worrywart29
23-03-15, 22:42
Since Maybe my teens I always had a fear of doctors and would only go if it was a dire need. Recently I had to take meds and while on the meds noticed some weird side effects. I stupidly Googled the medicine and was met by a bunch of horror stories from others that used it and was now debilitated or still struggling to get well once stopping. I think I cried and Googled that entire night reading the stories only made me worse because alot of What they were experiencing was Exactly what I was feeling which made me Google in the first place. For days I would Google and cry cause I was now convinced that I was going to end up being one of those stories. I must say the side effects from the medicine has subsided but now I have been left with extreme health anxiety I Google all day even while at work and have convinced myself that I had a heart problem (went for ekg turned out normal) still convinced something was wrong with my heart so I started pulse checking at least every 10 minutes this lasted until I started getting a weird constant dizzy feeling and blocked ears suddenly I didn't obsess over my heart I now had a brain tumor to worry about (at least That's What I thought) started Googling brain tumors and worried myself to death started to go to the er for a cat scan but my fear of doctors that I had from young suddenly appeared out the blue and I realized I didn't want them to confirm What I suspected because I didn't know how I would deal with it. Couple days after this I developed difficulty swallowing and food sticking in my throat accompanied by a constant lump in throat Googled and found out it could be esophageal cancer. I decided at that point i had to do something because i am literally dying with worry. presently these symptoms are constant with me everyday as well as the dizzy feeling. I don't know the first step in getting out of this vicious cycle and just wanted to tell my story since I'm afraid of telling anyone for fear of looking insane. Sorry it's long winded.