Tips on how to cope with a major trigger...

[snowflake293]

I am really struggling today. This is the worst my anxiety has been since before Christmas. I feel cold all over, shaky/on edge and even got globus (pain/lump in throat) so panicking over that now too! I don’t know how to deal with this. I am managing to just about function and get through the day. Trigger this time was a dodgy mole on my backside so waiting for a call back from the doctors surgery to see if I can get seen today. Finding concentrating almost impossible!!!

Keep thinking a ‘normal’ person without HA would be worried over a dodgy mole too and that makes it more real if that makes sense? If I saw this mole on a friend I would tell them to go get it checked. The fact its on my bum bothers me too, seems a strange place.

Does anyone have any tips for me on how to deal with this? All that seems to help is being reassured and I know I need to break the cycle!

So annoying cause before this I had a few ‘minor’ worries that I managed to get rid of! I was doing so well and really thought I was over all this L Its just you cant really take a chance with a dodgy looking mole L

Argh!

[wnsos]

Have you read/worked through the free CBT booklet provided on NMP? Was my starting point xx

[Fishmanpa]

As I mentioned on your post about this, its apparent you're spiraling. Reassurance is obviously not working (it never really does). People can give tips and advice but ultimately, you have to act on it. Do you have a therapist you can call? What about a hotline? Maybe a chill pill is in order to help get you over the hump.

As wnsos suggested, download the CBT handbook. I personally found it helpful with some personal GAD and depression issues. This site, while helpful in that there are others in your shoes, and cathartic in being able to write out your fears, is not a substitution for a mental health professional. If your feelings persist, it would be wise to pursue that route.

Positive thoughts

[snowflake293]

Thank you both so much, such good advice and I know myself I would feel miles better if I followed it and it would help me recover from health anxiety.

I think what has frightened me is how suddenly the mole appeared. However my boyfriend thinks it has always been there. I am so aware of my own body though (due to the health anxiety) that I swear I had never seen it before the other day.

I took a photo and zoomed in (good quality) and it looks so much like a melanoma I had to delete the photos and I cried and cried and almost begged my boyfriend to take me to A&E as I didn't know what else to do.

I have calmed down now and talked it though. I know I have health anxiety, but this time I am really, really, really concerned. I am seeing the doctor tomorrow and I am prepared for her to be concerned and refer me, purely based on how this mole looks. Yes, I know I am not a doctor - but this mole looks dodgy. It just helps me to mentally prepare.

My biggest fear is that is may have spread, although it is small (about 4mm). Its just so scary looking. I know melanomas are rare and there is every chance it could be an atypical benign mole, but it just looks so strange - unlike anything else. I just have that awful feeling.

Right now I am calm, but I can't eat and could barely finish a cup of tea earlier. I know I have to eat and practice self care, but all my mind does is revert to this horrible, gut wrenching panic. I feel like I am drowning.

Right now my life is so good, my boyfriend and are I about to get engaged, we're off on holiday in a month! I am doing a sponsored swimming event in 3 weeks time! I am just so scared that having this mole whipped off and analysed, AND if it IS cancer (which I just have that awful feeling it is) will wreck all that.

I know mentally I am not in a good place. It is just so awful as this time last week I was doing GREAT! I had a fantastic CBT appointment and everything was looking up.

My approach is to stay calm, stay rational, keep off Google and try and distract myself as much as possible.

Fishmanpa - I definitely need a chill pill. I don't have any diazepam but I had some Pregabalin/Lyrica so took a few of those. Not sure if they will do the same thing.

When I see the doctor tomorrow, whether she says the mole looks worrying and needs to come off or whether she says not to worry - I will be talking to her about my health anxiety and getting more help for that.

I will also talk to my therapist at my next CBT session.

In such a dark place right now and any words of hope/comfort are welcomed. I am not hugely religious but I do believe in God and I prayed earlier for strength and comfort and it helped.

[snowflake293]

I saw the doctor and guess what? She said the mole isn't anything to worry about! I am still not convinced cause of how it looks (I took a photo of it and zoomed in and it is really irregular and strange looking, not like when I took a photo of a normal mole to compare it too) also I only noticed it a few days ago although my bf thinks it has been there a while.

Anyway I totally accept I have a problem. I had a complete meltdown at the doctors (as predicted) and she wanted to sign me off work for 2 weeks but I explained to her I find being at work a good distraction. She insisted on increasing the Sertraline from 50mg to 100mg and wouldn't prescribe diazepam.

Back home now and I just feel like I am losing it. I don't know whats real and whats not. I pity my poor bf who has to put up with all this. Honestly today was an all time low.

It scares me how I can actually believe something to be true! Its just making me question everything now. I'm exhausted and aching all over.

Totally had enough.