View Full Version : Why would anything physical create such intense head crushing pain?
Fed up of this - today like almost everyday but much worse I've not even had enough cognitive power to try to think outside my own mind, I've struggled cognition wise and been in very bad pain all day, I've been stuck feeling like I take anything in at even when I'm doing tasks as small as dressing my son mentally hurts crushing pain!! Awarness problem!! I feel
Like screaming!!!!!!! all I feel like my heads being crushed inwards, I can't open out!! I'm fed up of feeling like this it's making me suicidle!
I've just tried light excercise in my garden more than 5 minutes on my punch bag to try lift my spirit and try to
Find some pride but just doing slow soft boxing and the pain become worse my clarity went more inward and my head feels like I've got no blood in it. I can barley find the mind power to think to try to concentrate,
I can no longer deal with this I'm like this constant and have no life I don't do anything because I dont think to what I do do I do in this state and it hurts and I can't take it in,
Not sure how much longer I can carry on like this.
Hi Ollie,
When were in the midst of high anxiety and panic, things often seem hopeless, that doesnt mean to say they are. Your mind is brimming with panicky thoughts, there just isnt room for anything else and that creates a feeling of 'disconnection' Have you tired distraction tecniques? listening to music, something interesting on TV or even doodling on a piece of paper can all help to ground your thoughts. Its very likely that this level of panic is causing muscles all over your body (including your head) to contract - its a protective reaction, but in turn it can be responsible for physical pain, it also exhausting!
Try some distraction for a little while and see if it helps and perhaps som breathing exercises?
I'm constantly like this almost 24/7 though from the second I wake up until the second I go sleep, it gets worse and sometimes it goes a little or can go completely just like click - but then it returns. I'm trying not to work it out in just trying to be aware of it but it's so so bad I don't have a choice. It's really really intense and painful, it's getting worse too Im sure it is. I know my awarness is getting worse and my figuring things out, I think having children is so much harder too because there's not just me to worry about, I'm one of them if my little boy or girls playing I have to join in otherwise I feel guilty them
Being alone so i can't even rest through the day I feel like a low life being out of work like this - my wife keeps telling me to forget it I'm
I'll but I can't accept it I can't live like I am feeling so how can I relax. I want to feel
Like I use to and do what I use to, a lot of the time my symptoms are so painful and my cognition is so so bad Im sure there is something else wrong for it to be so debilitating and severe. I'm so bad I cant even register what I'm being told so I can read advise or be told someting and I constantly feel like I can not no matter how hard I try take it in, it physically hurts to try do this!! Here's my life daily - sorry it's so long.
symptoms and what Im having to go through on a daily basis 24/7 14 months solid - described the best way i can.
1) 24/7 impaired cognitive, awarness and thinking problems, i can no longer physically/mentally think like i have done and been able to all my life, i have servere short term memory & awareness problems and feelings. I feel like I can not take nothing in, I don't feel the awarness of being aware of what I've just seen or heard 24/7 when I try to listen or watch to take things in it physically hurts really bad, creates a intense crushing pain and servers awarness and cognition problems. I have No awareness of satisfaction I've just completed a task or spoke/seen someone etc. If I do I can walk away & within seconds not feel aware it's just happened or what I've been doing. I feel like I'm only aware of what I'm doing at that exact time and not before it or after or future planning, I have no natural feeling of satisfaction in that sense as above. (Yet if someone asked me I could give a answer yet I don't or can't naturally re think or feel aware of it like I use to) example - Louis's had a car crash with the kids in the car, when I was told it feels like I can't connect to it my mind is not taking it in and I'm not aware and open. once i got louise and the kids home within 10 minutes of being home I had no felling of awarness it had just happened, I didn't ask how she was how my kids were I didn't take about it to me I might of well just not happened!!!!) it wasn't until
Later on that evening I took the finish out and seen the damage to the car and then it "clicked" it has happened yet even then it was like I couldn't work it out still I felt nothing mentally or physically or emotionally... It's frustrating and upsetting! IM STUCK FEELING LIKE THIS 24/7 with this awarness problem! It can intensify and also open up! Like there's a lack of something but I never feel 100% like I have all my life and it's frustrating, painful and debilitating.
I cant mentally or physically think outwards with my mind, I have to talk to myself to tell myself to try to think outwards and I can't do it, I try and it it feels like im being blocked or that part of my brain is not working no more, i can feel my mind physically pushing open trying to process the thought I'm trying to create but i can feel the pressure and pain of my mind struggling and it feels like it's being blocked or plugged in some way so i cant physically think to create ideas or think of things to do. I can only do this for seconds and I have to stop I run out of power. But like anyone I don't naturally get these type of thoughts no more - that's why I have to consciously tell myself to try to think about things that I would subconsciously "automatically" think about feel it register I've thought about it feel the emotion of it then act upon it if in what ever amount of time it takes) it's there like a idea to take my wife away or my children to a party or important date - once it's gone it's gone no awarness I even had that idea again 24/7 like this.
When I try to think I can physically feel it happening and i feel the change In parts of the brain when I change thoughts it hurts and It puts a sharp shooting sensation down the middle of my body in my chest sometimes my spine.
2) No free flowing thinking being created and awareness and connection between the two. Feels like my conscious and subconscious mind are detached from one another there not working together. I constantly feel like I'm stuck in my conscious mind, the front the of my head that's all I have to function with, the rest of my head feels dead or I'm not using it rendering my awarness & feelings & cognition.
Something will happen and to me its as if it hasn't I've no recollection of it just happening unless its brought up by someone else. My body constantly feels wrong or strange. (Not dream like as DP is described)
Small moments of "anxiousness" that in the past i would of usually felt the "butterfly's" of that adrenaline feeling in the stomach now instead I get shooting pain down my spine that hurts.
Sad emotion feeling after crying physically hurts - feels like I'm having prickly/tickling sensation through my whole body.
3) Exercise light or heavy creates physical pain in my head - the pain feels like ive not got enough blood circulating in my head or brain yet because im trying to use the muscle it pounds. I get a really painful throbbing pain like i can feel the blood trying to be pumped around my head.
Small things like playing football with my children, bouncing on a bouncy castle with my children for only a few seconds moments and I have to stop the pain is that bad.
4) Trying to concentrate & listen to someone talk for literally for only a few seconds creates crushing and sharp tense " fatigue?" pain, clarity problems & confusion, i totally lose all my mental clarity very quick and easy to the point i cant take in nothing or know whats happening or where i am, struggle to breath too. Trying to reply is impossible sometimes I have to walk away just trying to think how to reply before even finding the power to reply puts me in pain and confusion/cognition problems, sometimes Courses body nerve pain too. Nerve pain down my back. Feels like a tingling sharp pains
5) Lack of intelligence 24/7 I feel like I cant think straight or powerful it physically hurts to do so. I feel un intelligent and stupid. I can't connect to ideas or conversations with people, I can't take things in to work out a reply or to figure out what's being asked, I struggle to work things out like money in a shop, puzzles. Questions, Im scared to talk to someone because I can't have an intelligent conversation I feel like I can't work out what there telling me or asking and I struggle to know how I reply.
Constantly feel wrong through out my body, my ears feel constantly mute & crunching sounds. My cognition is constantly off.
6) I have to sit at night and lay on my bed on my own and "try" to THINK to THINK myself to try to remember what I've done all day, who I've seen, where i have been, this can be as big as seeing a specialist, a major think that's happened, visiting friends & family, major things happening through out the day that you naturally are aware has happened without looking deep inside for it. I have to TRY to remember things my children said and done, try to feel the connection and emotion towards it, TRY to tell myself think about facial expressions and things my kids said because at the time it feels to me like I'm not connected to it and it's not going in so I need to try to remember it otherwise il never enjoy my life.
7) Severe Head pressure with very bad pains which leads to sudden cognitive function and breathing difficulty. I've had moments where my body has gone completely physically numb suddenly to the point I can't feel Louise pinching me as hard as she can and at the same time I can't figure anything out as if I've become completely detached or powerless and confused yet I know it's happening to me.
Just a little concentration put me in head pain and bodily nerve pain, the longer i try the more intense it becomes, gets to the point totally in agony body and head, clarity, memory awareness are non existent, its do bad i slur words and no have no outwards connection and feel confused. It Feels like my mind and body are being deep fried, i cant breath proper - i find i end up having to take deep breathes to relieve the feeling a little, i end up feel weak enough to collapse. Head and body feeling very weak confused and disorientated, the pain is so severe it i can only describe it like it like my head is being crushed.
The pains are always there, less when my body is relaxed but it's there in the core of my head, anything to physical it becomes worse. I get tense crushing inwards pains, sudden shooting pains, sharp stabbing pain, electric shock pain, warped like feeling like my heads suddenly being drained of blood and my head feels empty and warped. Bad crunching neck and inner ear crunching.
8) Mind feels blank, no ideas just like a empty lifeless to the point I can't count in my own mind it's just switched "off"
9) I Don't physically do things or think about people or places as if they don't even exist as my mind wont mentally naturally allow me to or just create these type of thoughts so if i don't or cant think about them I'm not even aware to do them, its as if they don't exist - its a frustrating feeling this is things and people Ive spoke to and done all my life on a hourly or daily basis, regulations and mandatory checks i have to do as part of my job i no longer do but im not aware at the time im not doing this - its as if my awareness of doing them doesn't exist I'm like this with almost everything constant on things done all my life. Like there's a chunk missing out my brain - the subconscious feeling of awarness and feeling to naturally be aware to process the idea and act upon it.
It's as if my minds switched from "automatic" to "manual" I have to think to think. Think to think to act, think to tell myself to listen to then listen but all along I'm detached so can't take nothing in.
10) Almost 24/7 i feel like i have no connection between thoughts & ideas, i cant think in a certain way no more - i dont get free flowing thoughts about everyday things, (my children, hobbies, friends, activities, places ect) so i have to tell my self to try to think about those things and i cant physically do it it, if i try it hurts and it feels like the part of the mind i need to use i cant.
11) Complete lack of mind power 24/7 - its frustrating and i feel confused.
I have Constant pain in the left side of my kkneck up in to the back of my head
12) I Feel lost 24/7 & confused like I'm not sure what to do or could be doing. When driving I can't figure out best routes or remember my way out places it's as if I've not taken in the way I've come when going there, I often come out of clients houses and not be aware or feel aware of where I am working or how I got to the house what route i took or what part of the town or place I'm in. Stuck feeling like this so I just have to make everything up as I go along instead of feeling intelligent enough to just openly feel aware of such things like I use to be able to.
13) I Struggle to breath and then il notice I've not breathed for a while so I take 1 big one to get a relieve when this can be when resting or doing something physical
14) Always thirsty for a cold drink
15) Head & body being saverly crushed, sometimes feels like I'm being physically sneezed & suffocated, im in some form of pain 24/7 my eyes also go blurry and i cant physically think or feel aware of think outwardsness.
16) sudden episodes of Pain if trying to do two demanding things at once (watch my little boy and concentrate on where i am and what im doing) it starts with nerve pain through my lower body then up in to my back, my head starts to feel crushed, i lose clarity i start to feel very very weak mind power and body power i have prickling sharp Nerve pain, cant walk or talk proper i feel weak in this sudden state & i have to hold my self up or il just fall to the ground. My wife has witnessed this happen many of times and noticed the colour drain from my face. I also feel physically sick - feels like I'm dying at that moment in time.
17) My Thoughts and awareness not connected to each other - if i think of something by chance the awareness of I've thought of it isn't there like it hasn't sank in or I've even thought of it, if i go somewhere could be somewhere important literally the second i walk away i have no awareness I've been there unless by chance someone asks me.
18) I have sudden "seizure" type Attacks.....it starts with a severe uncontrollable nervousness feeling - my body trembles & shakes, i start to get nerve and head pain all through my body, i have confusion, i cant take nothing in, i cant work out what I'm doing or where i am, i have to try to think & it hurts to try or to concentrate, it feels like razor blades passing through my nervous system or my brain is being deep fried, it also feels like i have no outwards awareness and I'm forgetful, i cant breath proper, body feels tense and in pain and i slur my words if at the time im talking to someone as its happened mostly in work. Deep breath every few minutes relieves the pain then it comes back
19) Forgetful in seconds,
20) I tried a small bottle of alcohol basically trying to live some form of social life - within 3 - 4 sips it made me feel like my head and awareness is being warped and I'm under water and confused.
21) Rushing or anything fast pace physically hurts and puts my body in pain, i lose clarity & i get confused and head pains and lose all concentration and awareness & im left with what feels minimal mind power and bodily functioning.
22) Feels like i have a lack of blood in my head 24/7 - feels like im exercising a dead muscle not wanting to be exercised & it hurts
23) Every now and then my mind opens up a little, my mood will lift and open with it and il mentally and physically feel more aware, more powerful, more intelligent and i have some form of my old self back. Ive noticed
Il yawn like I've woke from some form of coma or very very deep sleep.
24) I've No awareness of feeling time - how much time has passed not be aware of what part of the day it is, what month it is without trying hard to remember.
25) Constant feeling of pain and body pressure.
26) severe head & chest crushing pressure when driving at a higher altitude to the point i can not physically breath proper, it feels like I'm being suffocated.
27) Altered Emotions & altered mood states within minutes.
28) problem solving and decision making mentally feels impossible all the time.
29) All day everyday i have to consciously talk & tell myself to think about the things i use to just naturally think about without trying, like my own kids! My wife! My family! My hobbies & interests! My friends! General every day stuff! but yet when i do then try i cant do it!!! I can feel my mind trying but it physically hurts my brain and creates tenseness, it feels like I'm feeling the part of the brain isn't working trying to open up or work, so 24/7 i don't get them natural thoughts like i use to so i forget about my kids even exist or friends, family and hobbies I've done all my life even exist and if thats how i feel how am i meant to do things if i don't mentally think and be open & aware to do them!! - this is the hardest symptom! I can deal with pain but i miss my wife, kids, friends and family 24/7!
30) If i rest and relax & do nothing i get lost in time as i don't have any ideas or awareness
Lack of intelligence - struggle to keep clear train of thought, struggle to mentally think straight and work things out.
31) it feels like my thoughts and actions are not connected - so when writing what it is I'm trying to think to write i can not transfers to paper proper, i get my words mixed up, miss spelt, confused at what it is im trying to explain or write down to make sense and i also slur my writing, at the same time my mind feels slurred and fatigued
32) Ive found i can wake feeling 80% thats cognitive function and awareness and intelligence with no pain either in my head or body - the smallest of things be it physical or mental test can trigger my body to go in to a state of pain, cognitive problems, breathing problems, it physically and mentally feels like my head along with my awareness is being crushed inwards & I'm left feeling like i cant think, focus, feel, co ordinate - literally left with basic functioning but confused and in pain.
33) i cant watch tv it creates pain trying to & i get confused trying to follow plots or story lines. I don't watch things I've watched all my life as I've no awareness they exist unless by chance i see it even then chances are il forget.
I cant play on the playstation like i have all my life either, again it puts me in pain within 5 minutes i struggle to work out what it is I'm doing or have to do. I get lost in games literally i cant recall what way I've just come from or where it is i have to go or what I've just done or should be doing.
34) waking up everyday feeling like my heads a block of concrete/sludged up and heavy with tense pain. Too much sleep makes it worse. I struggle to think clear and work out things. Very low cognition.
Feel a little "not with it" too and as if not enough oxygen in my body.
Feel like i cant push ideas and thoughts - if i do it sends sharp shooting pains through my head.
35) dizziness, co ordination and balance problems almost all day every day
37) feels like my mind and my mouth are not connected so what i think to want to say i cant say it, if i try i slur my words and get confused. It physically hurts to talk and try.
36) forget to do important basic things like eat! Pay bills, stick to important dates, i just have no awareness they even exist unless by chance they are mentioned or I'm lucky enough to have my memory jogged.
37) I CAN WAKE THE NEXT MORNING AFTER A DAY OF HAVING NOTHING! TOTALLY NO MIND THINKING POWER, NO PHYSICAL ENERGY TO THE POINT I CANT STAND OR EVEN HOLD A KNIFE & FORK OR ENOUGH ENERGEY TO EAT, PRODUCE A THOUGHT TO WAKING & FEELING 90% NORMAL - NO PAIN NO AWARENESS PROBLEMS NO COGNITION PROBLEMS FREE FLOWING AWARNESS AND FEELINGS, SMELL TOUCH AND TASTE REGISTERS WITH EMOTIONS AND FEELINGS. I FEEL INTELLIGENT AGAIN - then the slightest thing triggers it & sets my body off - little concentration or small physical task, little anxiousness like someone shouting, i try to control it but i cant i can feel my nerves starting to hurt throughout my lower body and back, my stomach starts to go tense, my head starts to feel like its being tensed and crushed, the pain in my head and kneck start and my clarity & cognitive functions start to fade away, i struggle to breath. I start to feel like i cant take nothing in and im confused and have basic function. Stuck In pain and problems cognitive functioning, i have no control over it im now stuck like this 24/7 until my body resets itself somehow.
The pain is excruciating and the cognitive problems are debilitating. I just want to feel normal again!!
The things I've tried...
Anxiety medication
Depression medication
Returning to work after 6 months of being away due to my symtoms but the concentration and physical demand makes my symptoms much painful & much worse.
Light exercise/heavy excercise
Eating healthy
Rest
Recommended health Supplements & vitamins
Relaxation
Speaking to other specialists - a neurologist @ the brain & spine foundation who gave her opinion she said it could possibly be of lack of oxygen to the brain, lack of vitamins to the brain and body, Co2 poisoning, lack of blood circulation through the body - kkneck to the brain for me to suddenly have episodes of opening up, clicking out, going in due it suddenly on small physical demand - sounds like theres a lack of something being created or maybe "miss fires"
Psychiatrists & Numerous Drs, both not 100% sure what I'm going through hence the medication trials so i was referred for therapy.
2 anxiety therapists - both did not know what I'm going through so could not help me in anyway.
Private therapy - needed a full neurological assessment before he was happy to try psycho and hypnotherapy on me.
TESTS - I've had numerous blood tests and 1 MRI scan on my brain, my MRI shown sinus problems but my Dr never followed up on that.
Ive been stuck in this state above 24/7 13 months solid with no control over what i go through - other than that 1 or 2 occasions I've instantly "clicked" back to feeling a full 100% normal for about 10 minutes each time, i can feel, think, solid thoughts no pain, no awareness problems, no memory problems. It lasted only 10-15 mins each time then the pains started again in my lower body up in to my head and my body goes back in to this state.
Im not an expert and only drawing on my own experiences, but assuming any physical cause has been ruled out, it sounds to me as you may possibly just have become very focused on a panicky interpretation.
Have you ever tried to challenge your arguments, for example
You feel your cognitive ability is low, despite this you have managed to write a very impressive explanation of how you are feeling, would you be able to do this with a low cognitive ability?
You feel your memory is poor, but at the same time you have recalled two seperate occassions where things just 'clicked'
Could it be that your so heavily focused on the thoughts that scare you, that you simply wont allow yourself to relax and let the thought flow?
I know from my own experience that this is possible, and because all your concentration is focus on a panicky thought, you literally arent taking in anyting else around you. This in itself creates a feeling of detachment. In addition the high levels of anxiety you are experiencing could be causing a level of depersonalisation - its a naturl response to fear and settles as you relax.
My feeling is, the two times you 'clicked' were where you subconciously allowed yourself to distract from your scary thoughts and relax. I would be willing to bet you spent those 10 minutes of feeling normal questioning why you felt normal?
I've never tried to challenge my thoughts tbh. Its strange because despite me feeling how I do I am still doing things that a lot of men can not (as I'm
A tradesman) even though it creates intense pain and fatigue and I dont feel like I have all my life I'm still able to complete a task like decorating or landscaping my garden even doing my job fitting fireplaces but the problem is I'm doing in the state above uncomfortably and in pain, I feel like I'm doing it all stuck with only my conscious mind - when you do a quick maths sum in your head and you use the front of your mind for them couple of seconds well
I feel like I'm stuck with only that 24/7y mind won't open back up to full open feeling awarness.
I felt the shift the night it happened my body suddenly shuck slightly and I felt I click on my head at the same time my perception changed from how I felt for 30 years to this how I feel now.
The two times I clicked out of it I was sat feeling as bad as I do now reading symptoms on a website when suddenly CLICK! I was looking around the room like my soul and self had retured to my body!! I moved house since this started so feeling like I can't take nothing in despite being in this house over 3 months when it happened I was looking around like i was taking it in for the first time seeing it - but I could feel the emotional attachment too to wat I was seeing ect, it lasted about 10 minutes then my body sunk back in to this painful state of cognition and memory and awarnesa problems and pain, I'm not sure if something triggered the change or if I thought about anything specific.
The 2nd time was after my first CBT session before hand I was a mess. I couldnt even hold a pen and write my name proper what I was thinking wasn't transfereing to my hand to write I was confused a and all sorts, in pain the rest of it - the session ended I cried out of frustration I hadn't taken in a word she had told me I left in pain stepped out the building and struggled to findy car, took a second and drove home a mess. I sat on the sofa and tried explain to my wife - I then realised like I had forgot it was my little boys 2nd bday so I just wiped away the tears of pain and frustration & started online toy shopping I was struggling Couldnt take nothing in or think of things he likes then suddenly again "click" I was looking around my front room like I have never been there before, my body was open my memory was open my awarness was open I could recall anything from anytime years or months ago freely, I could feel emotion and feel aware of where my kids were without asking myself (if I rember too) I was yawning like i had woken from a deep deep coma or sleep it was amazing I felt normal in every way! Then .....the pains slowly started then my head become tense then my cognition was fading then my memory power was going then I'm send back in to living in what I can explain as very basic mental functioning in pain.
---------- Post added at 19:18 ---------- Previous post was at 19:11 ----------
I use to be an intelligent, technically minded gas engineer - now I'm lucky if I can even write a few paragraphs without spelling errors and trying to make sense of what I'm trying to write and explain. Literally forgetting what it is I'm explaining as I write it my memory & awarness is that bad. It changes though literally can be minutes to hours to days power changes the feelings change - but I never feel 100% normal like I have for 30 years. It's hard and frustrating to live with.
You come across intelligent and articulate, your posts are well written and easy to understand, you also talk a lot about your life pre anxiety, doesn't that suggest that your still you? And your cognitive ability is still strong - if not stronger than it was before, the fact is that even while experiencing all this stuff you are able to communicate perfectly with me?
The survival reactions within us cause us to concentrate on what we perceive as the biggest threat. That is taking the largest part of your concentration - you are refusing to let go of those panicky thoughts even for a second. Effectively you are multi tasking, major part of your thoughts being taken with anxious thoughts and just a small part is dealing with day to day stuff, which is why it doesn't feel like it's sticking. Think back pre anxiety, your at work concentrating on a difficult job, someone comes along and says can you ring Fred later ... But you were so preoccupied with the job that you never took the message on board fully and 10 mins later you can't remember who you should call. Did this used to happen to you? Could it be the same principle except now your panicky thoughts take priority over any other?
Hi Ollie 28.
I have just read your Post and you became ill around the same time as me.
There was a lot of symptoms that you have the I can relate to, but I don't know a lot about you and your Life to give the right advice.
It seems like you have tried a lot of stuff, but nothing has worked for you.
The only thing that springs to mind reading your post, is that you are still stuck in the 'repair mode' and have not progressed from that.
It is what you call an old fashioned 'Breakdown', but everyone calls is Anxiety today.
With a breakdown, you need to repair the damage first and that takes a certain way ofliving for a while. If you are still facing Responsibilities, Work, Stress, Fear, Trauma and difficult situations. The 'Repair Mode' will take longer.
I don't know your Life, so I can't comment on it, but to me and reading your Post, it seems that an incident or situation has left you and your Mind in a delayed 'Shock Mode'. All I can say at this time is listen to your Body and Mind.
If you are tired, then rest.
If you are confused or can not concentrate, then don't fight it.
If you are angry, the let it out by hitting a pillow or cushion.
If you want to cry, then cry.
If you feel like escaping or running away, then go for a walk.
It's really important to listen to what your Body and Mind are trying to tell you.
It need to repair and maybe you have been still pushing yourself too hard.
Please don't think I am being condescending, because I have been there, 24/7 in pain, desperate to get my Life back, feeling that I was out of control of my own body and mind, feeling like I was being electrocuted all of the time. Angry and weak at the same time. Could not watch TV or eat normally. Struggled to even get dressed.
So, I know how it is.
I am pleased to say that I am 80 percent back to normal now. With some blips in between, but I can lead a relatively normal Life. And you can too, in time.
Please do not give up hope, it is there, please believe me.
If I can help in anyway, I will.
Stay Strong and listen to what your body is telling you. :)
Strange how varying our experiences of recovery can be - for me, I didnt start to recover until I started to expose myself to life again. Not avoiding everyday life stresses told me that I wasnt as fragile as I had come to believe. The important thing for me was learning how to deal with those stresses so they didnt cause a repeat in the future.
I think it depends on the amount of stress or trauma we have put ourselves through and what period of time it is before we reached that point of breakdown.
Everybody has a breaking point, but we don't always see the signs ourselves. :ohmy:
Gotagetthroughthis
28-03-15, 00:05
Hi Ollie,
I think I spoke to you before through Private message as you have been going through very similar symptoms to me. I also still have many of these issues but right now it is not as severe as yours sounds.
Im sorry to hear you are still having such a hard time.
First of all a lot of what you have mentioned is that it feels like the brain not working properly and lack of intelligence. Well you have managed to write that huge post with the huge list and it all makes sense so let that be a slight reassurance that if your brain really wasnt working then you wouldn't be able to do that.
Secondly, I cant quite remember but what tests have you had from the doctor?
If all physical issues have been ruled out then at least that is some good news. Now there are so many things you can try to start to improve this. You just have to take one day at a time a try different things and you will eventually get some relief.
How are you today anyway?
PanicAttackGurl
28-03-15, 02:07
As I read through this thread, some things clicked with me and I did a bit of research. Just curious if anyone has heard of "Emotional Shock Mode"? It's similar to PTSD but can often occur during highly stressful situations, including emotional ones. It sends your nervous system into survival mode and has most of the symptoms listed in this thread. I found it as an interesting read because I have a lot of these symptoms. Something to ponder.
Gotagetthroughthis
28-03-15, 03:53
As I read through this thread, some things clicked with me and I did a bit of research. Just curious if anyone has heard of "Emotional Shock Mode"? It's similar to PTSD but can often occur during highly stressful situations, including emotional ones. It sends your nervous system into survival mode and has most of the symptoms listed in this thread. I found it as an interesting read because I have a lot of these symptoms. Something to ponder.
It could well be that along with a number of other things. I think these so called "disorders" are all intertwined anyway they are just given different names to try and separate them from each other but they are all linked or similar. "Emotional shock Mode" is probably just a name they have made up for milder cases of PTSD. The question is how do you get rid of it lol.
PanicAttackGurl
28-03-15, 04:29
It could well be that along with a number of other things. I think these so called "disorders" are all intertwined anyway they are just given different names to try and separate them from each other but they are all linked or similar. "Emotional shock Mode" is probably just a name they have made up for milder cases of PTSD. The question is how do you get rid of it lol.
I'm searching for the answer to that. Research thus far has suggested EMDR which I've never heard of and need to research and CBT.
Morning everyone, thanks for your help and advice and your time.
Test wise mate I had a MRI about 8 months ago my symptoms physically have gotten worse in my head since then and just blood tests.
The long list of symptoms I just copied and pasted I keep them on my phone because when I go to see people Drs ect I can't even think to remember.
I woke up this morning after a ok nights sleep feeling about 80% mind power awarness, feelings & in no pain, lay in bed watching YouTube with my little boy as soon as I got out of bed and started preparing for the day I could feel my head starting to feel crushed it's really really really bad I lose complete clarity it's hell! I can't take noise or anything because everything becomes hard to take in or hear/work out - It makes me feel like I'm going crazy - I know im not but the mentally cognition and pain crushing feelings is so so bad I can't deal with it,
I've just had my wife's hands around my head trying to push down as I push back,
I'm trying to get through each minute of every day like this! I've got no life at all, all my family and friends are getting on with there life's enjoying there kids and going out ect in only 31 and I can't do any of them because I don't mentally or physically feel capable.
I use to be able to do anything and everything - my wife reminded me we had a holiday booked for september we booked early last year - I've had no awarness that holiday even existed despite it being a family holiday we all booked together!! As soon as she told me I knew about it I knew but up until that point I had no awarness ......I'm stuck feeling like this I can't cope
---------- Post added at 11:54 ---------- Previous post was at 11:51 ----------
Is it defo anxiety!!? I feel like I've got Alzheimer's or something the way my perception feels - but then why would it shift and change why would it click away then go back!! I Feel trapped Its driving me insane!!!!!
My ears are crunching and clicking like mad my head feels full of tension, anyone know if sinus problems can create such intense problems?
---------- Post added at 12:12 ---------- Previous post was at 11:54 ----------
I've read about the band around the front of the head but it's all the back of my head.
To me it sounds very much like anxiety, the questioning of it, really is the nature of the beast. Learning to say its just anxiety really does help, taking the power away!
Can you think back to this morning the moment you stopped using youtube, what was your first thought? were you expecting the sensations to kick in? were you questioning how you were feeling? You say you were fine in bed, if you think this through, you were distracted then, you felt safe and content. The minute you allow your thought process to move to your 'panicky' thoughts, your body starts a chain of protective events - one of those being to constrict muscles including those in the neck and scalp. I very often experienced pain at the back of my head, does your kneck feel tense at the same time, shoulders hunched?
I also used to get odd hearing sensations, think about this though ... you didnt get them whilst you were busy with your boy, you dont get them whilst you sleep - both times when you arent self monitoring your feelings :)
Hi mart,
I can't remember what I think about tbh, I know though anything physical can also trigger my symptoms - again I've gone to bed feeling like I've been mentally and physically battered and had broken sleep yet woke the next day feeling 80% in all areas and in no pain, I've got out of bed "looking for it" waiting for it to start or come and it's not - I've got dressed made breakfast for the family and still it's not come, but anything to much, running up stairs, carrying rubbish to the outside bins puts me in head pain. Tense and crushing it's really intense too! I can take pain I just want to be able to feel normal and aware and not feel like my memory is impaired.
A lot of your advice and descriptions make sense I'm in such as stare though the way I feel I dont feel like I can work out how to start putting them in to place.
Psychomotor therapy / EMDR is what I'm being treated with. I have days where I think its anxiety/trauma related but then when I'm at my worst in servere pains and cognitive problems I'm swearing it had to be physical and neuro related,
Nothing is helping me - the pain why I'm writing this is very bad.
It sometimes feels like my body is trapped in a psychological state of emotion,
Sometimes I feel like my body hasn't processed what happened or has moved on or been able to process all the trauma so it's stuck
My body feels like after you cry and you feel that emotional come down well a lot of the time my body feels like it's stuck in that state and won't reset,
I'm stuck feeling like I'm thinkng to think thinking to talk thinking to act I'm stuck like this this is why it feels like I can not take nothing in. This is why I'm in so much pain too - mentally I can't relax my mind or shut off I'm stuck aware of being aware it's painful. I can't wait to have a EEG.
My attention can be taken away so if I'm watching a film with my wife at night il drift off in to the plot or what ever but as I do this I'm not following it im just "zoning" out if you like why this happens I've no awarness for them few seconds of anything not even myself then "snap" I run out of power to keep concentrating and my mind resets, then I have to start again - it's horrible - I'm having some horrible cognitive problems, connections between thoughts and memories, feelings & thoughts,
Psycological or neurological or both I just need that "clicking out of it" to happen and leave me like that.
I'm guessing what I went through I wasn't finding the answers to my questions each time I asked so I would end up twice as stressed out and puzzled it went on for months, I'm wondering because my body and mind was never given the answers to important questions my mind could not process the unknown to move on and that went on and on to still this day As much as I tell myself it no longer matters I still consciously am not satisfied that my trauma was ever resolved in a way I would like - does this sound like it's possible or I'm a talking garbage? I know the body and nervous system can hold on to a life time of stress and memories so I guess anything is psychologically possible.
I'm one of them people if something has happened or something has bee said or someone's got a problem with me I have to address it to a certain extent to feel satisfied it's sorted out, but when my trauma was out of my hands and I was asking big questions and not getting the answers to put the pieces together that explains why I couldn't do this, I couldn't process it and keep moving on I was trapped and hopeless and bewildered, panicking and full of anger, fear, sadness, and left to try to piece together an invent I had no answers to 1000 questions. That's my explanation anyways 8-)
today again has been nothing but pain and confusion - it wasn't until 4 o'clock I realised I've not eaten or drank all day or taken my vitamins and medication, 14 months ago I was boxing, playing football, going to work installing £6000 fireplaces for footballers, taking my kids out on days out and going out with my wife for the night - I'm lucky now even I even remember these things exist on another day to think of them.
Sorry to ramble on I'm just fed up, if I could do things I've been told will help I would Its pot luck if I can remember too.
---------- Post added at 18:24 ---------- Previous post was at 18:14 ----------
I feel like I'm just existing not living, not getting anything at all out of life I never feel the emotion or feeling of satisfaction mentally or emotionally I just role on to the next thing to the next with no satisfication of the think I've just done. Because my body is stuck in this state - I HAVE to tell think to tell myself only then I remember but again once I let it go it's as if it's gone forever and again I don't feel satisfied!! I feel like screaming!!!! It's hell
Hi Ollie,
Have to say having read the last post there are some bits that dont sound anxiety related or at least not in my experience.
Without doubt if this is physical and you have gone this long undiagnosed then you would be certain to be experiencing some level of anxiety - I had Anxiety for many years, went through counselling and was anxiety free for a good period of time, I experienced some visual problems, which took a few weeks to diagnose, within that short time my mind went into overdrive and I was experiencing full blown anxiety again. So its plausible that you could have a combination.
Have you been evaluated for things like M.E or Chronic Fatigue, I have a number of friends with this and some of the symptoms you describe seem to fit - particularly the brain fog and the unexplained pain ?
Gotagetthroughthis
28-03-15, 19:47
Ollie from everything you describe it sounds exactly the same as what I am experiencing. I am unable to explain it in detail anymore because I have somehow managed to detach myself from it and as soon as my symptoms subside for a bit I let them go and pretty much forget about them as fast as I can to reduce the amount of distress I feel. This has also resulted in my short term memory becoming non existent and I think that is because my own brain is trying to protect itself from feeling the pain of horrible memories of symptoms/trauma etc from the anxiety.
The most likely thing is this is anxiety even if it feels like something else. The best thing you can do to start moving forward and to ease the symptoms is to stop analysing everything that is going on so much. Every time you are getting these symptoms you are analysing everything about them and focusing on them and even when you feel a bit better you are waiting for the symptoms to come back again and if you keep thinking like that and expecting them then they will come back. It becomes a habitual pattern which is hard to break out of. I know is extremely hard to not focus on the feeling and symptoms when they are right there in your head and they feel so horrible but the first step to getting better is to accept them and stop over analysing them.
In my case there I think there is some underlying trauma or a number of small traumas that have affected me through my life and they may not have seemed like anything major at the time but they were always there under the surface in my subconscious memory and now I have this breakdown they are the underlying issues that are keeping me locked in the trap of anxiety and physical/mental symptoms. I don't know about you but it may be a similar reason that you are the way you are right now. Its very complex but it can be worked out.
Your trying EMDR which hopefully will help. I haven't had that myself but see how it goes, it may get to the route of some of those traumas if that is what is causing your issues. If that doesn't work there are literally hundreds of other things you can try. Take each day as it comes stop putting so much pressure on yourself to be well again. Keep trying things and keep your determination up which is great but stop beating yourself up about it if your having a bad day. I know its probably hard when you have kids and responsibilities but just try and chill a bit and in time you will work this out.
If the EMDR doesn't work its on to the next but you will get better somehow im sure of it. If you are getting overly concerned about the physical symptoms then go back to the doctor just to be checked our for your own sanity.
When this started I also felt flue like - I know CFS M.E is a started by viral infection??
I was putting my mind and body mentally and physically through so so much I was going the gym twice a day first thing then working physical in my job all day on my own plus thinking inwards fast and deep all day getting emotional, angry, fear, sad, frustrated then picking then coming home going boxing again then going home and thinking all night on my own again (my trauma was family separation related) this went on for about 3 months solid I was using boxing abd the gym in the end as a drug to lift me make me feel good about myself and it helped with the anger, boxing helped to release the frustration. I also had to drive 30 - 40 miles to work every morning & home at night so again thinkng inwards deep which was constantly triggering emotional changes within minutes.
I wasn't sleeping proper I was having nightmares as i was made to move away from my family home and my kids which killed me emotionally and mentally, I had slept on the same bed as my wife for 15 years - I went that deep in to thinking that even things like this put me in a enotional mess. I slept with my phone next to me every night in bed and I woke through the night on a couple of occasions not knowing where I was - I use to wake up looking for my van keys & my wallet - I was a mental mess. Ild wake every morning praying my wife had text me to come home. I use to drive down every morning just to be in my family home to see my wife and kids and take my little girl to school, only at the time I hadnt realised I was dangerously running myself in to this "mental break down" or what ever I'm going through. It went on for 4 months like this I just wanted my family back I put myself through emotional hell but I just couldnt no matter how hard I tried or how matter how horrible my wife was to me I just wanted my family life back. So much went on I thought in the end I had accepted it was over I was moving on I went and bought a sports car I was going boxing twice a day I was running around like a 16 year old the truth was I was probably just at this point a mental mess but I was so high on adrenaline or so mentally messed up I didn't stop to take notice.
I started to notice about 3 and a half months in I started having these sudden episodes of just "clicking off" - I was still going to work through these 4 months BTW and by this point I was working with an apprentice, I'm guessing my employer was noticing i was a mess only I hadnt I was running around like a 16 year old. I can remember driving work on a couple of occasions walking in to our office and not remembering the drive in or able to remember, I can also recall my boss's wife giving me instructions to go do some gas work and just staring right through her literallyy mind on my wife or just "gone" I had to ask her to repeat all she just said, this is when i started to take notice! I started to realise I was slowing down and noticing changes with myself on all levels. Ild get in my van to drive 30 miles home but because it was winter ild put the blowers on full heat, ild drive about 15 miles then realise it was so so hot then realise I had the blowers on full! Now there loud when on full but obviouslyy mind and awarness were now being severely effected, again I started to notice and questioning my self...
One night I got 5 minutes from home and got stuck on a slip road coming off the m62, suddenly I went in to some sort of panic like I was being suffocated it was horrible I just started feeling strange and lost and freaked out I tried to keep calm I went straight to my wife's house fell to the floor crying I begged her to stay with me that night, at the time I didn't go in to it again but again another warning my body is breaking!!!
This is where I started to take notice - all the above was still happening I was still going the gym - still feeling crap but also high on top of the world - my wife wanted to get back together, by this point i had lost 4st, had a new car and an modern apartment in a up market area, despite my bodily things I just kept going work me and my wife were getting on like a house on fire prob because I was just a adrenaline junky going boxing full of adrenaline but now it was getting bad, I started to notice I kept just "clicking off" my body & mind would suddenly shut down!! I mean just bam! Off ild go I couldn't think or talk, I couldn't concentrate or barley move proper - my apprentice noticed it happening to me, when it happened he kept asking if I was ok, ild just say yer I just think Im tired - this happened about 5 times in 3 days each day episode lasting about 10 - 30 mins (I think) the last night we went out with another couple me and my wife, Friday day it happened on work again I just shrugged it off went the gym on way home went home went out, we was say in the Chinese I was fine getting involved having a laugh then "click" I went again I just couldn't function or even talk more. I sat there quiet I couldn't even listen.
Went home & went bed.
The next day I woke up thought nothing off last night, that evening I was making tea for my wife & kids and as I turned around BANG! my body suddenly trembled quick it felt like my body shuddered at the same time I physically felt a click in my head/brain - as that happened the room suddenly shot back as if i had taken a step back but everywhere felt un familiar - even my wife and children I was looking at them but couldn't take them in - it felt like i become on the wrong side of my own mind. Disconnected, detatched, confused, locked away! - I started to panic!! I went to bed hoping it would just go but it never I woke the next day feeling the same, how I had felt all my life has gone I know felt wrong! I struggled to take anything in as the week went on I got worse, I was trying to work out what had happeded I just felt the more I tried the deeper I went. The pain started about a week after that, I suddenly fell to my knees one day - the pain felt like my sanity was being sucked out my head I was screaming!!! It lasted about 5 minutes then went but would come back over the next few months, I tried to let it come let it pass, in the end it started fade after about 10 months, now I just get that pain every now and then but only slight,
Now for the last 6 months my problems are cognition memory and awarness, and head & nerve pain, My perception of how i feel and look out from my own body still feels like it did that night it "triggered" I've never come out of that back to how I've felt the previous 30 years,
That's my history - just thought ild share it get it off my chest.
Sorry it was so long I get lost and carried away as you can see by all my posts.
Well you were certainly under quite some pressure before this all happened, the incident on the motorway junction sounds to me like a classic panic attack in a trapped situation - body full of adrelanie and nowhere to go with it. Its quite common at Traffic Lights too.
I guess there could be any number of reasons you feel the way you do, from physical to emotional or a combination. You are about to start treatment for the Anxiety arent you? why not give it a go and see how you feel after that?
I was just thinking that Mart0310, about 'Chronic Fatigue'.
I definitely had a lot of that thrown in to the mix; solidly for ten years and my Car Crash was the final cherry on the top.
People kept saying to me; "You look tired", "you do too much", "watch it you'll have a break-down'. But, did I listen? No. I just kept pushing myself.
Even when I experienced my first Panic Attack; which I didn't know was a Panic Attack, on I would go, carrying on, pushing myself, not sleeping properly; probably because of over tiredness.
Even when I had the Crash and the car went into the back of me, my car was smoking from the rear and I just got back in to it and carried on driving to my destination like a demented person not realizing how dangerous it was to do so.
I was walking around in a daze, not knowing what I was really doing, where I was going.
Then the crunch came one day when I was walking up the road to the local Bakery and my legs felt really heavy. I could hardly put one foot in front of the other. I had to find a seat and sat on a nearby bench for 5 minutes. Then I got up again and they were still heavy, my breathing was also very shallow. I managed to get to my Parents house and I sat down and started eating a sandwich and my eyes blurred over and I felt dizzy and I started crying and eventually I was so bad that I had to call A & E.
When they came, they told me straight away that I had a Panic Attack.
I felt exhausted and I phoned my Partner to come and get me.
When he arrived and put me in the car, I had this severe head pain like someone had got a knife and was slitting my head. I screamed and it happened several times.
Then when we got home and I was sitting down, the thighs of my legs were vibrating and my body was shivering.
For the next 6 months I couldn't function like a normal person at all.
I couldn't say what I wanted to say, it came out all strange with the wrong words.
I went in to the kitchen, picked up a kettle and didn't know what to do with it.
I couldn't even remember in which order to get dressed.
I'd forgotten how to swallow food properly.
I had no concept of time or days.
I had constant head pain of every type including the tight band around the head, sharp shooting pains on the top of the head, ice-pick pains down the side of the head, pressure pain on the temples; it was everywhere 24/7.
I had all the Anxiety symptoms all over my body and it was in HELL.
I felt like I was in a bubble; I was there, but not there; outside looking in.
So, I did nothing. My wonderful Partner did everything for me.
All I did was communicate on this Forum and sleep, rest and eat little and often.
All responsibilities were taken away from me and it worked.
I had no Medication, because I did not want to go down that route and I have a phobia anyway. I read books, listened to music, painted a picture, played games, went for walks, took up Yoga and got myself a Therapist.
I cried bucket loads, and let it all go.
Yes, I have had blips, and I am not totally cured. But I am almost there. But absolutely NO WAY do I want to go back to the way things were before.
I pace myself, I give myself time and I know the warning signs this time round.
What I am saying is that you have to let your Body and Mind repair and if you are still trying to do all that you used to do and you are still not progressing, then you are doing too much. You have to change your lifestyle.
A Breakdown needs to repair. It's not just happened overnight, it's probably years of exhaustion, trauma, sadness, stress, illness and so on.
Look at your Life, can it be changed? Do you still have too much responsibility? How much stress is involved in your week? Can you use that adrenaline for more beneficial therapy; like walking, swimming, gardening, Yoga/Tai Chi?
Please don't give up. You can get better and you will be a different person once you come out the other side. :)
---------- Post added at 18:17 ---------- Previous post was at 18:10 ----------
Just wanted to also say that most GP's have absolutely no concept of this illness; unless they are in that field.
If you need help, you have to do it through Therapy or Counselling or with the help of the fellow sufferers on here.
GP's can only give you Meds. They won't help to cure you or explain the illness in detail.
And, Googling is definitely a NONO! It will only make you believe that you have some awful incurable disease and in return feeds your Anxiety and makes it ten times worse. :ohmy:
I've just had to ring 111, today I've been so ILL,
Last night I went to bed I read a chapter of Benjamin fry's book and fell asleep -
I went straight in to a dream only my dreams are so real because my mind does not switch off I'm asleep but my minds awake and in this dream I was dreaming I couldn't walk or stand I was servely dizzy like I was mega drunk and has no mind power it was horrible - I woke in this state as the dream ended I become that bad in my dream it was if I was dreaming how my body was feeling why asleep !!! I couldn't move or talk or communicate with my wife I couldn't stand up and I was dizzy just like I was in my dream, I kept telling myself in my dream "come on don't give in get up" and I kept trying only everytime I stood up I fell back to the floor! It was horrible, this isn't the first time this has happened to me.
After 30 minutes of coming around and getting the power back in my mouth and mind to explaining to my wife i suddenly needed sugar so I had to go down stairs and eat sugar & carbs untily body was satisfied, I went back to bed.
This morning I woke up feeling like my mind had not switched off all night I was in pain and felt physically sick, but as usual I got up took little girl to school, but was in a state, I couldn't think, I felt physically sick I was vomiting, I felt weak and had really really bad head pain,
My day today has been a mixture of severe head pain, cognition and awarness problems vomiting and weakness in my body and in my mental state,
Roughly about 3 o'clock the pain and symptoms eased off pretty much went away and I could think better and didn't feel sick, I felt my cognition, thinking awarness and memory was strong, I took the opportunity to play with my little boy on the floor then lay to watch a film, I lay there for a good hour It felt good to be pain free and about 80% normal - within half hour I could feel the change I started to get body pain then head pain so so bad I fell on to the floor, my cognition and awarness started going I started feeling dizzy and the sickness and vomiting suddenly come back I had to run up stairs to the bathroom. The pain I was getting in from vomiting was so bad iny head and body I was shouting.
I just rang 111 because I've been getting worse the last 2-3 weeks.
I'm laying on the sofa now in pain feeling sick and ILL in every way possible.
The pains are so bad Im afraid to move.
I shouldn't off but though it might help about 1 o'clock I went the asda with my wife as soon as I stepped out the car just trying to work out where I was put me in confusion, pain, sickness, then I could barley walk, I walked around that place like a ghost feeling weak, sick, confused, cold, in pain, basically ready to just hit the floor.
I can't sleep sleeping dosnt help neither does resting.
I'm so ILL and getting worse I don't know litrally can't figure out what I need to do. Im just living each second at a time in this state.
I feel like I'm dying I can't think of any other way to explain it, when I I'm out just walking around with my wife is enough for me to feel like I'm dying.
Becoming desperate to regain my old life or some form of life. Anything where I need to use a little bit of mind power puts me in pain and confusion and now vomiting sickness.
Ollie 28, I really feel for you.
Have felt like that in my worst period of Anxiety.
But going to 'Asda' was the last thing you needed feeling the way you do.
I understand that you may not want to be left alone, but it's time to take that 'Time Out'. And time to seek a Therapist.
Yes, you will have those feelings of dread, feelings of being scared, feeling out of control and not being able to function normally. Feelings of what's real and not real.
It's hard to imagine, but 'Anxiety' can do all of this. It can fake all sorts of things in your Mind. But, actually make them real. The Brain send messages to your body and can actually mimic all sorts of wicked stuff.
I don't want you to suffer in silence, please get some help from a Therapist or get a referral from your GP.
Stay strong.
Thanks,
I know I really shouldn't of gone out today but I stayed in all day Sunday and it made me worse as my mind feels like it's closing up on itself, it's a horrible horrible feeling so I thought getting out Would make me focus on other things I was wrong I just ended up physically feeling worse.
I rang my Dr this morning he has proscribed me something for "migrane" pains even though I'm pretty sure it's not a migrane and something for helping with the vomiting and sickness feeling.
I've lost my voice I've been vomiting that hard all day. This really is a horrible horrible horrible Illness. My mum has had two nervous breakdowns and went through nothing I'm going though, I'm still under neurological tests I'm due to have a MRI & EEG middle of April - the way I've been feeling these last couple of days they should be rushing them through,
I've told myself I'm staying in tomorrow gona try sleep all day - I've tried before I just wake feeling even worse though,
My symptoms don't change much if I do nothing sometimes it makes me feel like I'm going crazy litrally as I can't take anything in (so it feels) and I forget where my wife's gone then when I realise I start to panic - I feel so trapped.
---------- Post added at 20:26 ---------- Previous post was at 20:11 ----------
I'm still feeling there's something more wrong than just anxiety - personally I believe all the anxiety is coming from what I'm experiencing, I could be wrong I just find my symptoms so so physical and painful and bad.
I'm 50/50 - I know accepting is part of healing but I've accepted it months ago, Ive followed advice off here and out of books like Paul
David & Claire weekes and I just can't seem to follow it, not because I dont know how but because my cognition is so so bad I'm lucky if I even rember to
remember too - the pains so so bad I'm lucky if I can escape it to have a straight mind to focus and work things out,
I really really am in a bad bad way I'm
Now admitting this - I've been like this for so long and feel like I'm getting worse - I just want these tests all done because I need to get the right help.
My therapist is very very good he's one of the best in the country apparently, he also works private at the Spire hospital his private sessions are £360ph so I'm lucky to find such a person on the NHS only I'm that bad When I see him I can't even keep enough mind power to feel like I'm taking anything in or away from his sessions.
He's treating me with Psychomotor therapy & EMDR because he thinks possibly I'm
Suffering from PTSD but still he also is a neurologist and wants me to have a full neurological tests as well as therapy so you could imagine how bad I am.
I just can't get over this crushing sensation in having if this went away I could cope a bit better.
Ollie, can I give you a few tips?
Keep a journal.
Make notes rather than keeping it all in your head.
Note down important things that you have to do that day.
Make a note of what is happening; i.e. Wife gone shopping and so on.
This will help you and your Mind.
Get something to occupy yourself. Like a pad to scribble, draw or just get your feelings out on paper. (This helps to relieve some of the pet-up emotions.
Another tip, when I felt panicky I used to either sing or count to 100 and back until I felt better.
Have also some telephone numbers of Friends that you can phone when you get panicky or otherwise you can always chat on here.
There's always someone on here to calm you down or reassure you that you will be ok.
You could also make a list of your symptoms and at the end of each day tick the ones that have affected you. I did this and if one or two of them disappear from the list, it shows that you are going in the right direction.
Get some fresh air, even if it is standing in the garden.
Drink plenty of fluids, but definitely no alcohol; that makes it worse. So, does coffee.
Make another appointment to see the GP. You may have a Migraine because of the Anxiety. Sleep and rest will help, but you need sound of mind, so don't think you are bothering the GP, just go and get checked out.
---------- Post added at 20:36 ---------- Previous post was at 20:27 ----------
Yes, I agree Ollie, it does sound like PTSD. That's what I had.
That's why you have the pain.
I had it real bad in the head.
It felt like someone was knifing me all the time.
I could not function either.
You need to be able to release all of this pain, but it has to be done gradually and carefully. That's why it takes a long time to recover.
You are in the height of it and the good news is that it will start to go the other way soon.
The 'Paul David' book is very good, but I don't think you can take that in at the moment.
You need rest, sleep, good healthy food, fresh air, plenty of water and Therapy. :)
Honestly, I understand the power of Anxiety.
I couldn't eat, sleep, walk, speak. I was a living corpse. :ohmy:
Can I just say thank you too you all!
THANK YOU!!!!!!!
It's amazing despite people feeling really poorly you can offer your time up for people like myself who's worrying what the hell is happening to me, I'm lost, confused, in pain and suffering - I know I couldn't do this alone and the people on this site have helped me along with my wife. Your all amazing people I wish everyone all the best, I hope one day I can come back on here and re read my million posts asking questions and look at how far I've come - I'm no way near that but who knows maybe one day il just wake up and up feel fine.
Today I've taken it easy sat on the sofa all day watching old episodes of the walking dead - just relaxed or tried the pains and feeling come one or twice but I coped on my own, I started getting fed up and upset about 4.30 had a cry and as usual It lifted I felt ok I went for a walk with my little girl for the next 30
Minutes I was ok but I know the process and know I usually feel ok for about 30 minutes after crying then all the sensations come back and so the pains and awarness goes blar blar blar - I know the circle I just have no control over it.
I lay in the bath closed my eyes and was picturing myself on our last family holiday I could think easily feel it and picture it for about 10 seconds the pains then start in the part of my head I'm using and I'm blocked I can no longer do it.
Sound simlar with a break down?
My brain feels completely dead but I have no choice I have to use it so as I do it creates all types of pains, it's so fatigued and knackerd it won't even rest when I sleep it hurts to sleep,
Tomorrow I'm going try to attempt to take my little boy out - despite the pain and things I need some form of life, I'm prob my illness own worst problem,
Try to watch some 'Comedy' as well. You need to feed the Brain some 'Happy' moments. Although taking your boy out is a 'Happy moment'.
Ollie, members on here that have got over the worst of it or found ways of coping and healing will help others who are suffering.
It's a terrible, soul destroying illness and it's hard to believe that just Anxiety can do this to you, but it can.
This Site has been a Lifesaver for so many people of all ages and we are lucky to have found it.
Powered by vBulletin® Version 4.2.5 Copyright © 2024 vBulletin Solutions Inc. All rights reserved.