Recovery - what was your turning point?

[snowflake293]

Hi everyone

I am interested to hear from NMP users who are recovering/recovered from health anxiety. I am curious to know what was your turning point in your recovery?

A friend of mine who has recovered said her turning point was when she realised living in fear of illness was actually worse for her than actually having the illness. It really got me thinking hearing her say this...


I started to feel much better over the last month. I found not Googling, not asking others for reassurance, 'acknowledging' thoughts then moving on and getting lots of exercise and eating well helped. Was doing fine until Sunday when a mole on my backside (of all places lol) set me off into a frenzy. Ended up sobbing in the doctors surgery yesterday and had my medication doubled :weep:

I know set backs are part of recovery, but I am really eager to focus on positive things as much as I can now. I know a lot of people on here have had periods where their health anxiety has subsided and I am keen to hear more about this is people are happy to share.

Snowflake xxx

[Fishmanpa]

Check out the Success Stories and Top Tips section of the forum for a start as well as cpe's Get a plan and get on it sticky at the top of the page ;)

Positive thoughts

[snowflake293]

Thanks. I had read through some of those threads some time ago but will revisit.

Very keen to have someone good to focus on. At the moment I am just worrying over when the next freak out will come along...

Would really like to hear if anyone has had any sort of 'defining moment' in overcoming their health anxiety...

[Fishmanpa]

With all due respect, you said it yourself, when you stopped Googling and seeking reassurance (which, whether you admit it or not, you're currently doing), you improved greatly. While this site is a comfort in knowing you're not alone in your struggles and cathartic in being able to write down your thoughts, it's also detrimental in that it keeps you focused on your anxiety as opposed to working on it. And working on it starts with you, not with responses to a post.

In cpe's sticky he says this:

'Your recovery from HA starts when you start to fear not living now more than you do dying'

There it is... I'll take my leave of this thread and hope you find the inner fortitude to put the dragon in his place.

Good luck to you and positive thoughts

[wnsos]

I keep meaning to write a success story but I'm always worried (ain't that just the way it
Goes) if I do, it'll come and bite me in the ass. It wasn't the point I started getting better but my turning point was when I was so convinced I had a lump in my arm that I felt it all night, poked and prodded, then the next day it was sore and bruised up as anything. My doctor felt it for me anyway because she's lovely, and explained it was my muscle. Being convinced of a lump them medically being told no was a big wake up call for me. On top of that, I was sick of lying around all day crying. It was and is a long road and most of it I did by myself with the support of the getting there slowly thread. You have to just decide no, no I'm not doing that, like you did before.

[snowflake293]

thanks guys. I was doing really well for about a whole month then I saw that mole and freaked out again. I think deep down my health anxiety is due to a fear of losing everything I love. Every time I have an episode I wish it was a turning point. Every time I wish I could think back to how I was convinced I was dying and wasn't, but every time it happens feels so real.

[Mindknot]

I think deep down my health anxiety is due to a fear of losing everything I love.

I'm not terribly good with words when it comes to describing the way I feel about my turning point, but starting from the above statement - well, the very real fact is, at some point yes, this will happen. But if that's twenty years from now, then I personally didn't want to spend those 20 years shutting myself away from it all, fretting over what might happen, because when it comes down to it, the future me will regret all that wasted time, missed experiences, lost loves. The fact is, if the doctor tells you you are not ill now, then best to make the best of it, and you really can't do that unless you try your best to get away from being in an anxious cycle... To sum everything up in a cheesy hashtag, literally #YOLO.

I'm sorry if that's in any way triggering, it's hard for me too, but I'm still waging the war of attrition against my existential crisis, maybe always will be. At least I'm enjoying myself a lot more these days. :yesyes:

[matrix123]

I don't think there was some "turning point"...it was more a process. In my case once SSRI started working they made the difference.

[snowflake293]

I'm not terribly good with words when it comes to describing the way I feel about my turning point, but starting from the above statement - well, the very real fact is, at some point yes, this will happen. But if that's twenty years from now, then I personally didn't want to spend those 20 years shutting myself away from it all, fretting over what might happen, because when it comes down to it, the future me will regret all that wasted time, missed experiences, lost loves. The fact is, if the doctor tells you you are not ill now, then best to make the best of it, and you really can't do that unless you try your best to get away from being in an anxious cycle... To sum everything up in a cheesy hashtag, literally #YOLO.

I'm sorry if that's in any way triggering, it's hard for me too, but I'm still waging the war of attrition against my existential crisis, maybe always will be. At least I'm enjoying myself a lot more these days. :yesyes:

Ever since I was little I have always struggled to accept death. I remember crying myself to sleep and feeling sad a lot of the time thinking about how awful it would be if anything happened to my parents. I was very clingy to them 'til I hit my teens.

You are totally right, it comes to us all and what matters is enjoying the now and not focusing on the end. I just find it so hard accepting being told I am ok when I truly believe I am not. I keep thinking of those stories you see in magazines about people who had cancer and the doctors missed it :( sorry if that is triggering for anyone. I am just really confused.

I am very lucky and have a lovely family and partner who understand and are so patient with me, but they also kind of enable it too if you know what I mean? I keep asking for their reassurance and they give it etc... the cycle continues. I am aware I need to break it.

I am going to make a plan I think. I'm going to start writing my feelings down, and recording what did/how I felt. The CBT person I see suggested this too.

Thanks for your reply Mindknot. I am glad to hear you are enjoying yourself a little more these days x

---------- Post added at 19:45 ---------- Previous post was at 19:44 ----------


I don't think there was some "turning point"...it was more a process. In my case once SSRI started working they made the difference.

I think perhaps with me it will be a process too. I have been on Sertraline since December last year and have just had my dose increased so hoping I will feel the effects of it a little more. I definitely noticed a marked difference about 2 months after taking it.

[cluesforblues]

In my case it was the birth of my second child... I was in a terrible mess at the time. I had taken myself off meds and was slowly dissapearing into my own world. Distant detached and miserable. I just woke up one morning looked at myself in the mirror headed downstairs picked up the phone and made an appointment with my gp. I had suddenly realised I was so busy worrying about what might happen to me I was missing everything that was happening.
I headed to the gp got a prescription for citalopram and decided I was gonna enjoy my wife and kids and stop worrying about things I had no control over. My fear was always cancer after loosing my father suddenly to the disease. I would even turn off adverts about it!
Unfortunately at the end of last year my 23 year old niece was diagnosed with bone cancer and also my sister in law. My nieces prognosis is good but my sister in laws isn't... I faced that straight on, they had to so it was the least I could do to give them the support they needed... An illness is an illness whatever you fear . but you have no control over these things and that is what makes us all so uncomfortable. We like to control everything, monitor everything... But that just cannot be. Look around you at what you have... Start living, if you need help go get it... But don't spend your whole life worrying about something that may never happen.