Fed up of everything. And I don't know what to do.

[little.miss.worry]

I go the doctors literally every single week with something new. I'm at breaking point. I go to counselling every Tuesday, at the moment, it's not helping me at all. I am trying with it and trying these different techniques but I'm not improving. Obviously you have to give it time so I'm trying to keep faith :)

So anyway, tomorrow antics will be, once again off to the doctors with something new! On Friday, I found a lump under my chin and it feels like a hard, bigger than a pea sized shape ball. After looking on No More Panic I discovered that it could just be a gland that has swollen for whatever reason. But, because I've poked and prodded it that much it's starting to really hurt and it's very tender. And since today, i've been getting really bad ear pain. And i'm thinking maybe it's all linked. So, i'm going to have to get it checked out. Ear pain doesn't worry me much because I know if it was an ear infection it goes away with anti biotics. But what's bothering me more is this lump. It must be enlarged for a reason and i'm worried it's something bad :(

And, i'm getting myself in a tizz because i'm embarrassed to keep going the doctors every week and i'm tired of it. I'm worried they'll turn around and tell me to get lost quite frankly. Considering I go about something new ALL of the time. I just don't know what to do with myself anymore :shrug: I feel alone all of the time too which makes me cry. I have people here for me but I just don't feel like family and friends truly understand. It's ruining my life. :weep:

[Allidee]

I'm right there with you, dear. Another week, another doctor visit. It's becoming a waste of money because I'm only comforted for so long after the appointment until I find something else. :/ It's the neck lump that's the main focus of my anxiety lately. Today it was also deep vein thrombosis and a brain tumor. I had a complete breakdown tonight because I feel like no one understands. My boyfriend just tells me to "start being positive". Gee, if only it were that easy.

It seems like neck lumps are a very common fear on here, and just like you, I've been prodding at it constantly. I'm sure I've made it much worse than it is.

I hope you're able to feel a little better <3 I just try to tell myself that if there really is something horribly wrong (which is extremely unlikely) that there's nothing I can do to change it at this point. Sometimes that gives me some comfort....most times there's not much that can comfort lol but just know you're not alone!

Also, the ear pain could very likely be the cause of a swollen node if there's an infection!

[little.miss.worry]

I'm right there with you, dear. Another week, another doctor visit. It's becoming a waste of money because I'm only comforted for so long after the appointment until I find something else. :/ It's the neck lump that's the main focus of my anxiety lately. Today it was also deep vein thrombosis and a brain tumor. I had a complete breakdown tonight because I feel like no one understands. My boyfriend just tells me to "start being positive". Gee, if only it were that easy.

It seems like neck lumps are a very common fear on here, and just like you, I've been prodding at it constantly. I'm sure I've made it much worse than it is.

I hope you're able to feel a little better <3 I just try to tell myself that if there really is something horribly wrong (which is extremely unlikely) that there's nothing I can do to change it at this point. Sometimes that gives me some comfort....most times there's not much that can comfort lol but just know you're not alone!

Also, the ear pain could very likely be the cause of a swollen node if there's an infection!

Hey, thank you for the reply, its made me feel a little better about everything :) I worried that my lump was something bad like a tumor at first and then I realised I was being really silly so that's why I did some research on nmp. I thought I'm not going to google because it'll come up Im dying like always :/ and it is difficult to stay positive especially when you focus most of your time on pain or lumps and bumps :(

I was thinking that, I know I have made it worse by prodding it :/ and I know what you mean about telling yourself there's nothing you can do to change it at this point because sometimes I think that too. And with the ear pain etc that's what I was thinking too, it must be swollen because of my ear pain. (I'm also getting throat pain now which is really annoying me because it could just be a cold but then again it could be something else) hopefully this trip to the weekly doctors appointment will make me feel better.

Once again thank you so much for replying and making me feel better. I really appreciate it! :hugs:

[MyNameIsTerry]

Lymph nodes swell up as part of the immune system response to a local infection. This is all normal though.

So perhaps you have an infection and antibiotics are needed? This would be perfectly legitimate as a reason to visit your GP so please don't feel embarrassed.

I can understand your feelings. Whilst I don't have HA, I do have OCD and since I'm not working and due to how late I go out walking, I'm usually going the same places which makes we wonder what people think of me. The local supermarket see me constantly.