15, 20:31
Birthday today and the anxiety hasn't been great. Woke up anxious (after taking a Tem last night) and it's loitered all day. Took 4mg diazepam a couple of hours ago, which is helping - first time I've had some for almost a week (which is good) Think what I'm fretting about, is that the wife and daughter return to work/school on Monday, so am gonna be on my own through the day... anxiety seems to have latched on to that. I am planning stuff to do through the week to keep myself busy and my in-laws are only 2mins around the corner and am sure I'll be welcome if I need some company.
Last couple of days, I've upped my Citalopram from 30mg to 40mg per day (which was what I was on last year, before I came off it) Been back on it 8 weeks now I think- know I need to stick with it a bit longer - am due back at the docs a week on Monday to see how I'm doing. Hopefully it's just a naff few days to get through until I get a new routine for myself.
Happy Birthday :)
Good luck with the MIND thing. It sounds really good.
I've been going to a similar place in Merseyside,and found it really good.
It was good to meet other people who've had similar experiences.
Logan_Five
18-04-15, 23:44
Oh yeah April - most definitely. The social thing will be a real benefit (like this place) Kind of makes you realize that you aren't alone. :)
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