Maple
28-03-15, 17:55
After a couple of weeks with milder symptoms and worries, I've just had a couple of really bad days. Today all it took was a 5 minute walk to the store to get some milk and on my way back home I had developed a heavy pressure-like pain in my shoulder, left arm and a cramp like ache in my throat.
Classic angina, right? Except I've been visiting more doctors and taken more ECG's than I can count on one hand over the past few months, including one on a treadmill, and nothing bad has showed up. I've also had long discussions with a relative who works as a nurse at an emergency hospital and whose husband has had several heart attacks, and she doesn't seem to believe my heart is the problem.
However, I just cannot let go of the fear that it might be my heart that is causing these symptoms. I just can't stop the impulse to go to a private doctor and demand further testing, even though I realize it's most likely a huge waste of my time and money.
I'm tired of this daily intense fear that my heart is sick. It's not so much the possibility that I could die at any moment that bothers me, that's true for everyone regardless of health issues, it's the fear that I might be dying and things could've been done to stop it if only I could get the correct diagnosis.
I've developed an almost phobic relationship to my heart. I feel disgusted by my own body and I keep picturing my fattened, clogged arteries and I just feel like I want to escape from my own body. It's making me sick to my stomach, literally, which is of course yet another symptom of heart disease.
I feel so stuck. I feel so alone, even though I'm probably not. If you can relate, please share your story in this thread. I need some company and reassurance right now. I'm tired of crying by myself.
Classic angina, right? Except I've been visiting more doctors and taken more ECG's than I can count on one hand over the past few months, including one on a treadmill, and nothing bad has showed up. I've also had long discussions with a relative who works as a nurse at an emergency hospital and whose husband has had several heart attacks, and she doesn't seem to believe my heart is the problem.
However, I just cannot let go of the fear that it might be my heart that is causing these symptoms. I just can't stop the impulse to go to a private doctor and demand further testing, even though I realize it's most likely a huge waste of my time and money.
I'm tired of this daily intense fear that my heart is sick. It's not so much the possibility that I could die at any moment that bothers me, that's true for everyone regardless of health issues, it's the fear that I might be dying and things could've been done to stop it if only I could get the correct diagnosis.
I've developed an almost phobic relationship to my heart. I feel disgusted by my own body and I keep picturing my fattened, clogged arteries and I just feel like I want to escape from my own body. It's making me sick to my stomach, literally, which is of course yet another symptom of heart disease.
I feel so stuck. I feel so alone, even though I'm probably not. If you can relate, please share your story in this thread. I need some company and reassurance right now. I'm tired of crying by myself.